Page 153 of Pure Recklessness

‘It’s not a waste,’ I insisted.

‘I suppose I just… Every time I’ve thought of coming here, I remember the reason I wasn’t allowed to visit in the first place,’ she said, her expression solemn.

I wanted to know why, but just like Ellie asked me to change the subject after she told me about her biological parents, I sensed that it was something upsetting, so I didn’t want to push her to open up if she wasn’t ready.

Instead, I reached across the table, took her hand in mine, then gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Ellie squeezed it back, then took a deep breath.

‘I had a sister,’ she said softly and I suppressed my surprised expression. ‘She was my parents’ biological daughter. She was two years older than me. Her name was Dorothea, which means gift of God. We used to call her Dotty, though. She was their miracle baby. My parents had tried for years to have her and after she was born, Mum couldn’t have any more kids. Dotty was the best sister anyone could ask for. So kind, sweet and funny. She gave me so much love. And she loved dinosaurs. And science. Actually, loved is an understatement. She was obsessed. She’d visited here with the school and didn’t stop raving about it. That’s why I was so excited to go too. I waited for two years. I had my place booked on the trip, but…’

I squeezed her hand tighter, encouraging her to continue.

‘A few weeks before I was due to go, Dotty was walking home from school after finishing science club and there was an accident. She was knocked over and…’ Tears welled in her eyes and she swallowed hard. ‘She… didn’t make it.’

Fuck.

Obviously, I knew how the story would end from the moment she’d said she had a sister, but hearing that she’d been killed still hit like a punch in the gut.

I leapt out of my seat, rushed to Ellie’s side and pulled her into me.

‘I’m so sorry.’ I hugged her tight. ‘I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that must’ve been for you and your family. I’m so, so sorry,’ I repeated. Ellie sobbed on my shoulder and I stroked her back in soothing circles.

As she cried, I racked my brain, desperately trying to think of what I could do to make her feel better. This sweet, kind, amazing woman had been through so much. My family meant everything to me. The thought of losing not just my parents but one of my siblings was too painful to even contemplate. Yet here she was, still pushing through life, trying to build a future in a city that was completely alien to anything she’d ever known.

I’d thought Ellie was impressive before, but now I had a newfound admiration for her. She was strong, resilient and utterly incredible.

After a few minutes, Ellie lifted her head from my shoulder, her eyes red-rimmed.

‘When the accident happened, we were all devastated. I’d lost my sister and best friend rolled into one, but it hit my parents even harder. They’d waited so long for her to arrive, then she was ripped away from them. That’s when they vowed to do whatever it took to keep me from harm. They’d lost one daughter and they didn’t want to lose another. In their minds, if Dotty hadn’t gone to school, she wouldn’t have been killed. So that was that. They decided to teach me from home and I never went to school again. I didn’t really have any friends after that. If I wanted to go anywhere, they’d insist on taking me. And that was my life right up until a few years ago.’

Jesus.

Her parents insisted on ferrying her around even up until her early twenties?

Now that she’d explained what happened, I could understand why they were overprotective, but Ellie probably felt like she was living in a prison.

‘That must have been so difficult for you,’ I said diplomatically, still stroking her back.

‘It was suffocating. I knew that wasn’t their intention. Losing both her best friend and her daughter sent Mum and also Dad into overprotective overdrive. My biological parents were apparently real adventure seekers, so they’d made my parents promise to raise me if anything happened to them, which was obviously a responsibility they took seriously. I knew their actions were driven by love and that promise to protect me, but I felt so stifled. By the time I was ready to go to uni, they said they didn’t want me to leave. They insisted I did my degree online. But I told them that I needed to start living. I needed freedom. So after a lot of arguments, we reached a compromise. They agreed to let me go to the nearest university on the condition that Dad drove me there and back.’

What a fucking nightmare.

No wonder she’d led such a sheltered life.

I wanted to say that it was insane that a university student had to be dropped off and collected like a child, but I knew that it had taken Ellie a lot to open up about this so I wanted to make her feel free to express herself without judgement.

‘And how was that?’

‘Difficult. But better. At least I was out of the house and meeting people my own age. I still didn’t really get to socialise with them outside of class unless a lecture got cancelled and I snuck off, but it was a start. And by the time I graduated, I knew I had to push for more, otherwise I’d end up stuck in the village for good. So that’s when I started applying for local jobs. And then, little by little, I grew more confident. Then eventually I told them I wanted to come to London.’

‘I bet that didn’t go well.’ I sighed.

‘They were absolutely horrified. They said I couldn’t go. So the first time, I backed down. But then a few months ago, I’d had enough. I realised I didn’t have to wait for their permission. It was my life and I had to take charge. So I told them I was going to London whether they liked it or not and that I hoped they’d give me their blessing, but if they didn’t, it wouldn’t stop me.’

‘That must’ve gone down like a lead balloon.’

‘Yep. They weren’t happy, but they saw the fire in my eyes and knew I was serious. So that’s why I’m here. And the sheltered, restrictive life I lived for so long is one of the reasons I had no idea who Sated was.’