Page 44 of Capture The Moment

But now she had to get over another hurdle—Blake’s memorial birthday dinner. When Harper pulled up to Blake’s parents’ house, she noticed that Nina’s car was already there, and she cringed. If Nina hadn’t taken kindly to seeing her with Will, how would she feel if she knew about Finn? Finn had been like an honorary family member, but would they accept her being with him? Not that that was ever going to happen, but still.

Taking a deep breath, she walked up to the front door carrying a container of cookies in front of her like a shield. She and Blake used to walk right in, but now she rang the doorbell just like a stranger would. In fact, after the funeral, Blake’s mom had specifically said, “Don’t be a stranger.” Yet that was exactly what she was starting to feel like, more so with every passing week.

Standing out in the cold, she waited until Nina finally opened the door. “Hi, Harper. Come on in. Mom and Dad are in the kitchen.”

No hugs or kisses were exchanged, which was typical for her and Nina. They’d never warmed up to each other. They were generally polite, but that was it. Like now, when Nina took her coat and hung it up for her.

In contrast, Blake’s parents, Tim and Trish, greeted her with hugs, albeit less enthusiastically then when Blake had been alive. She’d noticed they looked older now, and she felt tears prick her eyes. She had lost her spouse, the love of her life, but they had lost their only son, and if her grief had been crippling, she could only imagine what theirs was like.

“You didn’t have to bring anything, dear,” Trish said, taking the cookies from her.

“I wanted to.” The task of making cookies had helped calm her nerves before coming there. She’d been angry at herself for feeling uneasy about seeing Blake’s family, but she knew what was at the root of it—Finn.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, but Harper seemed to be the only one startled by it.

“Nina, will you get that? I hope you don’t mind, but I invited Finn for dinner too,” Trish said.

Luckily, Harper was standing close to the kitchen counter, and she grabbed it for support as the blood rushed to her feet.

“Are you ok?” Trish asked, looking concerned.

“Yes. I’m fine. I haven’t eaten in a while, and I think my blood sugar just dropped.” Along with my heart.

“Oh. Well, we’re going to eat right away. We were just waiting for you and Finn.”

And speak of the devil, in he walked. “Sorry to keep you waiting,” he said, looking directly at Trish. And then he leaned in and kissed her cheek before shaking Tim’s hand.

When he turned toward Harper, his only acknowledgement was a head bob and a brief, “Harper.”

“Hi.” That was it. One word was all she could muster, when she really wanted to shout, “What in the hell are you doing here?”

Oblivious to Harper’s discomfort, Trish said to Finn, “I should have invited you last year, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. We all know how close you were to Blake.” Her throat caught, and Tim immediately took over.

“Well, now that everyone’s here, let’s eat!”

“Can I help you with anything?” Harper asked, hoping for a distraction.

“No, dear. Nina can help. You and Finn go ahead and take a seat.”

“Can I get you a beer, Finn?” Tim asked.

“No, thanks. Water will be just fine.”

Harper and Finn went through the archway into the dining room, and they stood there for a moment, staring at one another like they were seeing each other for the first time. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here?” she whispered, but it came out as more of a hiss.

“Here you are,” Tim said, entering the room with two glasses of water for them. “Sit, sit. Make yourselves comfortable.”

Yeah, right, thought Harper. Thinking it would be best if she didn’t sit next to Finn, she sat in the nearest chair, and then he took the seat directly across from her. Now she’d be forced to look at him during the entire meal. Just great!

Tim sat down at the head of the table and made small talk with Finn while Trish and Nina brought in the food. Trish was a good cook, and Harper used to really enjoy her meals, but right now, the sight of all that food made her stomach clench.

Once they were all seated, Trish clasped her hands in front of her and nodded at Tim, which Harper knew was his cue to say grace. But this wouldn’t be an ordinary prayer. This would be a heart- wrenching tribute to their son, who would never grace this table again. As usual, Finn looked like the poster boy for composure. If he felt uncomfortable, it was impossible to tell. He simply bowed his head along with the rest of them and waited for Tim to speak.

“Dear, Heavenly Father. We have gathered together today in honor of our lost loved one’s birthday. When you called our son, Blake, to be with you, we were devastated, and our faith was shaken. But it is through your love and grace that we will find healing. Please bless this food that we are about to receive in Jesus’s name. Amen.”

“Amen,” everyone chorused.

When Harper glanced up, Finn was staring at her, but his expression was hard to read. Empathy, sadness, guilt? She couldn’t be sure, but she quickly looked away as Trish passed her a bowl of mashed potatoes. It bothered Harper that she hadn’t cried at Tim’s speech like she had last year, and she blamed it on Finn. He wasn’t supposed to be there, and his presence had thrown her off. She couldn’t look at him without remembering what it felt like to kiss him, to be held by him. If she felt guilty before, it was even worse now. Being in this house—Blake’s family home—with Finn sitting in the same spot that Blake would have sat in—it was just too much.