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"I don't think he's ever really been free of it."

A thoughtful hum comes through the speaker. "You sound genuinely worried about him."

I blink. "What?"

"You sound like you care about him."

"I..."

Guilt settles heavily in my stomach. This conversation shouldn't even be happening. I'm talking to my own sister about a man who should have become her husband, and instead of sounding angry or resentful, I'm sitting here worrying about him. The realization makes me feel awful.

"Have you..." she asks carefully, "fallen in love with him?"

My head snaps up. "What?"

"Have you fallen in love with your husband?"

"No."

The answer comes so quickly that it almost feels like a lie.

"No," I repeat, more firmly this time. "I haven't."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am." I begin pacing the room, suddenly unable to stand still. "I'm supposed to hate him, Audrey. How can you even ask me that?"

"Why?"

"Because he ruined both our lives."

She sighs softly. “Rory, it's not a bad thing if you've fallen for him. It doesn't matter if he was supposed to marry me. He's your husband now.”

"I don't even know what I feel anymore," I confess. "One minute I'm angry with him. The next, I find myself worrying whether he's slept enough or whether he's eaten. None of it makes any sense. I'm not supposed to feel this way."

"Listen to me, Rory. Roman isn't my husband. He's yours. And if you are beginning to fall for him..." Audrey continues gently, "that isn't something you should punish yourself for."

"I don't know if it's love."

"You don't have to know today. Give it time."

I glance once more at the empty pillow beside mine.

My sister is right. I'll just let whatever this is, be.

Chapter 19

Roman

Last night, when Aurora pleaded with me not to go, I couldn’t say no to her.

Every part of me was screaming that I had already crossed too many lines, and I needed to leave. But the tone of her request was so fragile and pitiable. So I got into bed with her, telling myself I would wait until she fell asleep and then slip away.

Somehow, I fell asleep too. I don’t remember the last time I slept through an entire night without a night terror yanking me awake. This morning, when I felt her shifting in my arms, the shock of it hit me hard. I had slept through the night with her pressed against me.

I kept my eyes closed and pretended to still be asleep while she carefully disentangled herself. The moment she left the room to go downstairs, I got up, dressed, and disappeared before she could return.

I couldn’t handle the vulnerability of it. I don’t want her thinking this is how things are going to be from now on, because it isn’t. Last night was a mistake I don’t plan on repeating. I can’t stand the thought of hurting her in my sleep.