Page 11 of Solitary Man

He didn’t answer with words but actions. One moment I was on my side of the bed, the next his big, strong hands, capable of building houses, of flying planes, of cupping the side of my face like I would break if he wasn’t careful, were wrapped around me, tugging me across the mattress.

Then I was engulfed in heat as the solid wall of his massive body pressed against mine. He was wearing pants, flannel by the feel, and no shirt. The heat of his skin radiated from him, soaking through my pj’s down to my bones.

He wasn’t just holding me, this was the bear hug of all bear hugs. His strength and warmth engulfed me, was working through me, annihilating my demons, melting them away with every second of comfort he gave.

“I can’t remember the last time I was hugged…can you?” I said into the darkness before I could think better of it.

“Yep,” Cash said, surprising me.

“You can?” My hand was against his hot skin, and I couldn’t help but stroke his chest. It was impossibly wide, strong, and muscled, and a little hairy. Not too much, but more than a dusting. I liked it. There was something comforting about it.

“Ten years.”

My hand stilled. All of me stilled.

Cash made a rough sound, not actual words, but I was pretty sure he was telling me to keep petting him. I started again, and he sighed.

Relief washed through me.

“That’s a long time,” I said, stating the obvious.

“Yep.”

“Was it with an ex-girlfriend?” We’d never really talked about past relationships. It was probably something we should have discussed. But we were trying to get to know each other, why would we waste precious time talking about a person who wasn’t important anymore? Well, that was the reason I hadn’t.

His arm spasmed around me. “My mom.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, my heart hurting for him. He’d shared that he’d lost them in one of his emails.

“It’s okay,” he said gruffly. “And you didn’t,” he said after a moment.

“I didn’t what?”

He was quiet again. His heart raced faster against my palm. The sound of him swallowing convulsively reached me in the dark. “Push.”

I pressed closer to him, I couldn’t help it. His skin smelled amazing. Soap and pine and earthy man. “But you…you left, and I thought…”

“Didn’t wanna disgrace myself,” he bit out, voice tight.

I moved my hand to his bicep and gripped tightly, afraid he’d pull away or try to leave again. “You mean you…”

He swallowed again, thickly. “Yep.”

“Oh.” He was uncomfortable. I didn’t want that. “We’re husband and wife. Granted the way we got here isn’t the normal way of doing things, but I want us to start as we mean to go on. So in the spirit of honesty, I uh, was almost there myself.”

His big body jolted. “What?”

“That kiss, Cash. I’ve never experienced anything like that. If you’d touched me, I could have…I would have, um…come as well.”

Cash cursed and tightened his hold on me, like now he was afraid I’d run from him. Or God, maybe he was about to tell me something I didn’t want to hear and was trying to cushion the blow.

I didn’t know what he was thinking. He was impossible to read. Worst-case scenario, he wasn’t feeling the way I was, amazing kiss aside, and he wanted to drop me off at the general store tomorrow and never look back.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered, making myself ask. There was no missing the tension in his body.

“Need to tell you something,” he rasped.

Oh God.