Page 91 of Midnight Ink

My fingers slide into his hair as he drives me crazy with that wicked mouth.

“I think we need to do one thing before we leave.”

“Ungh.” My back arches. “What is that?” I moan softly.

He’s quiet and I blink through the pleasure, looking down at what he’s holding in his hand. “I mean, you haven’t played with him once since we got here.” He waves my toy around, making it flop side to side obscenely. “I think he’s feeling a little left out.”

“I’ve had a great substitute.”

Ian’s lips drop open in mock horror as he wraps his hand around the head. “Don’t let him hear you say that.” He looks at it. “He doesn’t mean it.”

I reach for my balls, squeezing, just desperate to feel something. “Fuck me, Ian.”

“Spread your ass for me.” He bites his lip, looking between my legs as I move and settle, pulling my cheeks apart for him. “Fuck, Jules.” Rubbing his fingers over my hole, he looks up at me. “You want it, huh?” Slowly he enters one finger, curling it just right and forcing a moan from my lips. I nod fast, feeling the way he touches and spreads me open.

He enters two then slips them out. “On your stomach, baby.”

I roll over, back arching, desperate for whatever he has in mind. I feel him lift from the bed, then it creaks with his weight as he returns, one foot on either side of my body. He taps one cheek. “Lift a little. Arch that beautiful back for me.” I get into position and feel his fingers smooth over my hole then slip inside. My fingers twist into the sheets. “You want two?”

I nod, not that he can see it. “Yes.”

Two enter me, thrusting gently, and he moans as if this is giving him just as much of a thrill. I want to see him, but there’s something in not knowing what’s coming next.

He slips his fingers out and I feel the cool tip of the dildo enter my body. At this angle, it slides right over where it needs to. My chest sinks into the mattress. I try to look, craning my neck with no luck. My fingers lock tight around the blanket underneath us.

He thrusts the toy while his fingers play with my rim, sending little shocks of heat through me. “Fuck, Jules. You’re so fucking sexy,” he groans.

I reach between my legs, fisting my dick faster with every thrust of the toy. Playing with it has never felt this good. “Ian, fuck me.”

He chuckles as if I’m not losing my fucking mind. “This is so fucking hot.” His hand squeezes one cheek as he fucks me faster. I’m pushing back now, fisting my leaking dick. His fingers travel over my balls, squeezing them in his hand. Pleasure tugs at my core, and I can’t think of anything but needing more. “Harder, Ian.”

He fucks me roughly with the toy, and my fingers squeeze the comforter hard. Pleasure crawls up my spine. My body hums with every soft wave of heat as he pushes me closer to the edge. My face pressed into the bed, I come hard onto the blanket below. “Fuck. Fuck yes. Ian. Yes.”

I sag against the bed and feel his warm weight sit on my lower back, his hand on my ass. The bed is softly shaking. He grips one cheek, spreading me open, and I strain to look back at him, watching his hand work himself furiously. Fuck, I want to see.

“Fuck. Fuck, Jules.” Warmth runs down my hole as he squeezes my ass hard. “Fuck,” he hisses. He gives me a light smack then leans down, and I feel his lips land over my hole, soothing me with his tongue. Fuck me, if he doesn’t stop, we’re going another round and we’ll miss our flight.

He lifts off me as I roll over, and I’m instantly rewarded with his body on mine. Cupping my face with his thumbs, he smooths along my cheekbones, a smile growing on his lips. His eyes look greener now, darker. Clearer than I’ve seen them in years. I reach out and pull him to me, kissing him slowly, aware we have to get up but I don’t want to leave this bed.

Everything I want is right here.

I just need to be brave enough to go for it.

I pull back to look at him, thumbing over his cheek. “I love you.”

His brows pull tight, his lips drop open slightly. He doesn’t say a word, but I feel it. It’s faint, but it’s there. A sudden shift in his body. Rigid where he was just pliant on top of me. Sharper than his silence is my clarity. “I um—” He shakes his head, looking away. “Listen, I just—I mean, of course I love you, but⁠—”

I nod, pulling away. “But.”

I can’t keep doing this with him. I just can’t.

I love him, but I can’t keep putting my heart through this.

“No. Jules, wait⁠—”

I get up. “We should get packed.” I find my jeans and a pair of briefs and bolt to the bathroom. Locking the door, I brace my hands on the sink, squeezing so hard I’m shocked it doesn’t crack. Embarrassment hot in my ears, I look into the mirror. I can’t do this. I press my palms to my eyes, taking several heaping breaths.

Ian can’t love me. He just can’t. Not in the ways I need.