Page 156 of These Wicked Hearts

I nod with a smile. “That’s okay. I don’t mind that.”

“What about you, now that everything’s out?”

I take a deep breath. The reality is that everything’s imploding, but my friends are by my side, and that’s enough for now.

“I just didn’t want to take them down with me,” I admit. “It’s why I didn’t say anything. I thought he would ruin them.”

His fingers slide along my jaw. “You matter too, Gage.” He presses a kiss to my forehead. “If anything was possible, what would you want to do?”

My first thought is this. I just want this. That’s not reality, though. While I can lie here with him and be happier than I ever thought I could be, I know I need more. “I want to make music.” I swallow. “I just want to love it again. I want to make music, and I don’t want to hide anymore. I want to be me.”

His fingers soothe down my spine. “Then just be you, Gage, because who you are is incredible, and I can’t wait to see what your brilliant mind comes up with next.”

THIRTY-SEVEN

Atlas

“And the last one.”

I carefully place my new Mystique figurine onto the shelf beside Magneto and Rogue. Her tiny painted eyes stare back at me.

“Perfect.”

Sunlight spills through the room. I’ve spent all morning moving things around. There’s something therapeutic about rearranging my things. I’ve had the new figures Gage has bought me over the last six months in my apartment back in Virginia, and I couldn’t wait to put them up here.

I step back and inspect the new X-Men shelf I set up. “No offense, Psylocke.” I glance down at her. “You’ve been my favorite for years. This isn’t personal.”

The purple-haired figurine remains unbothered by this development.

Being back home in New Jersey during the off season always feels calming in a way. The quiet streets, familiar rain-scented pavement, and mundane daily routines I miss during hockey season ground me.

But this year, coming home feels different.

For the first time in a long time, home doesn’t just feel like a break from hockey. It feels like so much more.

I leave the comic room and head down the hall to what used to be my old office. Now it’s a half studio, half recording room thanks to Gage slowly taking over the space piece by piece. There’s soundproof padding on the walls, wires everywhere. Guitars sit in stands by the window, catching the sunlight.

The door is open a crack. I push it gently and find Gage sitting at the computer in his boxers and one of my hoodies. Headphones dangle around his neck. Chen’s face fills the monitor in front of him.

I stop in the doorway, not wanting to interrupt, but Chen notices me immediately. “Well, look who finally emerged from his nerd cave.”

Gage spins around in his chair.

His entire face lights up when he sees me. It still gets me every time. His hair is completely dark brown now, and he’s grown a little scruff on his face that I love to run my hands through. He swivels back around to his friend, and I step up behind him, bracing my hands on the back of his chair before leaning down to steal a soft kiss.

“Is he working you too hard?” I ask Chen.

“I’m trying to tell him the song is finished.” Chen shakes his head. “But apparently Mr. Producer here needs to tweak every vocal layer until he gets perfection.”

Gage groans. “There are just a few things that could sound cleaner⁠—”

“Gage!” Chen whines. “It’s perfect. You need to let it go.”

Gage sighs before finally conceding. “Fine, I’ll let it go.” He leans back further in his chair, then he glances up at me with a crooked smile. “Are you done in your bat cave, hockey boy?”

“I am. I had to make room for all the new ones you bought me.” I kiss his forehead. “Are you done?”

“Yeah, I guess we are.” He sighs. “This just feels weird, I guess.”