Page 89 of Not Just for Christmas

Dylan tilted his head, his eyes fixed on mine. ‘Are you sure?’

I forced a smile, nodded. ‘Absolutely.’

He sighed, shaking his head. ‘OK.’

‘Glad that’s settled,’ Will said, laughing. ‘And now some exciting news …’

I got up to leave, I needed to get some sleep. It was already late, already Jack’s anniversary. And I’d got the lifeboat launch to get through too. Without Dylan.

‘Wait a second.’ Dylan put up a hand. ‘Please.’

‘So listen, you are going to love this.’ Will was bubbling over with excitement. ‘They want you as head judge on a new TV show. Star Quality US. Major network. Audience of millions.’

‘Wow.’ Dylan’s jaw fell open.

‘I know, man!’ Will sounded euphoric. ‘Recording starts in California in April. The money is insane, and the spin-offs could be incredible.’

Dylan stared at me wide-eyed. I was happy for him, but this just confirmed what I already knew. He and I didn’t make sense, our lives weren’t compatible.

‘I’m not sure about this,’ he told his agent.

‘Funny guy.’ Will hooted with laughter. ‘I’ve already agreed on your behalf in principle, this is the best deal I’ve done all year.’

‘Goodnight.’ I crossed the room towards the door, touching his arm lightly as I passed.

‘Will, I’ll ring you back tomorrow.’ He ended the call abruptly and caught hold of my hand. ‘Hey, can we talk?’

I slowly slid my hand from his. ‘I’m tired. We’ve both got busy days tomorrow.’

‘You didn’t answer my question from earlier?’ He took a breath, his eyes scanning mine. ‘Do you want me here?’

I felt the throb of emotion in my throat, but I was determined not to cry as I held his gaze.

‘I want you to go to London tomorrow, and I want you to come back in time for Christmas.’

‘And after that?’ he murmured, taking a step closer until I could feel his breath on my cheek.

‘I don’t want you here.’ I swallowed hard and shook my head. ‘There can be no us. I’m sorry.’

The pain on his face made my heart ache with guilt. I turned and slipped from the room, before he saw the tears which I couldn’t hold back any longer. Loving Dylan was never going to work, for many, many reasons. Maybe this was for the best, but right now it felt awful, and worst of all, I’d done serious damage to our beautiful friendship.

Chapter 37

‘Late night, was it?’ Caroline smirked as she handed me a cup of strong coffee as per my request. I’d come to collect Sam and hadn’t stopped yawning. ‘Glad to see you made the most of your childfree night.’

Tilly and Sam were running around outside in the children’s play area at The Otter, and we took our drinks outside to keep an eye on them.

‘Late, yes, eventful, also yes, but not in a good way,’ I said darkly. ‘I think I might just have stuffed up Christmas, not to mention upset one of my oldest friends.’

‘Oh dear,’ she winced, reaching into her pocket for a packet of chocolate buttons. ‘These were for the kids, but I think your need might be greater.’

I held out my hand, and she shook several buttons into it.

We sat down at a bench and pulled our coats around us for warmth and while the kids played and Caroline sipped her coffee, I brought her up to speed on the first part of yesterday evening. How he’d coaxed me into opening up to him about Jack’s accident and then he’d persuaded me to talk him through my pie-in-the-sky ideas for holiday cottages.

‘Well played, Dylan!’ She shook more chocolate buttons into my hand. ‘I’m totally on his side, you’d be brilliant at that. This is just what you need, an exciting new project to make you look forwards instead of backwards.’

I opened my mouth to argue, but thought better of it. Mine and Sam’s future on the farm wasn’t the most pressing thing on my mind right now. ‘The problems started later, at bedtime.’