Page 55 of Zodiac Monsters

Chapter 23

After over two weeks of stewing after the last full moon, Lila was at last back in the comfort of my home for a blood date. Two weeks meant we were already over half way to another full moon, which meant some significant groveling was going to be in order if I didn’t want her wandering into Adrian’s bed again. We were on good terms, yes, but were we on fucking terms? Not really.

She was apparently more comfortable taking her chances with him than me, and I couldn’t say when that had happened exactly. I’d started to gather that the real mistake I’d been making with her was trying to be this sweet, friendly, nonthreatening companion. I foolishly focused on making her like me with a healthy, respectable puppy dog act, and while I’d won her friendship and small slivers of her trust, I hadn’t given her the impression that we had romantic chemistry. This girl who was bullied so much of her life was apparently much more attracted to rough assholes: the kind of guys who pushed her around and told her they didn’t want her, while subsequently bending her over their desk and fucking her like she was air itself. You seek out what you know, I guess.

My whole body shivered as I shook off that visual.

The irony was that I was already naturally the kind of guy she was actually looking for, while Adrian was, also ironically, a lot more likely to cherish and respect and wear kid gloves around her if he could. If I was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, he was very much a sheep in wolf’s clothing.

The challenge here would simply be figuring out how to make that transition with her without her feeling like I deceived her further.

Who would have thought that lying to a girl wasn’t all that helpful? At least not when you wanted more than just a single night in her pants anyway. By the devil, I hadn’t been honest with a sexual partner since the first one I’d ever had, and I murdered him after, so there wasn’t any proof it had happened. I barely knew what I looked like without my mask. Adrian was the only person I didn’t give a fuck about impressing, and the last thing I was going to do was treat her like I treated him.

Whatever I was going to do, I needed to do it sooner than later. When the Aries moon came, like fuck was I going to be her second choice again.

It was actually funny that I only had to worry about these shared feelings once a month though. What an odd concept that she only had sex on the full moon, while living a chaste, celibate life in between.

The thought passed through my mind exactly as I realized I was getting laid even less often than that. On the contrary, since meeting her back in January, I hadn’t been with anyone else. It was now April, and I’d literally gotten off once, total, with one person, total, and I wasn’t even of sane mind or my standard physical body when I did it. If I hadn’t shifted into the Aquarius, I would have abstained all year.

Holy fuck.

Was this woman driving me into a life of celibacy? Was I a weak simpleton? The little virgin has gotten off probably ten times more than I have, as well as having done so with more partners than I have. Was this where I had to start asking myself if I was as cool and attractive as I thought I was?

So I was sitting here, begging for this woman to give me a bone, while she was playing musical dicks with me and my brother. Were we it though? I didn’t get the impression that she was talking to anyone else, but who could say.

My mind drifted back to that so called friend of hers who she worked with. I still needed to look into that.

Well, I would feel it through our bond if she slept with someone else. Theoretically, I’d even feel it if she masturbated… probably. She wouldn’t feel me though, since our bond was only one way right now. That was a shame. I could have had some fun with that power.

Ahem.

Either way, it was worth considering that she was also getting frustrated in these weeks of lead up, and I could probably win some favor by offering to scratch that itch for her.

Okay. Clear path forward: Honesty. Appeal to her hormones. Be a psychopath.

“I hope you weren’t getting too weak waiting for me. Sorry I haven’t been fulfilling my promise.” Lila’s voice drew my attention away from my otherwise cringe-worthy thoughts, and I turned to face her with a smile.

Wait, should it have been a sneer?

Honesty. We want charming psychopath, not regular, cruel psychopath.

She beamed back at me, and I determined that the smile was the right call. She’d been fixing her helmet hair in the bathroom, and I loved seeing her making an effort for me again.

“I’ll be the first to admit that human vegetable blood is nowhere near the level of my Baby Doll’s blood. But I promise I survived.” I paced over and slid a lock of her silky hair behind her ear. By the devil, she is beautiful. “I want this to be enjoyable for you, not an obligation. If you’re ever busy or not feeling up to it, don’t stress on missing an appointment for even a moment.”

“You really are the sweetest. It’s still hard to believe you’re an Alpha.” She giggled, and I fought an eye twitch. Finding the balance between rough and sweet was going to be a challenge with this one when she responded like that.

Not the least of which because the last statement hadn’t been acting. The more I interacted with her, the more I was starting to realize I didn’t want to be cruel to her, and coddling her was more my natural response to the energy she put off. This commitment to being truthful was going nowhere.

I hate every part of this.

No, this is fine. I’ll fix it.

“You think kindness is a sign of weakness?” I moved my hand from her hair to her chin, then I secured her firmly with my thumb and forefinger. “If caring about your mental state and well-being makes me appear less powerful to you, then I suppose I can wear that badge proudly.” I nudged forward with just enough pressure that she had to take a step back to keep her balance. I took a step forward, still securing her jaw so her face stayed in line with mine.

I forced her to retreat again, and nervousness overtook her expression. I very much enjoyed that look on her.

“But I think some nuance has been lost here.” Another step, and the backs of her knees hit the couch. I placed an open palm on her chest, then I pushed her into the soft cushions. “Being an Alpha isn’t characterized by your cruelty, your roughness, or your ability to abuse others.” I knelt before her. “Being an Alpha is more about being a protector.” I slipped my fingers beneath her right thigh, then I leaned in closer, so I could place her knee over my shoulder. Her cheeks flared in a delightful shade of crimson. “It’s about understanding your lover well enough to fulfill their needs without having to ask.” I turned my head and pressed my lips to her inner thigh.