Page 58 of Knight’s Absolution

“Yes, but you don’t need to…”

“I’ll do it.”

“Luna…”

“I want to. The things I did for…Azel, were things that hurt you, all of you. I can’t take it back or make it up to you, but I’d like to help you now if I can.”

Gunner’s chest felt too tight, he was breathing heavily, something close to panic taking hold. If he lost her again, he didn’t think he’d survive it this time. As if she sensed his fear, she moved forward, moved toward him.

“It’s okay,” she said for his ears only and pressed into his side, her head going to his chest and breathing deep like she often did, taking in his scent. Comforting him and herself at the same time. Jesus, she broke him in two. But she didn’t stop there, her arms came around his waist and she squeezed tight. “It’s going to be okay, Gunner. You’ll keep me safe.”

Later Luna stood just inside the control room, waiting to leave. It was dark outside and cloudy.

Gloomy.

She hugged herself, brushing her hands over the sweater she had on under her jacket. Gunner told her to dress warmly. He wasn’t here yet, and she took another step back as Gunner’s brothers moved to their mates. Only Grace wasn’t here, since she was already in the city with her crew, ready and waiting should the knights need backup.

But Chaos and his mate would have shared a similar exchange as his brothers and their females when they parted.

Luna tried to look away, but she couldn’t take her eyes off Lazarus and Eve, the way he threaded his fingers in her hair and took her mouth. The way Eve wrapped her arms around her mate as if she didn’t want to be parted from him. It made Luna’s chest feel hot and tight, a strange longing growing there.

What would that be like? To be kissed like that? She’d seen humans kiss plenty of times and had been curious even then. Some kisses had been deep and consuming, like Lazarus and Eve’s, and some quick, a friendly show of affection.

She assumed it had to be pleasurable. But having no concept of pleasure, she’d never really understood why they did it? But watching Gunner’s brothers now, the way Zenon looked at Mia like she was his entire world. The way Kryos curled an arm around Meredith and buried his face against her throat before whispering something in her ear—maybe she was beginning to understand.

They had a connection, but it was more than that. It was as if they were two halves of the same whole and being parted physically hurt the other.

The strange longing in her chest gripped tighter.

“Ready, love?”

She jumped, her face heating at being caught watching such private moments. She looked down, suddenly self-conscious. Sir had told her nearly every day that everything about her was ugly. A blood-sucking creature like her would never know what it was like to be someone’s missing half. And standing there beside Gunner, so handsome and kind, it hit her harder than she was prepared for. Than she had the ability to process.

“You okay?” he asked.

God, could he be any more wonderful? One day he’d find his missing half the way the rest of his brothers had. And that knowledge hurt.

More reason for her to leave here as soon as the threat was gone. He’d find his female and move her into the compound, into his apartment. With a connection like the ones his brothers had with their mates, Gunner would forget all about her. He wouldn’t have time for her anymore.

He sure as hell wouldn’t want to feed her.

Pain lanced through her.

But she’d always known she’d have to leave, right? And Spencer needed her, wherever he was.

The knights rescued and trained demi-demons here before they left to start their own lives. They would expect her to do the same.

A light weight pressed against her lower back. His hand. She looked up, and his worried gaze was focused on her.

“Luna?”

“I’m fine, just a little nervous, I guess.”

His eyes softened, and she had to remind herself that this was his job; caring for her, being kind to her was all part of being a knight. Nothing more. Though, maybe they were friends as well. She hoped so.

“I’ll be with you the entire time, and if you feel him, if we see him, you throw up your block, okay? You shield yourself from him the minute you feel him close.”

She swallowed hard, painfully. “I will. I promise.”