Page 59 of The Sunrise Sisterhood

Skye stared at her. ‘If you dare tell me that you can manage Ivy with one arm, I won’t be responsible for my actions.’

Clare swallowed. Skye had a point, but the truth was that she didn’t want to walk in alone. ‘What will you do if she cries?’

‘What will you do if she cries?’

‘Fine. Be quick,’ Clare relented and stomped off towards the entrance.

‘How are you doing?’ the nurse asked. ‘Has that pain relief kicked in yet?’

The nurse was called Pam. She was a jolly lady in her fifties, with greying blonde hair tied up in a ponytail and bright twinkly eyes. Ivy had rebelled against being held captive in her buggy and was now sitting smugly on Pam’s lap, waving a fabric book around.

‘Sort of.’ Clare’s voice was hoarse with the effort of not crying.

The truth was that Clare felt numb. As if breaking her arm wasn’t enough, the trauma of the last time she was here kept washing over her in waves.

The nurse nodded kindly. ‘Well done.’

They’d been here for an hour and a half. Skye had brought Ivy in her buggy and had remembered to bring her changing bag and an assortment of toys to keep her occupied. While Clare had been taken to be X-rayed, Skye had taken Ivy off to find some food.

Clare kept trying to smile for Ivy’s sake. She’d been trying to smile for Ivy’s sake for eleven months. More, if she counted the months of pregnancy when she’d rubbed her belly and told her bump how much fun they were going to have together. How loved the baby was going to be. She’d known she was expecting a girl. She’d found out as soon as possible. She’d had enough surprises to last a lifetime. First losing her mum, then finding out that she was pregnant. At a time when everything seemed so uncertain, she wanted to be sure of something.

‘See here.’ The nurse tapped the end of her pencil on the computer screen in front of them. ‘Your humerus has what we call a spiral fracture. Quite a nasty break, I’m afraid. Poor Mummy,’ she said to Ivy. ‘Left-or right-handed?’ she asked Clare.

‘Right.’

‘Well, that’s something. What do you do for work?

‘A teacher.’

‘Head teacher,’ Skye corrected, pride in her voice. Clare almost smiled at her.

‘So you’re on school holidays,’ Pam said brightly. ‘It’ll be much better by the time you go back to school.’

‘I’m not just a teacher though, am I? I’m mother to a baby.’

‘Ah,’ the nurse winced. ‘True. A mother’s work is never done. Just ask me, I’ve got four boys and a girl. I come to work for a rest. Right, I’m going to put you in a sling.’

‘Not a cast?’ Clare asked.

The nurse shook her head. ‘A sling is the best thing for it. Allows gravity to do its thing.’

‘Sounds a bit flimsy?’ Skye looked anxious. ‘What if she knocks it. Or if we knock it.’

Clare flinched. The thought of being touched by anyone or anything was horrific. It dawned on her then that this included Ivy. She wouldn’t even be able to hold her little girl.

‘Her birthday,’ she rasped, huge tears forming in her eyes. ‘It’s Ivy’s birthday soon. She’ll be one and I won’t even be able to cuddle her.’

Ivy stretched her arms out towards her, and all Clare could do was hold her daughter’s hand.

‘Oh darling,’ she sniffed. ‘Mummy can’t hold you at the moment.’

‘Mumma,’ Ivy babbled, still reaching for her.

Clare gasped. ‘She’s never said that before. Yes, darling I’m your Mumma.’

And then it was too much to hold in and Clare let the tears fall. She sobbed and sobbed, her chest heaving as the pain in her arm gave way to the aching hole in her heart.

‘My mum,’ she wailed. ‘I miss her so much.’