Page 35 of Until I’m Safe in Your Arms

“How were you allowed to know such things, Emma?” Alex whispered, as if someone might hear him. “Proper young ladies are sheltered from anything having to do with marital congress until after they are married.”

“My aunt was absorbed with the older women. She never knew anything about it.” Thank goodness. Aunt Washer would have surely had a conniption. “The Indian women in the zenana may or may not have known. If they did, they would have thought she was doing me a favor.” Emma had doubted they knew at the time. They hadn’t seemed interested in her at all. And Lakshmi was a wife and considered a woman. What she told the English girl was no concern of theirs.

“So why did you think of this, splitting the bamboo today, love?” His voice had become softer, cajoling.

“Because I wanted to ‘find favor’ with my husband.” She ran her hand down his naked side, making him shiver. “Did I find favor with you, my love?”

He pulled her to him and crushed her to his chest. “You have always found favor with me, my darling. Never, ever doubt that.”

Emma gloried in his embrace, then gently pulled herself away. “I also did it to make you realize all the things I can do for you—and to you—that the army can never do.”

He stiffened and shot a hurt look at her through narrowed eyes.

“Are you willing to give up all this joy, all our passion, when you need not?” Emma sat up, pulling the covers up over her. “If you resign your commission, I have no doubt that, with your skills and intelligence, you can find other employment that will be just as satisfying as serving queen and country. You have friends and relations who would be eager to help you in any way they can. Won’t you consider asking them to help us?”

Alex fell back on the bed, arm flung over his face. “You must give me some time, Emma. This is not a decision I can make lightly.”

“I understand, my dear. You are torn between two duties. One to the only life you’ve ever known, the other to your life yet to come.” Emma spoke softly. Her husband could not be driven to make this choice. He needed to come to it on his own. “I shall be disappointed if you choose to stay your present course, but I will love you no matter what decision you reach.”

Emma lay back on the bed, pulling the covers up to her chin against the sudden chill in the room. She’d done her best to make Alex see his choices clearly, to realize his life with her would be the better course for both of them. Now all she could do was pray he made the best decision for them both.

Chapter Thirteen

A week after being thoroughly seduced by his wife, Alex strolled into Langham’s looking for his Uncle Jack. Still unsure of the decision he needed to make, and with time running out rapidly—today was the sixteenth of November and the regiment’s sail date had been set as December the twelfth—Alex had finally decided he needed another, non-military opinion and would seek out his uncle. During the past week, he’d spoken with several of the married officers, including Mac, who was in the throes of packing up his household.

“Go to India by all means, Bancroft.” His friend stretched out in a chair at headquarters, looking as pleased as a cat with cream on its whiskers. “That’s your ticket to the rise in rank, isn’t it? If your wife declines to go, what can you do? You don’t want to force her,” he winked, “not when I hear there are all manner of ladies in the Orient with whom you can dip your wick.”

Mac got a dreamy look on his face. “Exotic women who…know things.”

Alex had turned away, afraid his face would betray the fact his wife knew things as well. He needn’t sail halfway around the world to find adventure in another woman’s arms. Not when he had Emma in his bed right here. What he needed badly was someone to help him rationalize the monumental decision to resign his commission. He wouldn’t find that at headquarters. Unfortunately, both positions had merits and drawbacks. But which one would lead to his ultimate happiness? That was why he wanted to consult his uncle.

A roar went up, bringing Alex back to the present. Uncle Jack was currently engaged in a match with a much younger opponent, but despite the difference in both age and size, his uncle was giving the man a drubbing. The crowd had responded to a crisp uppercut Jack had given his adversary and Alex rubbed his chin in sympathy. He’d been in that chap’s boots before.

“Alex.”

He turned to find his cousin Julius standing to the side, his little black book in hand. With a grin spreading over his face, Alex strode over to him. “Julius, well met. Are you here to box?”

“Never in this lifetime.” His cousin looked appalled. “I’m here to put wagers on your uncle from Francis, Yule, and Tom. The others couldn’t be reached.” Julius raised a brow. “Are you boxing with him today?”

“God forbid, Jules. The man’s a powerhouse. Pounds me to dust every time I face him in the ring. No, I just need to speak to him about a personal matter.” Alex hesitated. Julius, while he might be part of Grandfather’s wager, wouldn’t have reason to steer him wrong if he asked his opinion. “I could use your advice as well, cousin.”

Julius put away his book and pencil and faced Alex. “You now have my attention.”

“My regiment is shipping out to India on the twelfth of next month. My wife cannot go back there for personal reasons you don’t need to know. But trust me, they are valid. This means we will be parted for five very long years. The silver lining is I’ll be given a promotion to major that’s been a long time coming, with its attendant increase in pay. The only alternative I have would be to resign my commission, stay in England, and seek new employment, for which I have not trained.”

Fixing him with a stern eye, Julius shook his head. “So you have to choose between the army or your wife.” He scoffed disgustedly. “Choose your wife, Alex. For God’s sake, it shouldn’t have been a choice at all. You can’t leave her, you just married the woman. Employment can be had anywhere. Hell, you can come be my land agent. I need to fire my current one. He’s half up the pole most days. Who knows what he’s missing in his alcoholic fog?”

“I haven’t the first idea about estate management, Jules.” Alex shook his head. “Isn’t there something else a gentleman can do?”

“Do you have a taste for either the law or medicine? I daresay the Church is out.”

“You’d say correctly. None of those professions sound remotely like anything I would wish to do for the rest of my life. I’d do better to hold prize fights and wager on them for a living.” He motioned to his uncle, who’d just sent his opponent to the ring’s floor.

Uncle Jack offered the man a hand, helped him up, then strode over to the corner where Alex and Julius stood. He leaned over the rope. “What did I hear you say? There’s to be a wager?”

When Alex had finally apprised his uncle of what was actually going on, the older man shook his head and made a sound of disgust. “Come up into this ring this minute so I can knock some sense into you, nephew.”

Alex winced. His uncle’s bellow could be heard throughout the room.