Page 91 of The Merry Christmas Project

‘Look at her up there,’ Fred whistled under his breath. ‘What a girl.’

‘I know,’ Cole replied. ‘Bloody gorgeous.’

Fred laughed and Cole realised he’d been talking about Hester.

‘Sorry, Dad.’ He put a hand on Fred’s arm. ‘I’m miles away.’

Fred’s eyes twinkled. ‘About bloody time.’

Cole and Fred were at the front of the crowd. Next to Fred was Astrid, who’d met them outside the old bank. Cole couldn’t be sure, but he had a sneaking suspicion that their meeting wasn’t an accident. Crafty old sod, he thought, smiling to himself. He was genuinely happy for his dad that he had a lady friend and when Astrid had remarked on the icy pavements, Fred had offered her his arm and the two of them had proceeded arm in arm to the stage.

‘She is a very special girl,’ said Astrid, ‘we are lucky to have her.’

Her remark could have been referring to either of the women, had it not been for the sideways look Astrid had given him as she said it.

He shook his head, laughing to himself. Was it that obvious ? It was just a shame that he didn’t seem capable of making his feelings apparent to Merry. But for some reason, he seemed to go to jelly when he was with her. Take Friday for instance. He’d psyched himself up to ask her out on a date, he’d even bought her a bunch of flowers. He’d been fine all the way up to that moment when he’d presented them to her and then … boom. He’d taken one look at her lovely face and bottled it.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to ask her out, far from it, but he’d had a sudden attack of cold feet.

The thing was, he realised, that he liked her too much to risk it going wrong. What if she’d said no, where would he have gone from there ? The way he felt about her was too important to risk blowing it. So, he’d bottled out.

But looking on the bright side, she had admitted that she was ready to meet someone, how did she put it … she was going to hang around under the mistletoe and wait for the one. So that was encouraging, maybe that was his answer : maybe he should do something daft like pin a spring of mistletoe to the front of his woolly hat and see what her reaction was.

Cole tuned back into Hester’s speech about how she’d always loved decorating the tree when she was a little girl and how that marked the start of Christmas for her ; and that it was such an honour to be asked to switch on the lights in Wetherley. Her words were being met with great applause, thank goodness. She was a tough cookie, she understood that being in the public eye left her exposed to comments from strangers about everything from her hairstyle to her weight. She’d even had angry emails from a viewer once criticizing her terrible French accent after introducing a range of French hair products. Despite her breezily happy-go-lucky exterior, Cole knew that unwarranted criticism cut her to the quick. But tonight’s event was going well, she’d leave Wetherley with a smile on her face, happy that her appearance had been well received.

Standing next to Hester was Mrs Dunford, Benny’s widow, who’d made a short and teary speech about her husband and his well-known love for Wetherley and his lesser-known love for Hester’s TV show, which had delighted Hester and had gone down very well with the audience.

He looked at Merry again, her face just visible between a woollen hat and his scarf, cheeks pink, nose too, her hands, in ridiculous stripy gloves, clapping as Hester waved to the assembled crowd. Then she pulled the scarf over her nose as if she was smelling it. Was it too much to hope that it reminded her of him ? The thought gave him courage and he felt a smile tug at his lips.

He couldn’t look at Merry without smiling, he couldn’t even think about her without smiling. She was quite simply and unexpectedly the one thing which had brought him joy this winter. Every minute he spent in her company left him wanting more. Every smile she gave him made him want to make her smile again just to see her happy. The story she had told him about her childhood churned like acid in his stomach. He was in awe of her resilience and positivity. She deserved to be happy. Maybe it was a bit macho of him, but he had a burning desire to protect her, to make up for all the things that had happened to her in the past. Prove to her that not all men were unreliable, that he could be trusted.

Also, he thought, feeling a low tremble in the pit of his stomach, she was as hot as hell. Earlier, when they’d reached the old bank and she’d noticed the mistletoe under the porch, he’d wanted so much to pull her into his arms and give her a kiss that would take her breath away. But there was no way on earth he could have done that with his sister and father looking on. Then she’d kissed his dad ! Which he loved her for. Not loved, too strong, he corrected himself swiftly, but anyway, the look on old Fred’s face had more than made up for the fact that Merry was kissing the wrong man under the mistletoe. And then to add insult to miserable injury, she and his dad had managed to make a date for candle-making on Monday. Just like that. She’d even said, it’s a date !

Her next free day was Christmas Day. Other than fitting the kitchen in the old bank, he didn’t have any plans that day either. Could that be the day of their first date, he mused. As far as he knew she was going to be at home watching her favourite film, and he’d never seen the sequel to Home Alone …

‘OK, Wetherley,’ Hester said, ‘the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Shall we light up this Christmas tree ?’ She cupped her hand to her ear and the night air rang out with cheers and shouts of YES.

Just in time Cole remembered that he’d promised to take photos for Hester, and video it to show Freya and Harley their aunt doing her celebrity thing. He pulled his phone out and snapped a few pictures and then set it to record.

‘Ten, nine, eight …’ Hester chanted, and the crowd chanted along with her. ‘Seven, six …’

Cole panned around the marketplace to capture the atmosphere. Couples of every generation stood hand in hand, parents jiggled babies on their hips, children bounced up and down on the spot in their excitement and the older ones hung about in groups, doing their best not to look interested, but secretly sparkly-eyed with joy.

Freya and Harley would have loved this.

As he held up his phone, Cole felt a pang of longing for his children so sharp that it brought tears to his eyes. It was made worse by the fact that Lydia had confirmed that Freya was suffering from homesickness and was missing him. Harley too had become moody, and Lydia was worried that he wasn’t getting on as well at school as she’d initially thought.

Those kids were his world and without them, his life had an emptiness which no amount of overtime could fill. What he wouldn’t give to have them both here now, Freya’s small hand in his, and Harley, too grown up to hold hands, but lurking nearby.

He heaved a sigh. His fractured family, his kids thousands of miles away, his daughter putting the angel on top of a Christmas tree that he’d never see, his son getting so tall that he’d be able to hang the decorations on the top branches for Lydia ; their Christmas plans that didn’t include him, their father who loved them more than he loved himself. He swallowed hard and forced himself to smile as Hester shouted, ‘Merry Christmas, everyone !’

She pressed down on the plunger and as the Christmas tree lit up with thousands of tiny lights, cheers and whoops and whistles of delight rang around the marketplace. The music started up again and Elton John started singing about stepping into Christmas and all Cole could think about was stepping on a plane and feeling his children in his arms again. He zoomed in for a shot of Hester dancing and then stopped the video and shoved his phone away.

He mumbled something to his dad about needing to make a phone call and walked away from the stage before anyone noticed that his eyes were full of tears.

Chapter 28

Merry