Page 30 of Zodiac Beasts

I raised my brows. “I know this is hard for someone like you to imagine, but some of us get completely passed over our whole lives and don’t get much choice in the matter.”

“That is legitimately hard to imagine.” My obnoxiously gorgeous and suave mate, who has never wanted for companionship, looked genuinely perplexed by such a concept. “You’re a woman, and you’re beautiful. I know you said you were picked on as a kid, but I’m sure you had options. You just didn’t want those options.”

“Incorrect.” I shook my head. He genuinely couldn’t understand. It was like talking to the most privileged aristocrat who couldn’t fathom why the peasants didn’t just eat cake once they ran out of bread. “I was bullied by everyone: men, women, classmates, strangers. It was like my whole existence repulsed people.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” He scrunched his nose, seriously perplexed. “You… there’s nothing repulsive about you. Not to…” He trailed off, but he didn’t share thoughts or feelings with me this time. Was there some way to shut that off? Before I could ask, he continued, “Why would you be repulsive to humans?”

“To humans?” Wait, was I legitimately magically repulsive to humans? Is that what my entire existence has been?

“I don’t find you repulsive at all. Quite the opposite. Almost too much the opposite.” His laugh was unusually nervous. “I actually thought you might be part siren or succubus with how intensely you draw me in.”

Me? A siren? The full blown guffaw laugh of what-the-fuckery that followed was unbecoming enough to disprove any such theory.

“You thought I was a siren? Have you heard me sing?” If I ever wondered if Marcus was truly into me, then that insane assessment cleared it right up. No one would call me a seductress in any version of any reality, unless they were out of their mind with love. “Maybe there’s something similar in our bloodlines that negates the effect.” I wished Mom had told me literally anything, because now I was even more annoyed by not knowing my own body. Did I repel humans and attract magic things? Or was it more complicated than that?

“I wonder.” He was studying me, while looking rather distraught himself. “How about this. Tonight, we go somewhere together, and you can shift in a controlled environment, so we can try to figure out what you are.”

“Won’t you transform tonight too? Last I checked, full moon Marcus isn’t exactly a methodical monster of science.” I did like the idea though. I just wasn’t confident that it would actually work.

Marcus shook his head. “Not tonight. I’ve never triggered the Taurus. I don’t honestly know how. If anything, this is probably the best month to do this.”

“Okay.” I agreed without thinking. It wasn’t clear to me whether I genuinely trusted him or if I simply wasn’t scared of consequences anymore, but to be honest, I just wanted some guidance, and lately he was the only person who was giving me any. “Let’s do it.”

Chapter 16

The picnic drew to a close as the sun dipped low on the horizon. Everyone in the club seemed to have a wonderful time, from the humans to the Fae, and despite all the thoughts weighing heavily on my mind this month, I was glad to see my students having a good time. It was a shame that I constantly had to remind myself why I loved teaching these days. Life had been simpler when my monster was lonely.

Marcus, conversely, had been clinging to Lila ever since she got back from wandering about. I would expect as much from a newly mated pair. Though it wasn’t like I couldn’t sense her uncertainty. It didn’t matter that his sealed pact muddled my incomplete claim. My Incubus gifts would always allow me access to her honest emotions if I wanted to, for better or for worse. He was so smitten, and she was so uncommitted, I actually felt a bit bad for him. But he was always one to learn his lessons the hard way. and I was too often the one to teach him.

I pulled my attention back to the rest of the club. Linda had already headed out. Not surprising, as a female Omega shouldn’t be out during a full moon with this many unknowns around. While she didn’t have the danger of the diluted bloodline of a hybrid, meaning she would have control over her shift, that didn’t make her much safer around the heightened aggression the full moon brought to all of our kind.

I glanced back at Lila, who had just said something to my half-brother. He headed off towards the school building, then she approached the kissing booth and started gathering up the decorations.

I shook my head and walked over.

“Props don’t have to be packed up until the morning.” I said, giving her a full body jump scare. She was touchy today. “You’re free for the night. You can even watch the fireworks from a viewing area inside the school, if you’d like. It’s safer for those who don’t have any choice in their transformation.” It had always been Graves’ policy to protect the most vulnerable among us. An inside viewing area was subtle enough that it wouldn’t seem questionable to our oblivious, non-magical students. The humans never protested the curfew after a long day of activities and entertaining other clubs, anyway. These sorts of events were enjoyable but exhausting, so it was a win for everyone.

“Oh.” Lila nodded, then paused. “Will you be watching the fireworks from inside, Professor?” It almost felt odd now for her to avoid using my name when it was just the two of us. After I’d shot her down so harshly earlier, it was the appropriate response.

It was good to see her accepting that so quickly. We needed distance. Her pact with Marcus should be a great thing for the stress of this predicament. If it grounded her and convinced her to commit to a more appropriate relationship, I should be all for it.

Even if I could still sense that apprehension.

“No, I tend to distance myself from students on a night like this. Even in the safety of moon filtering glass, there’s always a degree of danger that’s not worth the risk. While only the full moon forces a shift, the lunar light of the waning and waxing moon still builds magic the rest of the month. It’s part of why aggression and energy can feel especially intense even during daylight leading up to the event of the night.”

“Have you ever attacked a student?” She asked with an innocent desire to understand. “Other than me, I mean.” She added for unfortunate clarity.

“No. But I was always cautious about it to assure it wasn’t an issue.” I frowned. “In the past when I’ve shifted, I’ve always sought out like demons. The results weren’t necessarily pretty, but I’d never targeted a human or lesser creature at least. Once I’d made enough mistakes to be well versed in my triggers, I worried less about hiding myself inside unless it was a particularly volatile star sign,” I glanced up at the soft hues of the sunset. “I’ve never actually experienced my Taurus, so I don’t know what will force it. It’s safer to just avoid any possible complications.”

“What do you think might trigger it?” She looked up pensively. “It’s supposed to be something tied to some trait of the zodiac, right? Like getting wet as an Aquarius? Or being irritated as an Aries. So what would the Taurus be? It can’t be stubbornness, or you definitely would have hit it.”

I laughed by accident. “Definitely not stubbornness. But it’s hard to say. Some of the interpretations by the stars seem rather loose. Like simply asking for consent as a Pisces.” I cut myself short, realizing what I’d just admitted. I cleared my throat when her eyes widened, then immediately tried to brush it off and keep the conversation moving. “It’s complicated. But as an Earth sign, I don’t take risks during an Earth month.”

“That’s fair.” Lila shrugged, then glanced back to where Marcus had wandered. She bit her lip for several seconds before she turned to me and asked, “So can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.” I had a feeling I knew where this was going. Though I was just as guilty of this sin, I was sure that Marcus hadn’t told her much about what sealing their pact entailed.

“if… if one day we uh…” She stumbled over her words, then started again. “Th-theoretically, what happens when shifters complete a mate pact?” She rubbed at her neck, likely unconsciously. “Does it make you magically committed for life or something? Would it change your brain chemistry? Or change how you feel about someone?”