Page 39 of Zodiac Monsters

“Lesson time. Since I’m your professor, Miss Denton, let me teach you a little something about magic, shifters, and the zodiac.” His hands slid back up to my neck. He interlaced his fingers around my throat, and rested his thumbs over my pulse on each side. He was no longer squeezing, but he assured that I knew he could if he wanted to. “As you may or may not have gathered, under the full moon, Hybrid species don’t have the same control as full bred shifters. We’re subject to unique effects, which are heavily influenced not simply by our crossbred genetics, but also by our status within the shifter hierarchy.”

“Hierarchy?” I forced myself to engage, because I didn’t want him to see me stumble. I’d heard a little from Ceto, but he’d barely scratched the surface, and I wasn’t in the right headspace to recall all the specifics. My focus was entirely on my breathing, while in the back of my mind, I was fighting back the thought that he could take that simple function away from me at any time with the slightest increase in pressure.

“Alphas are at the top of the chain, commanding unmatched strength and respect. It’s great privilege to be an Alpha.” He pressed his thumbs more firmly into my pulse. I could feel my heartbeat in my neck as vividly as I could feel his through his touch. “Omegas are a valuable commodity who perpetuate the species. They’re widely coveted for their fertility, and it’s a gift to all shifters to be an Omega.” He moved his grip upward until he was forcing me to lift my chin, then he gripped my chin and angled my head in line with his. He looked down at me, holding me in a cruel gaze from above. “Betas live at the bottom. They’re the servants, the average, and the mundane. Their place is to be the drones in a functional world that serves to uplift and ease the passage of those more powerful, so Alphas and Omegas can move the species forward. You could say they’re a disposable but necessary cog in a cruel machine, like peasants among kings and sorcerers.”

I swallowed, at a loss for why he was telling me all this, yet filled with unexplainable dread at whatever point was coming.

Adrian released me, but remained at my back. I let my chin drop, and I hugged my arms around my chest, finding comfort in that allowance.

“That sounds cruel and archaic.” I said. “What if you’re a Beta and you want to make a difference in the world? What if you’re an Alpha and you don’t want to push people around? What if you’re an Omega and you don’t want kids?”

“Similar to astrology, these roles are innate and something we’re born with. Heart is, at times, secondary to the restrictions of biology.”

That may have been what he told himself, but I had a hard time believing heart was ever out of the equation among sentient beings. “You don’t still live by those rules, do you?”

“Yes and no.” He betrayed no emotion in his tone or expression. “The roles were once much more strict when shifters lived in their own closed off societies. Back then, opportunities, positions, and housing was segregated based on your status. Now that magic kind has come to coexist and intermingle more, many of those social expectations have been revamped to better reflect the modern world. What was socially acceptable thousands of years ago would draw too much attention now.”

I exhaled, like that mattered to me in any real way. “Then why does it matter?” This was too open. Too much information. Something was off. “If none of those rules apply today, are they really all so different?”

“Well, while Omegas are no longer openly and widely bought and sold as breeding stock, Betas are no longer trapped in positions of servitude, and Alphas aren’t always expected to run their townships, there are still innate instincts and hard wired characteristics that can’t be changed no matter how much social expectations evolve.”

“I’m listening.” I wanted him to get to the point. The lesson was great and all, but there was a clear and obvious sinister bend to every word, and the uncertainty was eating me alive.

“Please do, because this is the fun part.” He answered as if I’d just walked into the trap he’d been setting. “You’re a smart girl, so I’m sure you recall that things change for those who aren’t just shifters. Shifters are the only species who exhibit Alpha, Beta, and Omega designations, so the Alpha half of me functions differently than it would if I simply carried the blood of various shifters instead of that of multiple species. For example, Alpha hybrids of the Zodiac like myself and my half-brother will only trigger their transformation with a specific set of circumstances, and we’ll move through a modicum of different forms that match the season, opposed to a full blooded or non-Alpha Zodiac shifter who only exists as a singular star sign.”

“I already know this.” I fought my fear with defiance.

He combed his fingers through my hair again with eerie tenderness. “But when our bodies change, the battle between our inner beasts robs our human minds of all control and consciousness. Anything I do in that form, I won’t be aware of until I shift back. All of the memories will hit me at once, and I’m left to pick up the pieces of my monster’s transgressions. They’re unfortunate circumstances, but there are worse things.”

“What’s worse than that?” I didn’t want to face him as I took in that statement.

So he hadn’t been conscious at all when he’d been with me? He only knew after the fact? Marcus had implied as much, but it was different when hearing it explained with more detail and finality. Not being in control was one thing, but having no consciousness was another.

I fought the urge to visibly frown. Possessed or not, magic or not, the idea that I lost my virginity to someone with no ability to choose me in earnest somehow felt worse. I didn’t care about the institution of purity or the symbolic nonsense of my virginity, but somewhere in my heart, I’d told myself that he attacked me because he’d wanted me on a subconscious level that he couldn’t resist anymore. It was more comforting to believe he didn’t pick me simply because he was in a state of mania where absolutely anyone would have sufficed.

I couldn’t say that out loud though. Not to him. He’d only shoot me down further and make me feel worse, reminding me that he didn’t want me, that our relationship was inappropriate, and that we didn’t have anything real here at all.

Why was it so hard for me to see him every day, while it was so easy for him to reject me?

I let my mind reel, and Adrian continued to thread his fingers through my hair, overpowering and overwhelming me with that scent of rosemary and cigarettes.

Then he bent down and whispered into my ear. “Worse, Lila…” His hot breath against my skin had my whole body rising in temperature. “Would be being born a Hybrid Beta.” He fisted my hair roughly and held my head in place. I couldn’t fight him if I tried. “A Beta will always be forced into shifted form under the moon, and they only get one form.” The draw of air brushed my skin as he sniffed along my neck like a wild animal. “One irresistible form that any and every predator will want to claim for themselves.” The tip of his nose brushed my jaw. “One who has no power, no strength, and no ability to resist subjugation, and will have no choice but to bend to their aggressor’s will. An easy, breakable, and disposable toy.”

My lip was quivering, and I couldn’t stop it anymore. Every word was a visceral threat, but I was too rattled to vocalize a protest.

His lips brushed the top of my ear in a way that felt more vicious than sensual. “To make matters worse, Lila,” my name had become a curse on his tongue, “a Beta retains their consciousness while shifted, so they’ll remember every wrong committed against them during a frenzied night under lunar influence.” He stood upright, but I felt no relief as he drew his hands through my long hair, lifting the curtain of black locks behind my head like a pony tail. “You become the perfect slave, expected to serve and satiate any Alpha who has a taste for sweet, mutable little Virgos.”

Those focused breaths became hyperventilation at record speed. I jerked forward, trying to find some safety from that declaration, but he kept me firmly in place.

This had nothing to do with me—nothing. I wasn’t anything like that. I shouldn’t be taking him so seriously, nor should I be identifying with the deep seeded terror that statement was pumping through my core. I was human. Human. Not a shifter, not a beta, not a monster, a beast, or a magic, supernatural creature from hell.

I’m human.

“Stand up.” He spoke harshly, a demand without a hint of softness or mere suggestion.

I did as I was told, even though my mind was screaming at my body not to. He kept my hair balled in his fists behind my head.

“Now turn towards the window.” His tone wasn’t his usual stern and serious. There was an indescribable frequency to it, and every word rung through me like he was executing code programmed into a robot.