Page 73 of The Sunrise Sisterhood

‘Sorry, I …’ she stuttered. ‘I was miles away.’

‘It’s OK.’ Marta knelt beside her, guiding her body into position. ‘Breathing in positive energy, breathing out all that no longer serves you,’ Marta intoned to the class.

What no longer served her? This was tough. Skye had thought the hardest bit was going to be keeping up with all the different positions. She wasn’t expecting all this introspection. She looked around the group. There was a serenity to them all, a sense of peace and of unity. They even all seemed to be breathing in unison. She shut her eyes and focused.

Marta was back at the front of the group. ‘Let’s take in a few more deep breaths, inhaling as we reach our hands to the sky. Exhale as we bring them down to the ground. Let’s make today’s practice a celebration, focus on the good, on what we’ve achieved this week. On what we are proud of about ourselves. Imagine you are your own best friend. Congratulate yourself on something you’re proud of.’

And then the class was on its feet and there seemed to be some sort of routine they all knew. Down dog, step forward, warrior two, forward fold, tabletop, mountain pose … or something like that; Skye wasn’t too sure about the names of everything, she was concentrating on keeping up with them all. Considering she hadn’t moved off her towel for twenty minutes, this was quite hard work. She was sweating and out of breath.

‘Transfer the weight onto your hands,’ Marta called.

Skye’s mind crept back to Clare. She wouldn’t be doing yoga any time soon. Last night, once the baby had been bathed and changed, Skye had helped Clare get ready for bed. And then she’d lowered Ivy slowly down into Clare’s waiting good arm. She’d seen hundreds of women breastfeed their babies before. But to see her own sister … it had felt like such an intimate moment. It hit her suddenly now: Clare couldn’t have done it without her. For the first time in their lives, Skye was going to be able to do things for her that Clare could not. Not that Skye was taking pleasure from that, but she, the flaky non-achiever, who’d so far failed at life, was going to be the one to step up. And that felt good.

Congratulate yourself on something you’re proud of.

And there it was. Yesterday, Skye had held everything together. She’d taken control of a spiralling situation. Skye had coped with their biggest event so far, carrying on and working through it, while Liz had got steadily drunk. Then Clare had broken her arm and, even though the sight of it had been grotesque and she’d felt faint herself, Skye had climbed into a strange car and driven them to hospital. She’d looked after her niece for the first time ever, which she’d loved. And she’d got Clare and Ivy home and into bed. Small things, all of them. But she’d proved to them and herself that she was far more capable than they gave her credit for. And as temporary as it might be, Clare – stubborn, defensive, fiercely independent Clare – had needed her. For the first time since arriving back in England, Skye felt proud of herself.

Congratulations, Skye Marriott. Her family needed her and were going to need her for the foreseeable future.

‘Back to downward dog now. Pedal through the feet, stretch those calves, gently. That’s it, good.’ Marta was moving around the group, assisting, guiding, encouraging. She was with the woman next to Skye now, trying to get her to step her feet in closer to her hands. Her downward dog was like a neatly inverted V, Skye noticed, legs and arms perfectly straight. Her own was more like a wonky picnic table.

‘Keep the legs strong, push through the heels.’

Her hands were beginning to ache in this position. Most of the dogs she knew liked to be on their backs so you could tickle their tummies. She’d be good at that, flipping over and offering up her soft underbelly. She felt another giggle threaten to work its way out and tensed her stomach, not wanting to get told off again.

She felt a hand on her upper spine, pushing her towards the earth. ‘Relax your head,’ Marta was telling her, ‘let it fall between your arms. That’s better.’

Skye closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trusting her body to Marta’s guidance.

‘Push your hips backwards, straighten out your spine. Can you feel the difference?’

‘Yes.’ Skye’s voice trembled. ‘I’m still really stiff, but that’s much better.’

Marta moved away and Skye collapsed onto her knees. So much for relaxation; this was a full-body workout.

‘It is time for shavasana. Get yourselves comfortable, maybe put another layer on as we’re going to be lying down.’

Thank heavens for that. Skye pulled her hoodie back on and lay down. She closed her eyes and let her spine mould itself into the sand beneath her; her fingers uncurled, her feet fell open and her body felt soft.

‘What does your body need? The more we listen to our bodies, the more we can support not just others, but ourselves. To show up for others, we must first show up for ourselves. Caring begins with you. Invite kindness in. Are you listening to your body, your heart? You already hold all the wisdom you need, so listen deeply. Give yourself permission to ask for what you want.’

Skye focused on her breathing and did her best to listen deeply. Marta made it sound so easy. But the truth was that she couldn’t ask for what she wanted, because she didn’t know what that was. She’d been back in the UK for several weeks, yet she was no closer to making the decision that Jesse needed from her. Or maybe she had made it, and she just wasn’t ready to admit it.

‘When you are ready, roll onto your side, come up to a seated position …’

Two minutes later, Marta had wished everyone namaste and the class was over. People were already beginning to drift away.

‘Did you enjoy that?’ said the woman next to her, shaking the sand from her towel.

‘Sort of,’ said Skye. ‘Although I was terrible at it, except for the lying down bit at the end.’

‘It gets easier, I promise.’ The woman smiled. ‘See you at the next class?’

‘Probably.’ Skye felt someone’s gaze on her and looked across the beach to find Marta waving at her. ‘It’s a great way to start the day.’

And a great way to get to know Marta better too.

Chapter Twenty-One