Page 48 of The Summer That Changed Us

‘I’m sure that’s not true, but thanks.’ Robyn felt her cheeks infuse with heat and dropped her jumper down. It was ridiculous really; she’d known Claudia since before either of them had had breasts, or boyfriends. There’d been a time when as soon as anything significant happened, they’d race to tell the other to dissect the incident moment by moment. She felt a wave of nostalgia for those times and before she had time to think it through blurted out, ‘Things haven’t been great on that score; I don’t think Finn does think he’s lucky to be honest.’

She pulled the cheese on toast out from under the grill, cut it into quarters and indicated to Claudia to help herself.

‘Course he does, what are you on about?’ Claudia checked on Betty who was fast asleep and then picked up some toast and blew on it. ‘Every time I see you together, you always look besotted.’

Robyn busied herself making them both tea.

‘On the surface we might look the same, but deep down we’ve changed. We’re … ’ she swallowed, debating whether to say anything or not. Oh, why not; Claudia was her best friend after all. ‘We’re not close like we used to be.’

Sometimes she regretted never telling anyone that they’d been planning a family. At the time, she and Finn had decided against it in case they couldn’t conceive. Instead, they’d hugged the plan to themselves, knowing how excited the rest of the family would be once a new baby was on the way, how wide their ‘I told you so’ smiles would stretch. They could never tell them now; Robyn found it hard enough dealing with the pity they tried to hide as it was; it would be a double whammy of disappointment if they ever found out about the baby that never was. But occasionally, like now, it would be nice to get everything out in the open and tell someone exactly how she felt.

‘I’d never have guessed.’ Claudia frowned. ‘I watch you two saunter off from ours, hand in hand, unencumbered by child paraphernalia and picture you ripping each other’s clothes off as soon as you get home.’ She pulled a face. ‘That came out wrong, don’t worry, I don’t actually picture that part, more the freedom to do what you want.’

Robyn laughed. ‘That’s just it, I want to, but Finn doesn’t. Since my op, I’m not sure that Finn fancies me anymore.’

Annoyingly, tears pricked at her eyes and she tilted her head up, willing them to disappear.

Her best friend gave her a gentle hug. ‘Oh, mate. I’m sure that’s not true.’

Robyn nodded sadly. ‘He pulls away when I try and get close and he’s always the first to end a kiss.’

‘Do you think he’s scared of hurting you?’ Claudia suggested.

‘Possibly,’ she replied, thinking that that scenario was certainly preferable to not desiring her. ‘If that’s the case, I’ll have to convince him that he won’t. I’m going all out tonight: candlelit bath, aromatherapy massage oil; just me and Finn, and the new undies of course.’

She swallowed down a pang of nerves; that would mean stripping off in front of him, which she usually avoided if she could.

Claudia closed her eyes and sighed. ‘An uninterrupted bath. Door locked. Bliss.’

How different they were these days, Robyn mused, finishing her toast. Claudia craved solitude, but Robyn wanted intimacy.

‘Has he said anything to Callum about me?’ Robyn asked, adding hurriedly, ‘Please don’t tell him I asked.’

‘Callum tells me bits and pieces that Finn has said. But I don’t remember hearing anything about your sex life. And I would have remembered that. I’m living vicariously at the moment.’

That had to be a good sign. She knew Finn wasn’t great at opening up either, but if something serious was bothering him, she was sure he’d tell his brother.

‘More tea, more cheese on toast?’ Robyn offered. She lifted the lid off the cake tin. ‘Or we’ve got cherry and almond muffins.’

‘I’ll take a muffin for later.’ Claudia took a last sip of her tea and put the cup down in the sink. ‘Lovely that, thanks. Now, the reason why I came round: we’re having the kids christened, all three, a job lot. Callum and I would like to ask you if you’d be their godmother. Callum is asking Finn today to be godfather.’

‘I’d be honoured!’ Robyn was delighted and threw her arms around her friend, hugging her close. ‘And thank you for listening.’

‘Anytime. I know I’m a bit preoccupied with Betty at the moment, but I mean it. And good luck tonight.’ Claudia winked and nudged Robyn in the ribs. ‘I’d better go, I’m hoping Mel can fit me in for a quick trim before the kids finish school.’

‘You can leave Betty with me if you like,’ Robyn said. She could take her out for a walk, maybe down to the beach. She’d been in all day; it would be good to get some fresh air.

Claudia shook her head. ‘Thanks for the offer, but she’ll wake up soon and want feeding and you haven’t got the equipment … ’ She froze and then she groaned. ‘Bugger. I’ve done it again. Robyn, I’m sorry.’

‘Hello girls. Sorry for what?’ Finn appeared at the kitchen doorway, having let himself noiselessly into the cottage. His eyes scanned her face for clues.

Robyn’s heart flickered. He was her everything, what would she do if his love for her had changed? ‘Nothing, because there’s no need to apologise,’ she managed a laugh. ‘Claudia was just saying that I couldn’t look after Betty because I can’t breastfeed her. But neither could anyone else in the family.’

‘That’s true, thank you,’ Claudia said meekly. ‘Anyway, I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it. Finn, you’re on a promise tonight; Robyn’s wearing her sexy undies.’

She kissed them both goodbye and Finn stood aside to let her manoeuvre the pram back to the front door.

Thanks, Claudia. Robyn sighed inwardly; so much for her plans for a slow and gentle seduction.