Page 20 of Zodiac Monsters

“So if you have to drink from someone every week, a-as long as you can do it without killing me…”

She was just a pawn. She was a toy in my game. She wasn’t genuinely a person who mattered to me. I didn’t have to be loyal to a pawn or a plaything.

“Is that okay?”

And yet the thought of upsetting her—My whole fucking chest constricted just imagining the hurt that would put in her eyes. Would that hurt her? If I was with another woman? Did she care about my loyalty? That would mean she wanted me.

I hoped that was true.

Holy fuck, I wanted to punch myself in the face for even thinking these thoughts internally.

Here we go a-fucking-gain. What the hell was she, and what gave her the power to draw this kind of bullshit from my brain. Moreover, why couldn’t I get a hold on it? When I was separate from her, I could acknowledge her positive traits while still thinking of her as disposable. While in her presence, I was a smitten simpleton. This was abhorrent, and it had only become more intense as I got more tangled with her.

“Marcus?”

The sound of my name in her beautiful voice forced me from my trance, and I had to finally look at her.

“Yes.” I said immediately. “Yes, I would like that. And no I won’t hurt you. I promise I have more restraint on a normal day than I had that night. The full moon is a special circumstance.” Keep talking. Get back to explaining. Talk about anything other than the fact that my body and my brain is legitimately ready to propose to some woman I don’t even know, based on nothing but the goddamn tractor beam of her existence.

“Right, so that’s the other part I really need to understand.” She smiled at me, a blush painting her cheeks, and fuck if my own face wasn’t uncharacteristically warm at the image. “So… are you conscious while you’re in that form? Can you control what you’re doing? Or are you more like a werewolf?”

“No, no, and yes.” I shook my head. I can do this. Focus on staying the course. Facts. Bland, boring facts. “The curse of a half-shifter is similar to that of a were-species in the sense that the full moon has heavy influence over our bodies and minds, and it can force shifting when exposed to the full brunt of lunar light. But unlike a werewolf, we can’t pass on our bloodline via bites, scratches, or general bloodletting. We’re simply slaves to the night. That’s why Graves is built with glass that keeps out both rays of sun and moonlight.”

She adjusted on the blanket. “Wait, it is?”

“It is. The school was built for my kind, remember?” Okay, this was easier. These confessions were innocuous and bland and revealed nothing personal about myself. “Fortunately, as an Alpha, I’m at least allowed the grace of triggers. Outside my birth month, I’ll only shift under certain circumstances. During my birth month, all it takes is a fraction of a second of exposure to the moon, and I’m completely under its control.”

She scrunched up her nose. “Is it different if you’re a Beta?”

I nodded. “A half breed Beta will shift every month they’re exposed to the moon, and they’re only allotted a singular form. They won’t get a choice or the mercy of triggers. There are a number of inconvenient side effects, I hear, but that’s all idle chatter I’ve heard over the years. I’ve never met one, so I don’t know all the details.” Unless you, my dear, are a Beta. It was possible, but I had no way of confirming without the blood test or observing her on the next moon. “Conversely, a full blooded Zodiac Shifter can only shift into their own sign, and they maintain full conscious control, even at the height of lunar influence. They’re just like any other shifter, and their form is simply an extension of themselves, opposed to a wild, uncontrollable compulsion.”

I thought on that for a moment. She’d gotten wet in the pools early on during the field trip, so she could have been an Alpha who triggered her shift. But she seemed entirely too conscious and entirely too unspectacular in form. She didn’t resemble the Aquarius in any way, so it was unlikely to assume she was a fellow hybrid Alpha.

Her scent could also belong to an Omega though. That enticing apple pie had all the notes of prey begging to be eaten alive. I wished I knew more about how that combination was burdened, but I’d only personally met one half-blooded Omega, and I’d never spent a moon with one.

Or hell, it was still possible she could be something else entirely, considering nothing about her made sense. Though she appeared to be shifted on the last full moon, there was no way to say what she had even shifted into. I’d assumed she was in Virgo form purely based on my attraction to her, but what the fuck did I know anymore? Without having witnessed the exact point the moon had possessed her on that field trip, anything I came up with now was pure speculation.

“So you’re really not a Beta?” She asked next, and I fucking choked on my saliva and accidentally bit my own tongue.

“Are you fucking serious?” I stared at her in utter disbelief. Calm down. CALM DOWN.I’ve been doing the sweet puppy dog thing around her. She knows not of which she speaks. It’s an innocent mistake and a testament to the quality of my acting. It was a compliment, really. A compliment. “You thought I was a Beta?” My voice hit a higher octave than usual, and I would not be acknowledging that further.

“I mean, you always seem so nice…”

“What about Adrian?”

“Oh, well he’s obviously an Alpha.” Lila said matter-of-factly, and I took it all back. I didn’t like this woman at all. She wasn’t that smart, and she was the worst judge of character. Fuck this. I’m going to go bite all the random women I can find. “That’s a lot to wrap my head around.” She admitted, interrupting my thoughts while staring blankly at the duck pond in the middle of the park. “I wanted to come up with a million more questions for you, but I don’t even know what else to ask at this point.”

“Then think on it for a while. Let’s set aside Demonology 101 for the day and just enjoy each other’s company.” I said through a forced smile. She seriously thought Adrian was an Alpha, and I was a Beta. I would not be getting over this. I mean, Adrian IS an Alpha, but still. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be around once you figure out what other questions you want to ask.” Continuing to talk was the only way to drag my mind from the annoyed pit she’d pushed me into.

Un-fucking-believable.

“You’re so sweet.” Her smile was as real as the glint in her eye, and I demanded that my heart not melt like I was pathetic, while my mind was still enraged. “I guess being an Alpha and being a mean, stuffy jerk don’t go hand in hand.” Damn fucking right they don’t. “Thanks for always being so nice to me. I wish you had given me a heads up about the vampire shifter thing, but I appreciate that you respect me enough to be honest with me when I ask.”

Okay, good recovery. “Always, Baby Doll.” Always-ish? We didn’t need to talk about the night of the Capricorn. I couldn’t have given her a one sided mark if I hadn’t come inside her, anyway, so it was a necessary evil. I was, after all, so sweet.

The rest of the date passed by with pleasant enough getting-to-know-you small talk. I learned that she liked comic books and video games and science, and was obsessed with spaceships and sci-fi movies. I knew she still considered herself human, so I didn’t bother to quiz her on her heritage again. We’d work up to that. Maybe on the full moon night of the Pisces, I’d be able to show her a mirror after triggering her own transformation, so there could be no argument or denial. It was just a matter of time, and I was a very, very patient man when I had to be.

I mean, I just let her call me a Beta. Really, I was a fucking saint.