Page 109 of Midnight Ink

He smiles, shoving his hands in his pockets and letting me go. I didn’t bring a chair with me this time. When I come on the eighth I will. I will always come on the eighths. Those will always be his.

This is for me, though.

I walk to his site and sink down onto the grass, and I stare at his headstone while my chest tightens. “Hey, baby.” The grief hits like a sudden plummet. I don’t want to fight it anymore. It’s proof that what Maddox and I had was once in a lifetime. I loved him and always will. “It’s been so hard since you left me. Some days I don’t even know how to breathe.” My voice wavers. I glance back up the hill where Julian waits. “I tried to keep everything the same, just like we planned. I thought that was how I would honor you. Like if I didn’t move or change anything, you’d still be here with me.” My eyes burn. “It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that you’re not.

“It’s been hard. I don’t even recognize myself. I remember how much you loved me, and I know you’d be so fucking pissed if you saw how I’ve been living.” I pick at the grass. “You loved me too much for this. You’d want me to get help. To change the shop. To fall in love again.”

The wind brushes my skin.

“I met Julian three months after you died.” I swallow. “I’ve been afraid to tell you. I don’t know why.” My voice drops to a whisper. “I love him. I love him so much. He’s kind, patient, and safe. I miss being loved.”

I press my palm to the cool stone, tracing his name with my fingers. “No one will ever replace you.” That was never the goal, though. It’s not a replacement. It’s a new path I was pushed onto, and it’s taken me a while to find my way down it.

It’s new, but it feels right.

Tears slide down my cheeks. “I’m going to live for me, and I’ll carry you with me like I always do.”

I stand on shaky legs. “I’ll see you on the eighth, Madd.” A smile grows on my lips. “Those are for us. I love you.”

When I reach Jules, he doesn’t hesitate pulling me into his arms. Solid and warm. I cling to him and breathe him in, my fingers twisting into his shirt.

“I’m proud of you,” he murmurs, his mouth brushing my ear. “I love you so much.”

He pulls back enough to look at me. His crooked smile is devastating. Then he presses a kiss between my eyes. My palm lies in the center of his chest. “We better get to the shop.” I’m so excited to see the mural. Julian still has no idea about it. I’ve seen it in stages, but this last week Jamie has kicked me out of the shop completely.

“I can’t wait to see it.”

“I know it’s going to look incredible.” I smile and try not to give anything away.

We decided to take an entire month off. It was hard to let go of appointments, but thankfully most of our customers understood. We have a few artists we’re considering, and once our back room is finished, a piercer.

Once hired, our clients on the waiting list will get first choice of their artist and ten percent discount. We’re still working on hours, but Julian and I will be here Tuesday through Saturday. Sundays and Mondays are our days off. He was right, I can’t keep up the pace I have been.

There’s more to life than this, and I want to find the joy in the shop like Maddox did.

Once hired, we’ll ask our artists their preferred days, but I want a designated day for walk-ins, so we don’t have to turn so many people away. We have a few applications in mind.

Another change is Maddox’s station.

Or my new station.

His ashes will stay on a shelf next to me here. I could spread them, but I think he would want to be here and watch the shop evolve. He put his blood, sweat, and tears into this shop, and I know there’s nowhere else on earth he’d rather be than here with Anna and me.

Julian is taking my old station across from me. We have a new station coming in, and we’re currently in the process of making a room from the old storage room for our piercer, for privacy. Everything is coming together.

Now I just can’t wait to show him this.

I spot lavender hair ahead and see Anna staring across the street at Honeybean. Our feet scuff on the pavement and her head turns to us. “Took you both long enough. Jamie’s inside with Noah.”

“Where’s Amira?”

“She had to go back home, but she’s hoping you love it.” Thankfully Jamie’s friend had a few people who could come and help get this done.

We owe a lot of free tattoos.

Anna dips inside the shop. Julian tries to go inside but I stop him and shut the door, blocking it. “What’s up?”

I look at him, so happy. Happier than I ever thought I could be again. “Before we go inside, I just want to say how much I love you.”