Page 121 of My Kind of Happy

Chapter Thirty-four

Sunday finally came around and despite the fact I’d been awake at six, I still managed to be drying my hair when the doorbell rang at ten minutes to noon. I’d have missed the sound altogether if it hadn’t been for Scamp barking his head off from his lookout post in the front room. I switched off the hairdryer and tried not to sprint to open the door. My room looked like the proverbial bomb had hit it; I’d tried on every item of clothing I possessed in a quest to find the outfit which struck the right balance between lunch with a friend and lunch with a man I’d dreamed about last night and woken up all of a quiver. The mess could wait, I decided, closing the door on it.

‘Coming!’ I called as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

I caught sight of my reflection in the hall mirror and nearly died; that was the last time I dried my hair upside down for speed. I looked like a witch. Even Scamp had reduced his tail action to an unsure slow wag at the sight of me.

I grabbed a baseball cap from the peg over the shoe rack and crammed it on over my puffy hair, laughing at myself. I’d be lucky if Sam didn’t get straight back in his car.

I flung open the door. ‘Now don’t be alarmed …’

The words died on my lips as I took in the sight in front of me; a tall bear of a man filled my vision, his shoulders wide thanks to a padded leather jacket, his entire head hidden inside a motorcycle helmet with a visor pulled down over his face. He held up a gloved hand in greeting.

My legs trembled. ‘Freddie?’ I gasped.

‘Ready for your adventure?’ Sam flipped up the visor, grinning, and produced a second helmet from behind his back.

There was a scream, followed by a sudden movement, the front door slammed and I found myself back inside, my head spinning.

Sam was a biker? How did I not know this? In all the conversations we’d had over the past couple of months, how had this never come up?

‘Fearne?’ Sam knocked on the door softly. ‘Are you OK?’

My heart was beating so fast that it was hard enough to catch my breath, let alone speak. Scamp pattered a little way down the hall uncertainly and I leaned back against the door.

The letter flap squeaked open and I stepped to one side. Even in the state I was in there was no need to give the poor man a view of my bum squished against the opening.

‘I handled that badly,’ he said, his voice loaded with regret. ‘I’m such an idiot for not realising how frightening opening the door to a masked man would be. I’m so sorry I made you scream.’

‘It’s not that I’m scared of,’ I managed to reply.

How could I tell him that it was the ghost of my brother which had caused my world to spin?

There was a pause before he spoke again.

‘Oh, I see. It’s me.’ The disappointment in his tone melted my heart. ‘If you’ve changed your mind, that’s fine but at least open the door and talk to me.’

‘It’s not you, it’s your motorbike,’ I replied. ‘I don’t do motorbikes.’

‘Ahh, right. I thought you were always up for an adventure, but that’s no problem.’

I could hear the smile in Sam’s voice, the relief that it wasn’t personal. Except it was personal. Freddie had lost his life because of a stupid bike ride. The baggage Sam would be bringing from his recent break-up I could cope with, but a motorbike? That was a deal-breaker.

‘Riding a motorbike isn’t an adventure, it’s dangerous and it’s selfish,’ I felt a sob rising in my throat.

‘I’m safe, I promise!’ he pleaded, his voice dancing with humour. ‘I’ve never had an accident, never even gone over the speed limit and I had the very best motorcycle instructor.’

‘Doesn’t mean a thing.’ I shook my head as a tear ran down my face. ‘Doesn’t matter how experienced you are, or careful, or slow. Accidents can still happen.’

‘Open the door, sweetheart. Please. Let me put this right.’

Sweetheart. My heart twisted; he’d never called me that before. I wanted to see him, I wanted to hold his face in my hands and feel his warmth. I took a deep breath and opened the door. His jacket and both helmets were on the ground. Scamp jumped up at Sam’s legs and whined with pleasure to see him.

‘Jeez.’ Sam ruffled his hair. He looked baffled and nervous. ‘My first date in ten years and I’ve made her cry before she even leaves the house.’

My lips twitched into a smile and I couldn’t help feeling sorry for him.

‘Sam, I’m afraid this is something you can never put right. My brother thought he was safe, and he was a motorcycle instructor. He was the most careful rider I knew. He’d never been in an accident either until the one which killed him.’