Page 8 of Glorious Sinner

I shook my head. Even thinking it seemed ludicrous. I’d still didn’t fully understand what had happened.

Don’t you? You felt it. He let you feel it.

Those thoughts wouldn’t leave me alone, because deep down I knew they were true.

And now Tomas had given up on me.

I let my fingernails bite into my palm, let the sting clear my mind, then I got my bag from the back and headed for home.

My apartment was silent when I got there. Still, I tilted my head listening for any sounds as I flicked on the light and walked around checking every corner like I always did when I got home at night. I couldn’t relax until I knew the place was safe, until I knew I was alone.

Ryan had vanished after that last time twelve months ago, and I knew that was down to Tomas, but the fear of my husband’s reappearance was always in the back of my mind. That one day he’d show up on my doorstep and finish the job he’d started. I rubbed the scar on the side of my bicep, one of many and a reminder of that awful night, of the nightmare I’d lived for six years. A reminder I’d have for the rest of my life.

That’s nothing compared to the memories.

I’d tried to leave, more than once, and each time he’d caught me and dragged me back. And he’d made me pay. Finding an escape after that had felt insurmountable. Especially when I’d been cut off from family and friends, had no access to our bank accounts, and my phone was checked routinely.

I’d been trapped, a prisoner. His prisoner.

I glanced at the trash can in the kitchen, at the red box I’d thrown in there this morning poking up a little above the lip. The chocolates had been at my door when I woke this morning. No card.

They’d messed with me all day, had sent terror through me that I hadn’t yet managed to shake off.

Were they from Ryan? Was he back?

I shook my head. He wouldn’t dare come back. No. It was probably just someone from my building, or they’d been left at the wrong door.

I quickly changed, poured myself a glass of wine, and climbed on the couch. There was no way I was sleeping now, so instead I picked a movie and tried to switch off, to concentrate on what I was watching.

If you want me.

Tomas’s voice echoed through my find for the millionth time and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying and failing to cram down the awful twisted feeling coiling in my belly, to block out the thought of never seeing him again.

The truth was Tomas made me feel like I was flesh and blood, that I actually existed.

He was the only person left in my life who knew me. Stephanie before Ryan. The girl I’d been before I’d been stripped down layer by layer until there was nothing left. Before I’d built walls around me ten inches thick. He’d known me when I’d been carefree and fun, when I’d laughed at my dad’s corny jokes and hung out with my friends. When my smiles were genuine and I had the capacity to love with my whole heart.

Without Tomas around to remind me of her, I was afraid she might slip even farther away. That I might finally lose her altogether.

2

Stephanie

I rushed into the living room, nearly tripping over the wineglass I’d left on the floor last night. “Shit.” I’d slept in, like really late. Raul was a good boss, the best, but I was due on stage in thirty minutes and he’d be pissed if he had to find a replacement last minute.

I winced. The hangover wasn’t helping. I’d polished off the bottle of red and opened another in an attempt to get some peace. Not something I usually did, but last night had felt like a bottle-and-a-half kind of night. This was going to be a long-ass day.

Slinging my bag over my shoulder, my costume changes draped over my arm, I grabbed my makeup case, swiped the keys off the table, and yanked the door open.

I stumbled to a stop, almost standing on something on the floor just outside. I blinked down at it, unable to process what I was seeing for a moment, then sucked in a harsh breath through my nose when my brain finally caught up.

A single yellow rose.

My chin jerked up and I scanned the hall, heart thumping like mad behind my ribs.

“Here, baby, I got you this,” Ryan said, one perfect yellow rose clutched in his hand. “You look amazing.”

I looked down at my prom dress and blushed. I felt amazing. I took the rose from him, beaming into his gorgeous blue eyes. How had I gotten so lucky?