Page 111 of The Sunrise Sisterhood

‘You know what that reminds me of?’ Clare shook her head. ‘That time Dad made you stand up in the restaurant so that everyone could sing happy birthday to you. Anyone could see how much you hated it.’

‘My God, you’re right.’ Skye looked at her, amazed.

‘So, basically, you’re engaged to a man like Dad. I think there’s a name for that – the something complex.’ Clare reached for her phone. ‘I’ll google it.’

‘Please don’t.’ Skye shuddered. Was that what she’d done? Inadvertently found herself a man like her father? This was getting worse by the second. Jesse was always so definite about everything, so sure that his way was the right way. She’d taken refuge in that at one time, but she couldn’t do it anymore. She needed to strike out on her own. ‘Anyway, there was no way I could stay in Kampala after that. Everyone walking on eggshells, not knowing whether we are actually engaged or not.’

‘You did the right thing coming back.’ Clare put her phone down. ‘And you’ve had the bonus of Ivy and me with you during your period of self-examination. Win-win!’

They grinned at each other. It felt good, this new relationship with Clare. Skye hoped it would last long after summer ended. It would, she decided; she’d make sure it did.

‘Very true,’ she replied. ‘But now I’ve ruined the one chance I had to impress Dad. For once, I wanted to make him as proud of me as he is of his other daughter.’

‘Our father has a lot to answer for,’ Clare tutted. ‘Can I confide in you about something?’

Skye nodded; she’d been waiting for this all her life. ‘Of course.’

‘I really like Adam. But I’m scared of letting him in. What if it goes wrong? What if Ivy gets used to having him around and then he does a disappearing act? I’m big enough to handle the disappointment, but I don’t want to put Ivy through the heartache that I went through with Dad.’

This wasn’t about Adam at all, Skye realised; Clare was worried about history repeating itself. Her heart twisted. She’d always thought Clare was so confident, turned out she had just the same self-doubts as she did.

‘Take it slow,’ she said. ‘Think butterfly in a china shop rather than bull. Let him prove he can be trusted and explain to him what you’re worried about. My friend Marta says it’s always better to be honest with those we care about.’

Clare picked at the sticky tape keeping her brace in place. ‘Good advice. The thing is, I was absolutely convinced that my parents were madly in love with each other. Dad let me and Mum down, and a part of me will always expect that if I let my guard down with a man it’ll happen to me too.’

‘You were what, four? Five? When Dad moved out?’

Clare nodded. ‘My first day of school. I came home bursting with stories to tell him and I never got the chance.’

Skye reached for her sister’s hand and held it lightly. ‘It must have been terrible for you. And your mum. But do we really ever know what’s going on in someone else’s relationship, let alone when we’re only children? I’m pretty sure I’ve cherry-picked my memories, most of which are the dramatic ones. But there must have been boring days when Mum and Dad just got on fine and didn’t argue.’

‘Of course there were.’ Clare grinned. ‘I can remember being bored out of my skull some weekends at yours, so it can’t all have been arguments. Anyway, look at us now, both keeping secrets from Dad. Who’d have thought we’d got so much in common?’

‘You mean pretending you had an ex-boyfriend who dumped you when you were pregnant?’

Clare nodded. ‘If Mum had been alive, I’d have told her everything, but I knew I’d never be able to tell Dad. So I decided it was easier to lie to everyone. There were dark times when I really wanted to tell Liz, but she and my dad go way back, and I wasn’t completely sure she’d be able to keep my secret.’

‘And why couldn’t you tell Dad?’

‘Because all my life I’ve tried to do well at everything,’ said Clare, tilting her chin defiantly. ‘I wanted him to see that I haven’t needed him, that he might have set fire to our family, but that fire gave me the spark to succeed. Picking up a random guy in a hotel bar and sleeping with him was not the way I’d intended to start a family. I didn’t want Dad to spot a chink in my armour.’

‘Ivy isn’t a chink in your armour,’ Skye chided her. ‘She’s the shiny breastplate.’

They both turned and watched Ivy fast asleep in her cot with not a care in the world.

‘Adam’s a lucky guy,’ Skye murmured.

‘Let’s hope he thinks the same.’ Clare puffed out her cheeks. ‘I think today’s the day.’

‘You’re going to tell him the truth?’

Clare nodded. ‘I’ve been sitting here thinking about it since I woke up. I’m going to take it slowly, like you said. But he deserves to know that he has a child. He might be heading back to Bath soon, for all I know, so I’m going to send him a message, ask if he’s free tonight.’

‘How do you think he’ll take it?’

‘God knows. Well, hopefully.’ Clare bit her lip. ‘I was thinking early supper at the pub, taking Ivy with us to defuse any tension. Plus, she’s the greatest advert for parenthood I’ve got to offer.’

‘I like him, he gives off good vibes,’ said Skye, remembering how kind Adam had been at Angel’s party.