Page 25 of These Wicked Hearts

“Uh, yeah.”

“Please go out there and try not to be a waste of cap space. Yeah?” His dark gray brows climb, his eyes going wide. He’s a scary motherfucker.

“Yes, Coach.”

“Great, as you were.”

I stand there for a second longer than I should then grip my stick tighter than I need to.

Head in it. Swallow down my thoughts.

Just like I’ve done a million times before.

I brace my hand on the tile wall and let the hot water slide over my skin. Everything aches. It’s not the good post-practice burn. This is different. A deeper ache I haven’t been able to shake since I was with Gage nights ago.

It had taken less than twenty-four hours afterward for my thoughts to cage me in again.

I drag my hand down my face, exhaling as the water runs over me, but it doesn’t wash away how I feel. When I close my eyes, it only makes everything brighter. I’m not here. Instead, I’m in some shower with steam curling around Gage as his heat presses in behind me.

I suck in a sharp breath. “Fuck.” I shut off the water and grab a towel. This is why I’m off, that’s all. Either way, if I don’t get my shit together, Knox is going to tear me apart. And the worst part . . . I don’t even know if I care.

I love hockey. I breathe hockey. I just need to focus.

I wrap a towel around my waist and dry my hair. At least my body isn’t sore in that way anymore. I did not think that part through. It’s not like I haven’t had sex with a woman before practice, but this was different. I was sore, everywhere, days after.

I really hope Knox isn’t too angry with me. He’s a good captain, but he’s not Oli. Which, no shit, I know he’s his own person. Oli was extremely aggressively vocal when we fucked up. Knox is more the grit his teeth and imagine squeezing our necks type.

Maybe I need to find someone to take my mind off all this tonight.

Jerking off sucks. I tried again this morning before getting ready. I even tried with my dildo, but it wasn’t the same. I need to do something tonight and erase it from my mind.

What do I want to do tonight? We have a game in two nights. We lost last night and our coach let the entire state of Virginia know what a bunch of shitheads we are. My old coach on the Otters knew we’d have bad nights and good nights, but Coach Grady treats us like we’re failures.

Maybe I could somehow find Gage. It’s been days since we hooked up, but it’s like I can still feel his hands on me. The way he touched me, fucked me. I’ve never felt anything that good.

Plus, he was fun to annoy.

Maybe if I describe him to Knox, he’ll know who he is. There’re hundreds of apartments, and even though most of the people who live there keep to themselves, how hard could it be to find a man with bright blue hair? No, I can’t do that. I set the stupid-ass rules and now I need to listen to them. I’m just going to go home and jerk off the entire night to thoughts of him. As I walk down the small hallway to the locker room I hear hushed voices.

Rome?

“Good,” I hear Coach say. “Now get the fuck out of my face and get your shit together. Game in two nights, and if I see a pathetic show like last game, I’ll make it so no team will ever sign you. Understood?”

I duck behind a wall as I hear footsteps. What the hell was that? I peek around and begin to move when Rome barrels out of the alcove. I freeze, sizing him up. He’s not much taller than I am, but there’s an air about him that feels deadly. “Fuck out of my way.” He bumps past me, storming down to the lockers.

What the hell was that about?

I walk to my cubby and drop onto the bench. All I want to do is go home and crash. Exhaustions weighs down my limbs and I’m praying I’ll be able to pass out quickly.

Well, no, what I really want to do is knock on every door until I find Gage’s apartment. The thing is, I don’t even know if he lives there. What if he just works there? What if he was visiting a friend? I’d asked, but he never gave me a straight answer.

I don’t know. All I do know is the sex was great. Like, possibly the best sex anyone has ever had. All my thoughts are of him. I just want more. One night wasn’t enough. I just need one more night.

For the first time in my life, it’s not alcohol I’m craving. It’s him in my bed. On my back as he fucks me. His cock, that tongue. Fuck.

“Hey.” I look up and see Knox shake out his auburn hair. Thankfully he’s not glaring at me now. “What are you doing tonight?” I open my mouth, but he interrupts me. “Just kidding. I already know what you’re doing tonight.”

“And what’s that?”