Page 17 of Midnight Ink

I have some ideas, but I know it’s not my place. The thing is, this is where I thrive. Before I became an artist, I worked at this startup company. I helped build it into something incredible. I’m great with numbers, but I was miserable there.

I’ve always had a drive for creativity. I love art. My mother used to tell me I should pursue it, but there was no money in it, and my focus was always making her life as easy as possible. She worked so much while I was growing up, and I wanted to give her a break. Then she passed away and her wish was that I finally go after my dreams. I’ve always loved tattoos, even though I didn’t have any of my own. Once I tried it, I didn’t want to go back.

Meeting Ian was fate.

He changed my life.

Now I just want to make his a little easier. The thing about Ian is, he’s stubborn as hell, and any mention of hiring new artists or doing things differently, he shuts down. I’ve tried. Anna’s tried.

Up ahead there’s a pizza place and I have an idea.

I walk in, order a pizza, and decide to go back to Ian’s. I don’t want to be alone right now, and more than that I want to see how Ian’s doing. He’s been off since last week. I guess more off than normal. I’m really not sure what’s up with the eighths of every month. He’s never shared that with me. Every month on the eighth he goes down to the cemetery and visits Maddox.

Once my order’s up, I head down the street. It’s about a ten-minute walk, and doing that with the smell of pizza is torture. I’m so fucking hungry. I don’t think I ate much today. I had three appointments and worked straight through. I was a little nauseous after seeing Jamie get tattooed too, and didn’t have much of an appetite.

I’m not a squeamish guy, but seeing how much he was struggling really hit me.

I know he’s going to be in pain for a while.

Finally, the shop comes into view and I make my way around the building and up the back steps. I knock and wait. Shit, what if he’s asleep? Damn, I should have checked. The door opens and Ian stands there shirtless in a pair of sweats, and my eyes go right to the galaxy tattoo. It’s hard not to look at it. It’s huge, spanning across his chest and up his sternum then spilling up onto his throat. Throat tattoos scare the fuck out of me. I want one, but I don’t know. It’s one of the few places I have left.

“Julian?”

“Hey, sorry. I was hungry and wanted to know if you wanted some pizza. I haven’t eaten much today.”

“I thought you were with Elijah.” I don’t miss the way his name sounds on his tongue. Why does he seem irritated? For some reason I don’t think Ian likes him very much. I have no idea why. Elijah’s a great guy.

“Oh, no. He just wanted to talk about something quickly.”

“Talk?” His brow quirks.

My eyes narrow on him. “Do you want pizza or not?!”

“Depends.” Ian looks at me then the pizza. “Is it pepperoni?”

I shove him into his house.

Ian’s apartment is a small studio above the shop. There’s a living room area and a brick wall separating it from the bedroom. The only separate room is the bathroom off to the side. We walk into the kitchen. “You want a drink?”

“Sure.” I follow him to his fridge and watch him grab two glass bottles.

“Let’s go up to the roof. It’s nice out.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

I follow behind him, watching the way the muscles in his back move and flex. He has a giant tattoo on his back too. It looks like a devil, or maybe an angel. Its inky black body is muscled. It has no discernible features, it’s face shadowed, and the horns sprouting from its head look like antelope horns curving and twisting. The figure’s black wings spread across his back reaching his shoulders, and a giant red moon pops behind it while red drips beneath the massive form.

I assume Maddox did it. While the image is clear, it looks like it was painted with ink. A lot like the tattoo on his wrist. Even the inky galaxy on his chest has this style.

He opens the door leading to the stair access to the roof. We’ve hung out up here quite a bit after shifts. It’s warm right now. In the seventies and slowly cooling off.

I follow him to the outdoor couch he has up here and set the pizza on the table, then I open it and hand him a slice. We eat in silence and I can’t help just taking everything in.

I don’t remember at what point I realized I had these feelings for Ian. I wish I didn’t have them. It’s a brutal reality knowing that you’ll never be enough for the person you care for. Ian doesn’t talk much about Maddox, but I don’t think he’s been in a relationship since. I know I haven’t seen it.

Maybe he’s okay with that. I know there are people who are at peace never being in love again when the person they love passes. Yet there are shadows in Ian’s eyes. I don’t know if they’re from how hard he works or something deeper he’s not ready to talk about. “Jamie’s tattoo was rough.”

Ian finishes chewing and nods. “I texted him a bit ago. He didn’t respond so he’s probably passed out.” He takes another bite, thinking. “I tried to get him to do it on his ribs. It sucks, but there’s no scarring there. He wanted it on his back, though.” He shakes his head.