Page 26 of My Kind of Happy

‘Bye,’ I replied with a grin.

What a sweet boy; I was no expert but he must have been about eight years old. He looked very cute in his outfit: trousers, white shirt and a full-length adult tie which poked out from the bottom of his waistcoat. He had a yellow and white buttonhole pinned to his chest. As he and the dog headed back towards the church, something fell from his pocket.

‘Wait! You’ve dropped something,’ I called, stepping forward to pick it up. It was a ring box.

‘Yikes again!’ His eyes widened, as he dragged the dog back to collect it from me. ‘Dad would ban me from the Xbox for life if I lost the rings.’

‘Let’s make sure that doesn’t happen,’ I said, smiling at his earnest little face. ‘Tuck it away safely. Are you an usher?’

He puffed his chest out, shaking his head. ‘I’m the best man. I’ve got to do a speech at the party and everything.’

He put the ring box in his pocket and then froze. ‘Oh no.’

‘What is it?’

His chin started to wobble. ‘My speech. It was in my pocket and now it’s gone.’

I cast about on the ground looking for it, but couldn’t see anything vaguely speech-like.

‘What’s your name?’

Before he could answer, the bride and her father appeared on the other side of the lychgate, thankfully still being occupied by the man pretending to be a photographer, but they’d be through that gate any minute.

‘Noah,’ he whispered, his face getting more crumpled by the second.

Scamp and Hugo were still trotting around in an endless circle and getting their leads tangled.

‘I bet you’ll give a great speech,’ I said, unravelling the leads. ‘Even if you have to make it up on the spot. Just say that the bridesmaids look beautiful, they’ll like that, and then tell a funny story about the groom.’

‘That’s my dad,’ Noah nodded thoughtfully. ‘I suppose I do know quite a few funny things to say.’

‘There you go then,’ I said, keeping an eye on the bridal party.

‘Like the time he farted in church and tried to blame Granddad.’

I managed to keep a straight face. Well what did I expect? He was a small boy; Freddie’s favourite toys when he was a similar age were a whoopee cushion and a fake dog poo. ‘Hmm, anything else, maybe not about wind?’

‘Not wind.’ Noah thought for a second. ‘There is one about snow.’

‘Much better,’ I said with relief.

His eyes sparkled mischievously. ‘Daddy’s car got stuck in the snow driving up the hill and he was so scared he did a little poo.’

‘Whoops,’ I said, swallowing a giggle. ‘Perhaps you’ll find your speech in time.’

‘What’s your name?’ he asked warily as if suddenly realising he was talking to a stranger.

‘Er …’ I hesitated, not wanting to get the blame for the amount of toilet-related humiliation about to be heaped on the poor groom by his son.

I was saved from having to answer by the gate being opened and the bride walked through on the arm of the man I assumed was her dad.

‘Hello darling!’ she said to Noah, a huge smile visible under her veil.

Also visible, although not as huge was a bump under her dress; she was definitely pregnant. Her flowers were amazing: a rustic bouquet of pale yellow ranunculus, white roses and sunshine-centred daisies, wrapped in ivy.

‘Hi Mummy, hi Granddad, I just brought Hugo out for one minute,’ he said, shooting a nervous glance in my direction, probably hoping I wouldn’t grass on him about the escaped dog, dropped wedding rings and mislaid speech. I smiled evenly, hoping that the bride didn’t want to know who I was. ‘And now I’m going back in. Bye.’

‘That’s a good lad,’ said his granddad.