Page 148 of Aviatrix

“Intense,” Eli finishes.

“I don’t even know what to think,” I say.

He flips my hand over and stares at the diamond.

He looks haunted. Worn down by too many battles.

And for a split second, I wonder if love is enough to save us.

THIRTY-TWO

A MISSION I WANT TO SURVIVE

Gloved hands raised, I bounce lightly on the mat.

Eli throws a punch. I duck and counter, landing a solid hit to his bare stomach.

He lets out a laugh, stumbling back. “You’re getting better.”

I scoff. “No. I’m just that angry.”

Eli nods, bringing his gloves back up beneath his chin. “What are you angry about, Quay?”

Sweat slides down my spine, soaking the back of my sports bra. I breathe in, steady and slow.

“Everything.”

“Name them,” he says. “One punch at a time.”

I inhale sharply and throw a jab. “VAL!”

“You think they gambled your life on her?” he asks, sidestepping with ease.

“I’m mad that everyone is lying to me about her,” I fire back, arms dropping to my sides. “She could’ve been dangerous, and—”

“She’s not,” Eli says firmly. “You know she’s not. Not to you.”

“But they were willing to risk my life—my trust, my loyalty—on a ship no one really understands.”

“That’s valid, Quay.” He lifts one shoulder, and I notice the way his stomach muscles flex. I swallow hard. “They should’ve been honest. They should’ve asked for your help. They never should’ve kept this from you.”

Eli steps forward, resting a gloved hand on my shoulder. I glance up at him.

“I’m so mad,” I whisper.

“Me too.”

“I hate that all the people I trusted have done nothing but disappoint me.”

Eli’s tone softens. “Have I disappointed you?”

Has he disappointed me?

Maybe when he left me the first time. But I understand that better now. He saw something I couldn’t. Our careers were never going to make it easy. We both would’ve ended up more hurt if we’d tried to force it.

“The only thing that’s ever disappointed me,” I say quietly as I memorize the way his green irises catch the golden light overhead, “is how little time we get together.”

His shoulders fall forward. His whole body reacts, like he’s been holding his breath for eight years.