Page 93 of A Merry Little Christmas

‘I think you’d be more likely to get a bill for steam cleaning the pool than a life membership if you did that.’

Merry gave a snort.

‘Hey. I’ve missed you very much,’ said Nell.

‘Same,’ Merry smiled sadly. ‘But we’re here now.’

Nell squeezed her friend’s hand. ‘We are. Let’s try to enjoy ourselves.’

‘We should see who supplies their candles,’ whispered Merry, sniffing a lit three-wick candle as they walked by one on a display table. ‘The perfume of these are not a patch on ours.’

Nell winced; that was something else they needed to address. Did she really want to leave Merry and Bright for good? Would Merry even want her back? She’d abandoned Merry right before her baby was due, on the day that her father had died, and she’d only been back to the shop once to see Woody and flick through the post for anything important. She really was the worst of business partners, let alone friends.

‘Mine, I mean.’ Merry caught her eye. ‘Sorry, I forgot for a moment.’

‘Don’t apologise,’ Nell muttered, feeling wretched. ‘It’s me who should be doing that.’

Bernice showed them into the changing rooms and left them to enjoy their day.

While Merry disappeared off to the loo, Nell found them a free locker each and began to undress, smiling at two women who looked as if they’d just arrived too.

‘I love Christmas,’ said one. ‘I put my tree up straight after Bonfire Night and leave it up until the end of January, I think we need a bit of sparkle after Christmas, cheer us all up on the dark nights when we’re too poor to go out.’

‘I know what cheers Paul up after Christmas,’ said the other with a snigger. ‘It’s no coincidence that both of our kids were born in the ninth month of the year.’

‘Guess what.’ Her friend beamed. ‘We’re going to start trying in spring. So this time next year, I could be a mum.’

‘Amazing!’ said the other. ‘I’m so happy for you. And if you hurry up, yours won’t be much younger than my Milly.’

‘How cool would that be!’

Both women squealed and threw arms around each other in celebration. Nell couldn’t bear it. She picked up her things and moved to the other end of the changing room. This time last year, she’d thought she might be a mum by now too. But as it was, she wasn’t even sure if she was still a wife.

She thought again about how happy she and Olek had been last year, and how quickly it had all gone wrong.

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t keep up her brave face any longer. She sank down onto one of the wooden benches lining the changing room and started to cry.

‘Come on,’ said Merry softly, holding out Nell’s gown for her to slip her arms into. ‘Time to find those cinnamon buns. And if you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen.’

Ten minutes later, they’d found a cosy sofa and were sitting toe to toe, sipping tea. And while they demolished pastries as large as their heads, Nell told Merry everything.

‘So not only are we dealing with the disappointment of not being able to have children together, but Olek is having to reframe his relationship with the boy he’d always thought was his son. He adores Max and Max idolises his dad.’ Nell dabbed at her tears. ‘Olek, I mean. Yvonna has admitted that she was having an affair with Viktor when Max was conceived.’

Merry groaned. ‘And I made it worse by blabbing to Olek about your termination.’

Nell lifted one shoulder. ‘That was just one lie among many. I’m not sure he’ll ever forgive me.’

‘He will,’ Merry promised. ‘He’s hurting right now, but he loves you. Give him time.’

Nell looked at her friend through eyes full of tears. ‘I’m not so sure. I’d been so looking forward to Christmas. Max has got his big football game in Liverpool tomorrow, Irena and Gienek will be preparing their Christmas Eve feast. Olek and I should have been hanging our stockings by the fireplace and then trying to fill each other’s without being spotted. Christmas was supposed to have been all about family and traditions, and spending quality time with the ones I love the most. And now … goodness knows what’s going to happen. No baby, no family and possibly no Olek.’

‘It will all work out,’ said Merry, firmly. ‘I really believe that. For you, for Olek, for Max … You’ve got a lot of love in your family and love is stronger than anything.’

‘Do you think?’ Nell blew her nose on her napkin and scrunched it up on her plate.

‘I do. And …’ She paused, chewing her lip. ‘This might not be the right time to say this, but I think, given my circumstances—’

‘Because you’re pregnant?’ Nell did her best to hide her envy, but obviously didn’t quite manage it.