Page 32 of The Merry Christmas Project

I felt my eyes prickle with tears at the memory of a young mum doing her best for her daughter.

‘That is a nice idea,’ I murmured.

‘Only if you’ve got kids,’ Nell pointed out. ‘What about the elderly ? Yours was much more inclusive.’

‘On Christmas Eve itself, I suggest that we sing carols as usual,’ said Tasha.

I frowned. ‘Damn, I forgot about the tradition of carol singing, that’ll count against me.’

‘I thought you didn’t want to win.’ Nell raised a quizzical eyebrow.

‘Yes, well,’ I said sheepishly. ‘Turns out I don’t want to lose either.’

‘This year led by the Wetherley Primary School Choir,’ Tasha continued. ‘Dressed in Victorian clothing, carrying lanterns to give an extra traditional feel to the event. And that concludes my proposal. It is simple, but I believe the best ideas often are, and if executed well, like Benny himself would have done, it will be a triumph. Thank you. Any questions ?’

Nell’s hand shot up. ‘Will Santa’s grotto have any real reindeer ?’

Tasha blinked uncertainly before she rallied. ‘I did look into it, but the rules and regulations were quite prohibitive. So no, I’m afraid.’

There were a few mutters of disappointment around the room.

‘I hope you haven’t just landed the school secretary into a pile of bother,’ I whispered.

Nell shrugged. ‘I could have just asked her the question innocently, nothing to do with loose-lipped Sally at all.’

The pub landlady put her hand up. ‘What if you haven’t got kids ? Like me. What’s in it for us ?’

Tasha smiled. ‘We were all children once ; this scheme gives us a chance to see Christmas through a child’s eyes, remember how we felt, rekindle the Christmas magic.’

‘Hmm,’ the pub landlady grunted.

There appeared to be no more questions, so I started off a round of applause and everyone else joined in as Tasha took her seat. Daniel was clapping but if I had to put money on it, I’d say he clapped harder for me. I looked at my watch and suppressed a yawn. Could I sneak out, I wondered ?

‘You can’t go yet,’ Nell whispered, reading my mind. ‘We’ve got to listen to Nigel and then vote.’

‘I suppose you’re right,’ I said with a sigh.

‘Last but certainly not least, Nigel Taylor, let’s hear your proposal please.’ Jim waved an arm to the spot vacated by Tasha.

Nigel came up to the front of room. He stood feet wide apart and rubbed his hands together.

‘Thanks, Jim. First of all, apologies for my late arrival. My little Nipper got scared when some inconsiderate shit-fer-brains neighbours, who shall remain nameless, let off a load of firecrackers. It took me and my wife two hours to find him. He was shivering with fear and at some point he had taken a dive in some fox poo.’

‘Poor kid,’ I whispered.

Nell stifled a giggle. ‘Nipper is his Jack Russell. Fox poo was probably an improvement. I didn’t think dogs could have BO until I met Nipper. And I say that as a huge lover of dogs.’

‘Anyway, all’s well that ends well,’ Nigel concluded. ‘Now. On to my idea for Benny’s tribute. I’ve taken my inspiration from Brooklyn in New York and added my own special twist.’ He beamed proudly. ‘Imagine if people came from far and wide just to see the decorations in Wetherley Square, just like they do in Dyker Heights in Brooklyn. We’d be a local a tourist attraction.’

Nigel had me at tourist attraction. How cool would that be if Benny’s Christmas decorations were so popular that visitors came to Wetherley especially to see them. Imagine the effect on trade. It was a brilliant idea.

Nell leaned into me. ‘Ugh. If he says he wants to fill the market square with inflatable Santas, kill me now.’

I shushed her and tuned back in to Nigel.

‘So, my big idea is …’ he paused for dramatic effect. ‘Inflatables.’

He didn’t have much more to say after that, other than to describe how ‘brill’ Wetherley would look if the market square was full of large air-filled Christmassy Santas, reindeer, trees and snowmen.