Page 19 of Homicide in Water Creek

Lying her head back on her knees, a fresh wave of sobs racked her body as Jacks gave in to whatever horror she held in her heart. He’d heard plenty of women cry over the years, but hearing the pain rip from her throat was more than his heart could take. He hadn’t been here the last time she was hurt, but he was here now. He wasn’t going to let her go through this alone. This was about more than what had happened in the living room just now. This was about the pain in her soul that no one had ever eased. This was about everything in her life since the day she was born that had been unjust and cruel.

“Jacks, honey.” King rested his hand on her back, glad that she didn’t shrink away. Then he realized she didn’t even respond. It was as if she were in another world where only pain and unfairness existed.

He stood and scooped her up, cradling her against him to warm her. She was still chilled, even wrapped in the blanket, which told him she hadn’t fully warmed up from being out earlier. He sat on the bed, grateful he’d already taken his boots off, and slid under the other blanket. He leaned against the headboard, keeping her loosely tucked against him so she wouldn’t get scared again. He brought the second blanket up and wrapped it around her, holding it in place with his arms around her back.

“I got you,” he promised as he kissed the top of her head. “You’re not alone.”

She shuddered, her thin body barely visible in his arms. She was waif-thin, but so damn strong. She didn’t see it, though. She didn’t see that what she’d been through was more than most people ever faced, let alone that she’d thrived through it all. He rocked her gently until she relaxed a fraction in his arms. Her tears had stopped, her sobbing had settled into staccato inhales, and her head rested under his chin, the most gut-clenching sign of trust he didn’t deserve. King had never experienced this level of soul-baring with another human being. He may not deserve her trust, but he vowed not to break it again.

“I’m still vulnerable,” she whispered. “I always have been. I’ve been a charity case all my life, King. I don’t want to be yours, too.”

Tightening his arms around her, he shook his head. “No, you’re not a charity case. Are you kidding me? You’re the reason this ranch stays alive, and we all know it. You pull more than your own weight here. Everyone in town sees it. When you arrived in Water Creek, it was because of an obligation your granddaddy felt, but that wasn’t your fault. What you’ve done since then has proven you’re a woman of conviction and devotion. Are you vulnerable? Yes, you are, as vulnerable as they get, and it scares the crap out of me to think about you here alone. This,” he grasped the brace that ran the full length of her leg, with hinges at the ankle and knee, “makes you vulnerable, but not helpless. I wish I could rewind this night and not put you in a headlock out there. That was so stupid,” he hissed, his head knocking against the back of the wooden headboard. “I was desperate to get you to see reason. I’m sorry. I’ll say it a thousand times. I shouldn’t have done that. I wasn’t going to hurt you.”

Jacks’s hand snaked from the blanket to rest against his chest, as though she were comforting him. “I knew you weren’t trying to hurt me, King. Instinct just took over to get me out of a situation my head read as dangerous. Stop apologizing.”

“I won’t stop apologizing. Not when I know I hurt you. You were cowering in a corner, crying. Don’t try to tell me I didn’t cause you pain.”

Pushing the hair from her face, she grabbed a tissue from the box tucked inside the bookcase headboard, wiping her eyes and nose. “You weren’t the reason I was cowering in the corner. You were the final straw. I guess I’ve known for a while, but what happened out there was the nail in my coffin. I have to leave this ranch and start a new life.”

“No.” King tucked Jacks’s hair back behind her ears and lightly held her chin. “No, you don’t need to leave. You need to stay. We can work this out.”

“I spent the afternoon trying to figure out how.” Her voice broke, and her head fell back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her again and offered the comfort she sought.

“Did you figure it out?”

“No,” she said with a sigh. “I kept coming back to the fact that my entire life had been dictated and controlled by two men I looked up to and loved. Men I thought loved me back.”

“I understand the level of suckage involved in that,” he agreed. “I wish I could rewind the clock and discover their deception before I left town. I could have changed so much if I had just known.”

“You needed to go, King. You had to find yourself. I wouldn’t have wanted you to stay and then, for the rest of your life, resent not going. We were never destined to be together. They just made sure of that.”

“How do you know?” he asked, his head tipping to the left. “How do you know we wouldn’t have been, couldn’t be, something?”

She shrugged, as if that were her answer.

“Jacks,” he said, rubbing her shoulder. “How do you know?”

She climbed off his lap and sat on the bed, her need to put space between them clear. “It’s like they said. I was an unknown, and you had potential.”

“That’s bullshit. You know it. You were almost an adult, and you had yourself figured out.”

Jacks shook her finger at him. “I thought I had myself figured out, but clearly, I was wrong. I spent years sleeping with a man I didn’t care about to avoid putting myself out there with anyone else. Not exactly mature, King.”

“Not exactly unusual either,” he volleyed.

“I’m twenty-eight and haven’t done anything beyond working on my granddaddy’s ranch. Can’t say that makes me a super successful woman.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know about that. This ranch is still above water because of you. There’s also a barn full of horses, your horses. I know you’re waiting for something. What is it, Jacks?”

Shaking her head, she looked up at the ceiling. “Nothing. It’s not important. You have to get back to the station. You said it yourself. You have a murder to solve and Chinos to ferret out.”

She was shutting this down. The moment she climbed off his lap, she threw up a shield and had no intention of lowering it again, at least not tonight. King couldn’t blame her. Today had been stressful. He could be patient, but at some point, she would tell him all her little and not-so-little secrets. Then they’d finally be on a level playing field.

“I’ll walk you to your granddaddy’s, then I’ll head back to the station,” he said, pushing himself up off her bed. King would have preferred to stay, wanting more of both her and her bed, but now was not the right time. Soon, but not tonight.

“I’m not going to the ranch house,” she said again. “You can forget it.”

He put his hand on his hip after slinging his gun belt around his waist again. “Jacks—”