Page 94 of Midnight Ink

“Oh no.” I hear her footsteps behind me. “What’s going on?”

“You haven’t gone to Ian’s?”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Why the hell are you here?”

“Because I want to know if we’re all going to live happily ever after. I’m very invested in this. I get away with more when Ian’s in a good mood.” I ignore her, going to the kitchen and putting my kettle on the burner. I find a mug and grab myself a tea bag.

“You want some?”

“No.” I hear one of the bar stools at the island scrape as I set up my mug. “What’s going on, Jules?”

The tone in her voice snags my attention.

“Don’t do that.”

She blinks. “Do what?”

“I don’t know. That voice. It’s weird.”

“Weird?”

“Like you’re concerned.” She rolls her eyes. “Go back to hating me, that feels right.”

She sighs and I want manic Anna back right this second. I don’t know what to do with this. “I don’t hate you, Jules. You know that.”

“What I know is we fight, bicker, and play pranks on each other. We don’t talk, we battle.” I squeeze honey into my cup. “I can’t handle sympathy right now.”

The teapot whistles and I pour hot water into my mug. “What happened?”

I turn to her. All her teasing’s gone. I join her at the island, not meeting her eyes as I steep the bag. “Nothing,” I say softly. “Just had the best week of my life all to tell Ian I’m in love with him and have him completely freeze up on me.” I take a sip, burning my tongue.

“What did he say?”

“He said ‘I love you but.’”

“Oh, not the but.”

“A big but.” I take another sip now that I’ve burned my tastebuds. “I’m done, Anna. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Oh, Jules.”

I shake my head. “No. Nope. Call me names, do something else. I need manic Anna right now.”

“What you need is a friend.” I’m not used to this, and I’m not sure she isn’t breaking me right now.

My jaw pops. I focus on the tea bag. “I don’t know what it’s going to take,” I say softly. “If he was going to love me, he’d be in love with me by now. Right? It’s been seven years. If this were going to happen, it would. It would have.” I sigh. “There’s no room for me. He will always belong to him.”

Anna’s quiet for a moment and I know how awkward this must be. “Maddox was my best friend, my brother, my soulmate. He was everything to me, and he loved big. If he claimed you, that was it. You were his to take care of. He loved his people and he loved Ian. I don’t know what’s going on in Ian’s mind, but I refuse to believe he feels nothing for you.”

I shake my head. “He’s had all the opportunity, Grems. It’s not taking. I have to respect his feelings. I can’t force things that aren’t there. It’s just how it is.”

“Jules.” I look up at her. “You can respect him and how he feels and still feel sad. Respecting him doesn’t mean not feeling what you need to. You have every right to be upset.”

I look at her, shocked by the sincerity in this tiny chaotic tornado. “Anna, please be mean to me. I can’t handle whatever this is.”

“Asshole.”