Page 2 of The Merry Christmas Project

Was he implying that I was untidy, or that a dog would be messy ? I wasn’t exactly famed for my organisational skills. I glanced at him. ‘If you’ve changed your mind—’

He cut off my protests by kissing the ticklish part of my neck below my ear. ‘Not at all. You’re a great housemate and you make the best …’ he inspected a sandwich. ‘Peanut butter and … ?’

‘Nutella,’ I supplied with a gush of relief. Housemate wasn’t the most romantic title I could think of, but at least I was great at it.

He laughed, shaking his head. ‘You make the best peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches in the world.’

‘Thank you.’ I needed to hear that ; it made me feel less like I was imposing on him.

He shared out the sandwiches, placing them neatly onto folded squares of kitchen paper and I poured us both tea from a flask.

Everything about Daniel was neat and tidy. I was grateful to him for making room in his house for me and I made a solemn vow to myself not to jeopardise the arrangement by leaving my stuff all over the place. Moving in together hadn’t been one of those carefully planned scenarios where two grown-ups talk about taking their relationship to the next level. It had come about because a few weeks ago I’d left my job at Tractor World clutching a small redundancy payout and a vague plan to turn my hobby of candle-making into a business. I’d called it Merry and Bright and I had lots of ideas for it, but it would be a while before I made a profit.

‘I’ll throw all my energy into it,’ I’d told Daniel. ‘And if I can’t make it pay in a year, I’ll go back to having a nine-to-five job.’

‘I love your determination,’ he’d said, ‘and I’m sure you’ll be a great success, but in the meantime, why don’t you move into my house to reduce your outgoings ?’

That had been a month ago and now I was fully set up at Daniel’s house and he had cleared out the garden shed for my candle-making. It was a risky move, setting up a business instead of looking for another job, but I wasn’t scared of risks. My best friend Nell was in awe; she couldn’t believe I’d decided to do something so major, so quickly. And in truth I’d have been in a bit of a pickle if Daniel hadn’t been there to prop me up. But I had a feeling that starting Merry and Bright was exactly the move I needed.

‘This is great,’ said Daniel now, indicating the view and the picnic, ‘but I’ll have to do some work tonight when we get back. If I don’t keep on top of it—’

‘I know,’ I supplied, ‘you’ll be playing catch-up all week.’

Along with keeping a tidy house, keeping on top of things was his perennial concern. Daniel had an ambitious streak and his plan was to open another store in the next town, and if that did well, another and another. My career ambitions were more modest : I didn’t really have a plan other than making as many candles as I could and selling them , but I admired his forward-thinking.

I popped the last bit of crust into my mouth and jumped up to take a picture of the lovely vista below us with my phone. Unfortunately, my foot slipped on some loose stones and I twisted my ankle and fell backwards, landing with a thump on my bottom.

‘OUCH. Shit. Ouch.’ I bit my lip and tried not to cry.

‘Merry Shaw, what am I going to do with you ?’ Daniel sprang to his feet to help me up.

‘I didn’t look,’ I said, blowing out in short bursts, breathing away the pain like I’d seen in birth documentaries.

‘Before you leapt ?’ he teased. ‘Not like you.’

‘If giving birth hurts more than this, I’m not sure I want to do it.’

‘Give birth ?’ Daniel laughed nervously. ‘What makes you say that ? You’re not … are you … ?’

‘No, of course not,’ I said, wincing. ‘It was just an observation.’

‘That’s all right then.’ His shoulders relaxed. ‘You had me going for a moment.’

The utter relief in his voice was unmistakable. But surely it wouldn’t have been that much of a disaster ? OK, it wasn’t planned, but we were in a long-term relationship and in our thirties. We could easily accommodate a child into the life we were building for ourselves.

‘So, for clarity,’ I swallowed, fiddling with the turn-ups on my shorts, ‘me being pregnant would be terrible news ?’

‘Seeing as you’ve just slipped on rocks up a mountain, twenty miles from the nearest hospital … if you were pregnant, I’d be worried about what was going on in there,’ he said, pointing to my stomach.

My heart lifted . He was just being practical, as ever ; of course he was.

I laughed softly. ‘Phew, for a moment there I thought—’

‘Although I have to be honest,’ he said casually, ‘it wouldn’t be ideal, would it ? You’re trying to get a new business off the ground and I’m putting all my energy into the shop.’

‘I guess not.’ He was right, but I couldn’t help feeling disappointed. ‘I definitely need to focus on Merry and Bright.’

I sat back down gingerly, my ankle still aching, and Daniel joined me.