Page 68 of Of Monsters and Mazes

“Just exhausted.” I shook my head, refusing to admit any such thing out loud. I also wouldn’t admit, internally or externally, that I didn’t mind sitting with him like this. Sometimes I missed having someone to break up the monotony of eternal life. Alessi used to be that person. That slight boredom probably explained why I was paying so much attention to Butterfly. “This year’s Labyrinth has been a roller coaster already, and we still have two full sectors to go.”

Alessi’s ears were partially shifted, and he scratched himself softly at the base. “Agreed. I’ve never gotten this involved with a tribute. It’s a tremendous amount of work keeping a human’s sanity and body intact, it seems.”

What a strange sentiment, but it applied to both of us. I didn’t typically get this involved either. I tossed another log on the fire before I thought to respond. “Why are you so involved?”

He stared at me with his always mischievous smile. “A better question might be: why are you? I know you’re obligated to place a tracking mark on the tributes before they enter the maze, but you put far more than just a tracking mark. That’s full implantation. I didn’t know you could put a mate bond on a human, but even if you can, why would you?”

I opened my mouth, but I paused to gather my words before I answered. “It was kind of an accident?”

“Is that an answer or a question?” Alessi raised a brow.

“I don’t know.” I laughed sheepishly. “I took her into a dream, where I nailed her to a table, and the marks stuck. They never stick.” I couldn’t talk about this around Jericho or Rai, but I knew Alessi was a safe confidante, despite everything. How I’d come to trust a spy, I couldn’t say.

“That explains the last challenge,” he said through a half smile. “But that’s all it explains. The marks stuck when you put them on me, because it’s a common pact between those of Tartarus and those of Olympus, but why would they work on her?”

“Maybe the same reason she heals so fast.” I rubbed at my neck, then sank my fingers into the material of my scarf. Alessi watched the motion intently. I never told him why I wore this scarf over my heart. He’d seen my deepest scars, but he didn’t know their meaning. “It’s not like I’ve marked a lot of people. Maybe there was something I did differently while I was in her head without realizing it. It was kind of a mess in there.”

Alessi said nothing for several moments. He watched the fire, and his fox ear turned slightly in the direction Butterfly was sleeping. Her breathing remained steady and calm.

“Do you regret it?” He asked next. “That you’ve taken on the physical sensations of a tribute in the most violent and traumatic time in her life?”

“Why would I?” I shrugged. “I haven’t felt anything in years, and one peek into her mind was enough to know she was about to make me feel a lot.” My own smile betrayed me. I wiped the expression from my face with the back of my hand. “Even if it wasn’t intentional, she’s not exactly my least favorite tribute we’ve had.”

“Fair enough.” If he noticed my expression, he didn’t tease me for it for once. “She has been an enjoyable passage of time thus far. I’m just surprised you’re okay with taking on all the associated trouble.”

“The games always mean trouble, so I was obligated anyway.” I shook my head, then grabbed a burning log to flip it and increase the heat. “Now what’s your excuse?”

“You.” Alessi didn’t hesitate at all to admit that. He met my eyes, and as much as I wanted to look away, I didn’t. “It’s always about you.” He sighed as he broke our shared gaze. “I saw the marks on her and the way you got so protective around her. I thought if I stepped in, I’d get another chance to work everything out with you.”

“There’s nothing to work out.” I shook my head, then stood from my seat. I kept my eyes on the fire. “I’m loyal to the king, and you’re loyal to no one and nothing. You’ll never understand the hierarchy of devils, just like I’ll never understand the flights of fancy of angels, so how are we ever going to see eye to eye on anything?”

Alessi frowned. A rare expression on him. He was always playful, never taking anything seriously, but as much as I hated to acknowledge it, he always took me seriously. Maybe I should have felt special for that. Or maybe I should have spoken more carefully knowing that.

“The irony,” he began, speaking slowly, like every single word had to be measured, “is that I’m the most loyal person you know. I’m still here, still trying to win you over, because of that loyalty. The difference between you me is that my loyalty is based on respect and admiration, whereas yours is based on nothing but power.”

“Bull shit.” I knew that wasn’t true. He’d betrayed his entire realm and everyone in it by staying in Tartarus. I’d murdered a lesser devil right in front of him, and yet his lords still didn’t know our one weakness, because he’d never reported it. He’d never explained how he’d justified that level of treason. How could anyone justify that? His family, his friends, any lovers he may have had—he’d betrayed everyone in Olympus by keeping my secrets. Alessi was someone who played fast and loose with affection. He was no one’s true friend. “Who have you ever been loyal to? How long are you going to keep running around in this maze with me, before you scamper home to your old life? How much more information do you need to gather for the Gods before you’re allowed to stop monitoring us?”

“Is that why you think I’m still here?” His laugh was hollow. He ruffled a hand through his soft red hair, and the way each strand fell out of place made me want to smooth it out for him.

Stupid.

“How should I know? Your whole existence revolves around lies and deceit.”

Alessi stood next, and he slightly exceeded my height, even with the addition of my horns to give me another inch. He cocked back his chin, putting me below him, and he narrowed his eyes. “You’re the Dream Weaver, aren’t you? Why don’t you sink into my mind and dig through my deepest insecurities and find out the real reason I’m still here? Don’t worry, I’ll hold still. You won’t even have to prey on me while I sleep this time.”

Alessi shifted his fingernails into dagger-like claws.

I swallowed and took a step back, not wanting to play with any part of that flame. “If I hadn’t done that, we would have lost the war.”

“No you wouldn’t have.” His hand shot to my neck, and he clamped down with his claws to stop me from running. “Because I never would have picked my realm over you.” His tone grew in anger and severity with every word. I’d earned that. “Not then, not now, and never in any version of the future. It was you who never trusted me, even when you snuck into my darkest thoughts without my permission, and shared them with your goddamn king. Because you were afraid of what you saw. Because you couldn’t make yourself believe that I fucking loved you, and you decided to ruin everything out of denial.” He released me and shifted back his nails abruptly. He took a step back, and I stayed in place. “Until the end of time, right?”

I dropped my chin. My heart beat heavy in my scarred chest. Those were the words I’d said to Jericho a thousand times. The same ones he heard me say in the nightmare that I’d built in his mind, using every fear he had to create a dream so vivid, our relationship was never the same.

Those were words spoken between fated devils who could never sever their bond.

“Until the end of time.” I uttered back quietly and under my breath.

How could I explain to an angel of Olympus that, when devils are born, we share a soul, and when one becomes king, he takes a piece of each of our magic in a show of control? How do you tell someone who always lived in a world of freedom, that this was a realm of servitude?