Page 91 of Her Last Breath

‘Yes, ma’am. See you on Monday.’

Jane said quick goodbyes to as many staff as she could. DC Chan stopped her when she passed her by.

‘Ma’am, I just wanted to say thank you,’ she said, her face flushing as she spoke.

‘For what? I should be thanking you.’

‘Before you came it was different. I was still part of the team but there was always this element of them treating me like an inflated analyst. As though I wasn’t really a part of the investigative team, one of the detectives.’

‘The best teams make use of the entire unit. Your technical skills are brilliant. More than that, you have the right attitude. Stick with it, a bit of field experience and you’ll be as irritating as me.’

‘I wish! I was only able to function at full capacity because you let me breathe and show it. I was dismissed as being new, too wet behind the ears. You trusted me to go away and do what I needed to. I appreciate not being micromanaged or having my every move mapped out for me.’

She stopped, aware of what she was saying, bravado from the alcohol allowing her to be so honest.

‘I really want you to stay, ma’am.’

Jane hesitated; she wasn’t about to make promises she had no intention of keeping.

‘Don’t ever let anyone limit you, DC Chan. You’re going to make a brilliant DI one day.’

Outside the pub Jane breathed in the dark, cold air. It felt fresh. You didn’t get that in London. She knew she should go home, but she was anxious and even afraid of doing so. The West Pennine Moors were looming around Burnley like fortress gates. Jane didn’t want to cloud her team’s win with the shadows that were the result of her own demons, so she walked back to the station to get her car.

She wasn’t ready to celebrate yet. And her mother was waiting.

Chapter 63

It was 8.30 p.m. when Jane walked through the front door. She thought it was much later, her body and mind spent after the long day. It was as though she had already lived three days in this one and now she had to get ready to live another.

Her mother was awake, watching TV. The news was on low volume.

‘Isn’t there anything else you’d rather be watching? I can lend you my tablet if you want to see some of your old favourites.’

‘No, I don’t really think I can concentrate.’

Jane didn’t want to say this might be the last chance she got to watch her favourite films or TV shows. It felt sad thinking it.

‘How was work?’

‘Busy. We had a big breakthrough.’

‘The poor girl who drowned?’

‘Yes.’ That was a turnaround from how she had first described Alice.

‘I feel sorry for the children. Always the ones left behind who have to deal with the pain.’

A moment of overwhelming sadness engulfed Jane, leaving her unable to say anything. Was Maeve talking about their shared pain? Or was she alluding to what Jane might have to go through once she was gone?

‘Jane, I need you to do something for me, please.’

‘Sure. You need something to eat? Tea?’ Please let that be it, she didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with anything more.

‘I need you take me to the graveyard. To see Ed’s grave.’

‘Mum, it’s half eight now, it’s closed. I’ll take you first thing in the morning, I promise.’

‘It has to be tonight,’ her mother said, looking intensely at her. Jane thought she might start crying, she knew what that look meant. Despite how frail she was, Maeve wanted to complete this one final act. Jane stifled the grief that was threatening to break. Instead, she called Sameer from the landing.