Page 63 of A Merry Little Christmas

‘That’s not the point, Merry. The point is that she told him that I’m … that I can’t …’ He stared down at his feet and shook his head. ‘Never mind. I’m sorry, this isn’t your problem. And you have bigger things on your mind. You have my sincere condolences for the loss of your father, may he rest in peace.’

‘Thank you. I’d better get home.’ She turned to go. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve spoken out of turn. You’ll tell Nell for me, won’t you, about my dad?’

Olek seemed to deliberate over his next words. ‘If I see her before you, then yes, of course. Goodbye, Merry. Take good care of that baby of yours.’

‘I will.’ There was something so melancholy in his tone that she lingered on the path, unsure as to whether to probe further, but he smiled sadly and closed the door.

Merry wished now that she hadn’t come and had gone straight home with Cole. She had a feeling that she might have just made things worse for the couple, and not better.

So much damage could be done simply by not telling the one you love how you felt, she mused. And she was just as guilty of that as Nell. She thought about all the things she’d been keeping locked up inside her over the past few weeks: her lack of confidence about becoming a mother, her anxiety about losing her sense of self once the baby arrived. Cole needed to know or else how could he support her? Now, with a funeral to organise and a baby only weeks away from arriving, it was time to loosen her grip on all the reins and let someone else in.

She took out her own phone and sent Cole a quick message before setting off.

When I get home, can we talk?

Gladly. Candlelit bath for two?

Yes please, but don’t you mean three?

Of course, yes!! All three of us! X x (The big kiss is for you and the little one for the baby)

I’m on my way, I love you xxx

Chapter 23

Merry

In the bathroom at Holly Cottage, Merry slipped her robe off her shoulders and Cole hung it on the heated towel rail.

‘So it will be nice and warm for you after your bath.’ He tested the temperature of the water with his hand and turned on the hot tap.

‘You think of everything.’ She stepped as close to him as she could before her tummy got in the way.

He’d already helped her out of her dress and socks and into the robe. Normally, she’d insist on managing by herself, but tonight she didn’t have the energy.

‘I’m thinking of you, darling.’ His gaze was solemn. ‘Despite what you might think, and despite the fact I’m sometimes terrible at showing it, I always think of you. And I’m sorry for making you think that I’m only concerned about the baby.’

‘Oh, Cole.’ She rested her head on his chest. ‘I’m so embarrassed about losing my temper in the shop. I’m sorry for what I said about the baby.’ She stroked her bump gently. ‘And I apologise to you too, little one, for calling you the bloody baby. I didn’t mean it. I love you.’

‘No need to apologise for anything. It’s easy for me to give orders and remind you not to do too much. But if it was the other way around, I’d find it impossible to put my feet up. You know what a terrible patient I am.’

Cole had been properly ill only once since she’d known him, and he’d morphed into a cross between an overtired child and a starving bear. He’d injured his knee skiing and for an active man, that had been akin to a stint in solitary confinement.

‘It’ll be even harder to take it easier now that Dad …’ A lump formed in her throat. She was going to miss having a parent in her life, especially now that she was about to be one herself. She’d gone from being the younger generation to about to become the oldest and it was quite a tough lesson in mortality. ‘I’m so sad about my dad.’

‘I know, darling, I know.’ Cole stroked her hair and caressed the back of her neck. ‘But you were there for him in his last moments and your presence is the best gift you can ever give someone you love.’

She nodded, swallowing her tears. ‘And Emily was there too, even if she was only on a screen. I’m sure he’ll have been able to hear her voice.’

‘He was a lucky man to have two such wonderful daughters.’

They stayed like that for a few more moments, Merry relishing the comfort and steadiness of his body against hers, until her back started to ache from holding herself still.

The steam from the bath was mixing with the aroma from a Merry and Bright candle and the entire bathroom smelled amazing.

‘Rose and Peony, I notice?’ Merry inclined her head, impressed. ‘Nice choice. I’d have thought you’d have gone for Mistletoe Kiss.’

He slid his arms around her waist, resting his hands on her bottom. ‘I do have a soft spot for that one, seeing as I was your muse.’