Page 112 of More Than Just Friends

‘Incredible. I know. But we should stop. Whilst we still can. Whilst we still like each other.’

‘Where’s this coming from? I sensed you were holding back before, but this feels different. I don’t get it?’

‘Yeah. I’ve been worried about the risks for a while. But I just spoke to Trish. I was expecting her to tell me that I was worrying unnecessarily. I hoped she’d give me advice on how you and I could make things work. But instead, she warned me against crossing the line. She told me how terrible things were between her and Brian. They can’t even bear to be in the same room as each other, Noah! They hate each other! He cheated and she said she was tempted to do the same. I don’t want that for us. I want us to stay friends, forever. We shouldn’t do this. There’s too much at stake.’

A tear rolled down my cheek and my stomach tightened.

Saying that I wanted to end things with Noah before they’d even properly begun cut like a knife, but it had to be done. Short-term pain for long-term gain, right?

‘But we’re not Trish and Brian!’ Noah argued. ‘We’re us. We’ll be different.’

‘Maybe. But what if we’re not? Look what happened to me and Dale. When things imploded with him, we couldn’t stand being around each other either.’

‘Dale was a dick,’ Noah scoffed. ‘He only pretended to be your friend to get in your knickers. And you were only mates for what, two years before you got together? We’ve known each other for more than two decades.’

‘Exactly! There’s too much for us to lose. Neither of us can know for sure if it’ll work out. No one gets together with someone expecting they’ll break up. This is serious.’

‘Listen.’ Noah placed his hands on my shoulders. ‘I know it’s serious. Believe me. And I understand your concerns. I really do. But I have to be honest with you, Ali. I can’t go back to being just friends. Not now. Not after these past few days. Not after the time we’ve spent together. The things we’ve done. The things we’ve said. I’m too far gone.’

His words landed like a gut punch.

My stomach tensed then plummeted a million metres below the earth.

Instead of focusing on the fact that Noah had fallen for me, which should’ve been a wonderful feeling, all I could think about was him saying that if we didn’t stay together romantically, we couldn’t be friends any more.

My greatest fear was about to come to life.

‘You can’t mean that!’ I said, desperation filling my voice. ‘We have to find a way back. It’s not too late. You only feel like you’ve fallen hard for me because we’re at this hotel. Everything feels extra special and more intense because we’re on holiday. Because we’re surrounded by all of this opulence. But what about when we’re in the real world and you’ve left the toilet seat up for the hundredth time despite me asking you not to?’

‘You know I don’t do that.’ He flashed a half smile, but we both knew that now wasn’t a time to attempt humour.

‘It’s just an example! You’ll get annoyed about my hairs clogging up the shower plughole or me taking too long in the bathroom and we’ll end up hating each other. You know I care for you, Noah, but⁠—’

‘Care for me?’ He laughed. ‘That’s how you feel? Ali, I fucking love you. Not because of this trip or this fancy hotel. I’ve always loved you. I moved to the other side of London because of it.’

‘Wait. What?’ My jaw flopped open. ‘You love me. Wow. I…’

My brain scrambled.

Obviously, I knew Noah loved me platonically. I’d always loved him like that too. But I knew from his expression that he was talking about a different kind of love.

The romantic, everlasting kind.

This was huge.

This was beyond amazing.

But it was also overwhelming.

I tried and failed to process the enormity of his declaration. Then I remembered the other part of what he’d just said.

‘I… you…’ I stuttered. ‘You moved away because you loved me? That makes no sense.’

‘I didn’t have a choice. You clearly weren’t interested in starting anything romantic with me and I couldn’t stand to see you dating other men when I knew how much I wanted to be with you. I hoped that moving away would help me suppress my feelings and forget about you. That’s why I avoided meeting up and video calls, but it didn’t help.’

Whoa.

I blinked several times.