Page 111 of Somewhere Only We Know

‘I can sort that out with a quick phone call,’ he continued. ‘I don’t want to leave you yet, I’ve still got loads more questions. But if you feel uncomfortable answering them, let me know.’

I was too wound up to eat, but I didn’t want him to leave yet either.

‘For months after the accident, I could hardly bring myself to say her name. Even now, whenever I talk about her in the past tense I feel an anxiety in me like a low buzz. But this is different; you have a right to know everything about her. It feels good to share her stories with you. And …’ I paused. ‘Thank you for not being angry.’

‘I’m angry with the guy who’s responsible for causing her accident. I’m not sure I’d be able to keep my temper if I was to find myself down a dark alley with him.’ He tensed his jaw. ‘But not with you. How could I be? It sounds like you and she had an incredible bond.’

I smiled wistfully. ‘We did. I was her North Star, her constant. Even when she was a teenager and she would throw me a look of pure contempt for setting a perfectly normal boundary, she still knew I’d be there, loving her unconditionally. I was her place of safety and I loved it.’

‘I bet you were a great mom.’

‘Am,’ I corrected him. ‘I still am her mother.’

‘Oh Maggie.’ He looked stricken at his error and pulled me into his arms. ‘Of course you are.’

I leaned into him, savouring the feel of his hands rubbing my back. I rested my cheek on his chest. I reached my arms around him, the cotton of his T-shirt soft, the muscles in his back taut and firm. The scent of his aftershave teased my nostrils. He didn’t smell as I remembered, but my body still curved into his as it once had.

With a flash of alarm, I realised what I was doing. He’d literally just told me that someone was waiting for him at home. I jerked away, embarrassed by my own response to him.

‘I’ll leave you to make your call in private,’ I said, hurriedly. I collected the tea things and took them inside.

He joined me a minute later.

‘Okay, that’s all sorted. Ready when you are.’ He tucked his phone in his pocket.

He wasn’t free, that was clear, but he was all mine for the next couple of hours, and that was much more than I could have dreamed of when I’d woken up this morning.

‘Come on then,’ I grinned, beckoning him in so I could lock up. ‘Let’s revisit our nasi goreng era.’

It was dusk and the streets were busy with tourists and ticket touts drumming up business for the nightly traditional dance show at Ubud Palace. We walked side by side, his hand sometimes reaching to my back as we negotiated people and scooters and stray dogs.

‘This is weird, isn’t it?’ he said, directing me into a side street. ‘You and me, out on the town again after all these years.’

‘Weird in a good way I hope,’ I teased, raising an eyebrow.

‘In a very good way,’ he replied. ‘So, do you mind if I ask you more about Brontë?’

I smiled up at him under the streetlight, watching shadows play across his face. ‘Of course not.’

‘Okay, what were some of her favourite things?’

‘That’s easy,’ I said. ‘Art, especially drawing, which you’ll see tomorrow. Sushi; she loved sushi.’

‘What about music?’

‘All sorts. Everything from Abba to country and western.’

He grinned. ‘Now we’re getting somewhere. A country girl, huh?’

‘Yes, like you!’ I’d forgotten that about Jackson, how much he’d loved his country music. So many moments, so many memories were coming back to me by being close to him again. This felt like a dream. I reached out and touched his arm to reassure myself that this was real, that I was here with him. Wordlessly he took my hand and our fingers found their groove just as they had all those years ago, and we continued along the narrow path in silence. There was so much still to learn about each other, so many gaps to fill in about our lives since the summer we met.

But tonight was about us, our past and the beautiful girl we had created together. Tomorrow was another day. The future could wait for a few delicious hours.

Chapter 41

Bali

The next morning, I was up and raring to start the day after the best night’s sleep I could remember for months. Today was going to be huge and I was excited, nervous and terrified. Jackson would be arriving in a couple of hours and I couldn’t wait.