Page 144 of My Kind of Happy

‘Fine.’ I tugged my sunhat down to hide my pink cheeks and they both giggled conspiratorially as I marched off to find Sam.

I could have found my way to the hog roast blindfolded, it was already beginning to smell amazing. I made a mental note to keep a steady eye on Scamp when he arrived later. Biddy had arranged to have him bathed and groomed before the wedding. I had a feeling he wouldn’t be straying very far from Sam all day. Lucky dog.

Sam was rearranging white hot charcoals with a long pair of tongs as I approached.

‘Hi. I’m just going to get ready,’ I said, trying to make eye contact as instructed, ‘but wanted to check everything was OK?’

Even before he opened his mouth I could tell he was having the time of his life. He was animated and energetic, his head nodding to music being played by Will who was sitting behind the hog-roast oven in the shade.

Will raised his eyes briefly to acknowledge me before going back to his tablet.

‘What do you think?’ Sam spread his arms proudly.

‘Looks great!’ I nodded enthusiastically. ‘This could be the career in food you’ve always dreamed of.’

Actually the sight of a whole pig suspended over a layer of hot coals was fairly disgusting. However, I forced myself to look at it; I loved pork cooked this way and it was hypocritical of me not to acknowledge the process. Goodness knows what Annabel thought about her father’s potential new venture.

‘It’s bringing out the caveman in me. I’ve got an urge to rip my shirt off and beat my chest.’

‘Don’t mind me,’ I said evenly.

I tried not to think about Sam’s bare chest. How I’d spent the night snuggled up against it, how the muscles in his shoulders had rippled as we’d made love. It might have only been one night, but for me it had been love.

I felt my heart beat faster as I looked at him. It still was love. Shame it was unrequited.

‘Fearne.’ He lowered his voice and looked at me with such intensity that I couldn’t have dragged myself away if I’d wanted to. ‘Can I talk to you later?’

‘Sure. What about?’ I held my breath. Maybe it wasn’t unrequited after all.

He lifted his pork pie hat and scratched his head. ‘Oh, you know, this.’ He gestured vaguely with a hand. ‘Everything.’

I nodded, trying to hide my disappointment. So he didn’t want to talk about ‘us’. Of course he didn’t, because there was no ‘us’. He probably just wanted to pick my brains about doing some boring market research for the hog-roasting oven market.

‘Yep,’ I said, turning to go. ‘I should have a window about seven o’clock. See you then.’

‘A window?’ I heard Will say. ‘Why has she got a window?’

‘Son,’ said Sam. ‘As Sean Connery says: “I like women. I don’t understand them, but I like them.”’

I couldn’t help giggling as I strode away. And this woman can’t help liking you too.

It was almost time. The guests were in their seats, including Hamish’s parents whom I’d last seen at Freddie’s funeral almost a year ago, and some of mine and Laura’s old friends from uni. It promised to be quite a party later if the mood already was anything to go by. Gina and Rosie, plus her husband Gabe, who insisted on coming to check she didn’t overdo it, were handing out water and sparkling elderflower cordial to everyone to ensure no one got dehydrated.

Laura and I were in the little private garden at Welcome Cottage with Dexter who was taking a last few photographs. Hamish had already come to the door to collect Scamp and all we were waiting for now was for Terry to arrive and the wedding would begin.

‘Straighten your arms and hold the bouquet in front of you,’ Dexter instructed.

I had to keep turning away from Laura; I’d never seen her look so beautiful and the make-up lady said she couldn’t keep re-doing my mascara forever. Her wedding dress looked even more stunning on her than it had done on the page in the magazine. It was a sleeveless ivory lace sheath with a wide boat neck at the front which showed her slender collarbones and dipped into a low curve at the back. Her copper hair was short and feathered prettily around her face and the crown dotted with cornflowers finished the look perfectly.

‘Like this?’ Laura did as she was told.

‘Perfect.’ Dexter focused the lens and took the shot.

I started fanning her again while Dexter put her bouquet on the grass, arranged the ribbon streamers artistically and did some close-ups.

I’d taken Nina’s advice and had a shower at Welcome Cottage before having my hair and make-up done. I’d requested a minimum amount of make-up because it was all going to slide off anyway, but the nude colours she’d used on my eyelids and lips plus a slick of mascara and a generous dusting of powder had done my confidence a power of good. My hairstyle was simple and exactly what I’d wanted: a dainty plait either side into which tiny meadow flowers had been tucked. I was totally in love with my dress: it was blush pink, strapless and straight and fell to below my knee. It was made of the softest cotton, as light as gossamer. I might never take it off again.

‘Oh, that’s nice,’ Laura said closing her eyes as I wafted air over her. ‘If I ever get married again—’