Page 59 of Irrevocably

Yes, in exchange for my freedom, for leaving this all behind the way Astrid suggests. But I can only do that with Tribunal approval, and I don’t have it yet.

“That’s not possible,” I say, staring at the fire. “The people I work for have strict rules about oath-breakers. It doesn’t matter how far or how fast we run, they would hunt us down eventually. They’d kill you first to punish me, and then they’d kill me. If I was lucky.”

She’s silent a moment, then she says, “If anyone could escape, it would be you.”

Naïve Tinkerbell. She has no idea of the lengths they go to. Even twenty years after my parents died, Enzo is still hunting Lazarus, Killian and Thea. He’ll never stop.

“Say if I did.” I watch the flames leap, consuming the wood. “If I stopped working for them. They’d kill me, which is fine. I’m not afraid of death. But someone else will take my place, and they won’t care about you, Astrid. They will hurt you to get to your father, believe me.”

There’s another long silence as the flames crackle and the wood pops, sap burning.

“So, what you’re saying is that someone will eventually get that information from me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

I’ve never questioned my orders, never gone against them. I do what I’m told, I’m a weapon, and a weapon isn’t supposed to have emotions. But now my gut tightens as an impotent kind of fury grips me.

There’s no way out of this, not for her and not for me.

“No.” I say. “There isn’t.”

“Okay.” This time her voice is so soft I almost don’t hear it. “I’ll do it.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

ASTRID

A sharp pain lodges in my chest as I say the words, but I don’t take them back. He has oaths like Wolf, and while I might find them stupid, he doesn’t. And clearly with the threat of violence and death hanging over him, maybe they’re not so stupid after all.

Perhaps a couple of weeks earlier I would have laughed at the drama of it, but that was before he came into my life. Before a man attacked me and Lucien slit his throat. I don’t know anything about the other pieces on Lucien’s board, but I know the game he’s playing is real.

So no, we can’t just drive away, and he can’t not follow his orders. And even if he does, someone else will come to threaten me, hurt me, and they really will cut pieces off me. That’s … worrying, I’ll admit, but it’s more Dad I’m concerned about. I don’t want him to have to witness that, so maybe it would be better if I asked the questions. Perhaps it would hurt less if he talked to me, rather than some violent killer with a knife?

You still don’t have to give Lucien the information.

No, that’s true. I don’t.

Slowly, Lucien turns from the fire and looks at me, the flames leaping behind him. He could be a demon straight from hell with his broad shoulders, muscled chest and the tattoos that wind around him. But he’s not looking at me like a demon would. I can’t tell exactly what glitters in his eyes now, but it looks like surprise and not a little regret.

“Why?” he asks.

I let out a breath. “Because you said someone would get it out of him anyway. So isn’t it better that he talk to me rather than anyone else? It would certainly be quicker and less complicated, right?”

“You said that it was difficult to talk to him.”

“Yes, I mean, we don’t have a close relationship.” I swallow. “He … kind of pulled away from me when I got older, and I don’t know why. Perhaps because I look like my mom or something, I’m not sure what… But anyway, I can try. I’d rather be the one in control of that conversation than someone else.”

He stares at me, the fire flickering over the tattoos on his shoulders. “You shouldn’t do this for me, Astrid.”

I lift my chin. “I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for Dad. Anyway, you left Wolf alive for me.”

Slowly, Lucien comes toward me, prowling like a tiger. There’s something fierce in his eyes now, something I’ve never seen before, and makes my breath catch. “Like I said,” he murmurs, “I can’t promise your father won’t be hurt.”

“I know.” I steel myself. “But you said you needed him alive, so that’s enough for me.”

“I can’t make the same promise about your friend, you know that, don’t you?”

My gut dips at the thought of Wolf. Still trapped in whatever shed Lucien put him in. “You said you wouldn’t kill him⁠—”

“I said I wouldn’t kill him back at the parking lot,” he interrupts. “But he’s an officer of the club. An enforcer. And the club is not going to go quietly. There will be blood, Astrid. There will be casualties, and I can’t guarantee your friend won’t be one of them.”