Page 64 of The Sunrise Sisterhood

Liz wrinkled her nose. ‘Not for me.’

Clare chuckled. ‘Me neither. How about something energetic instead. Like … I dunno—’

‘Exercise?’ Liz pulled a face.

‘Sex?’ Skye blurted out.

Liz was sceptical. ‘Would that stop me drinking?’

Skye blushed. ‘Don’t ask me, I don’t do much of either.’

‘Well, it stopped me for a whole nine months.’ Clare nodded at her daughter.

‘Sex it is then,’ said Liz.

‘So, that’s sorted,’ said Clare. ‘Now, bedtime for Ivy and probably me too. And much as I hate to admit it, I’m going to need help.’

Skye pretended to faint with shock. ‘Wonders will never cease.’

Liz picked up Ivy and Skye helped Clare to her feet, and they headed upstairs. Clare protested at Skye’s insistence that she support her from behind and Ivy tried to squirm out of Liz’s arms. But, for once, it felt like the four of them were united. People who loved you didn’t turn their backs at the first sign of trouble. They turned towards you, arms extended, and gathered you in. We’re not going anywhere, Clare had said. Liz gave Ivy a little squeeze and felt her heart lift. It was going to be all right, after all.

Chapter Seventeen

Liz

Ivy had been bathed and Clare persuaded to rest in bed. She’d resisted, naturally, but when Liz listened outside her bedroom door, all was quiet. She knocked softly and opened the door.

Clare had Ivy at her breast, her gaze directed at her daughter. Her T-shirt was hitched up and Ivy was nestled into her, completely still, her little fingers splayed on Clare’s chest. In an instant, Liz was taken straight back to a moment just like this, watching Jen feeding Clare. Mike had been sitting in a chair beside them, eyes closed and body wilting with fatigue. She’d been full of love and admiration for her best friend at the way she’d morphed from someone who could arrive in a foreign city and find the best club within an hour, to a mother so utterly in love with her child, she never wanted to let her go. And, at the same time, Liz had felt a pang of sorrow, knowing on some unknowable level that she would never get to experience that depth of love herself.

And yet, how fortunate she was, she thought now having watched from the sidelines as that small human had grown up, to have had a special place in her life, so that, now, here she was in Liz’s house, with someone new for Liz to love.

She cleared her throat. ‘Hello. Is it a good time?’

‘Come on in,’ Clare murmured. ‘Join the party.’

‘I’ve had enough partying for one day.’ She attempted to smile, but her lips wouldn’t work properly. ‘Do you mind if I sit?’

‘I’m on morphine,’ Clare answered. ‘I don’t mind anything.’

Liz sat down on the edge of the bed, hyperaware that any movement might jolt Clare’s arm. ‘It feels like this is a precious moment.’

‘It is,’ Clare said with a sigh. ‘I’ve been putting off dropping this last feed for months. I could have given up by now, but it’s the best cuddle of the day. Or it was until I broke my stupid arm. I’m going to stop breastfeeding when she’s one.’ She looked incredulously at Liz. ‘How is she already nearly one?’

‘It’s gone in a flash.’ She had been to visit Clare in hospital the day after Ivy was born and the two women had cried bittersweet tears, both in awe of this tiny perfect bundle, this new life, but overcome with grief that Jen wasn’t there to share the moment.

Ivy had grown so much since then, even since their last visit at Easter. Now, her body lay across Clare’s, her feet dangling on Clare’s thighs. It was such a lovely scene, but there was tension in Clare’s face.

‘If you’re in pain, let me take Ivy off you.’

‘Yes please, she’s finished feeding now anyway,’ Clare replied.

Ivy was heavy with sleep when Liz picked her up. She smelled delicious after her bath and Liz held her close, drinking her in.

‘Goodnight, darling girl.’ She kissed the baby’s cheek and laid her gently in the travel cot beside Clare’s bed.

‘I’ll be OK, you know,’ said Clare, struggling to pull her T-shirt down to cover herself. ‘This is the worst day. Healing starts tomorrow. And as soon as they say I can start doing exercises, I will. I don’t want you to think you’ll be having to wait on me, hand and foot.’

‘It would be my pleasure to look after you. I’ve been trying to do so since Jen died, but you’ve always rebuffed me … in the nicest possible way of course.’