Page 43 of Zodiac Hybrids

I swallowed and searched for the newfound confidence that seemed to be surging through me tonight. If I said something too bold or too forward, I’d just pretend the full moon really did affect humans too. It would be easier to play this off in the morning if I just blamed the stars. A guy like Adrian Karras couldn’t argue with that, anyway, so I basically had free reign to take a chance without real consequences.

“So I…” I began, then I stopped to take a deep breath, and I unconsciously placed my fingers over the mark on my lip. Say it, Lila. “I know this whole zodiac thing is complicated for you, and after the last full moon, it’s particularly complicated between…” I stopped myself again, not able to commit to the terrifying word us. I knew we weren’t an “us.” Instead, I finished with, “you and me. But… Does it always have to be so tense? Even if you regret what you did, I’ve forgiven you. I’m not going to hold it over your head, and while I don’t totally understand what you are or all the rules, I get that you weren’t in your right mind. I guess I just want a chance to still get to know you, just as my teacher and mentor.”

Adrian zipped up his bag without looking my way or saying a word. He hoisted the heavy telescope over his shoulder, then he stood and turned towards the hotel.

“I’ve already marked you, Lila.” His voice was as quiet as it was grave. “There’s no casual and comfortable between us anymore. There are no reasonable boundaries and professionalism.” He held his ground, while his body language said he wanted to run from me, and those turquois eyes said they wanted to pin me beneath him on this hill. “Right now, my instincts are begging me to give into you. Your scent is clawing at my brain, and I’m only in control at all because we’re not under the influence of the Capricorn this month. Is that the kind of relationship you want to perpetuate? Something rough, carnal, and completely out of control?”

That question did something to me that I didn’t want to admit out loud. “You look like you’re controlling yourself just fine.” I shook my head. “I’m not scared of you, and I hate that you think I am. That you really believe I should be. If last month was the worst of your transformations, I don’t see any reason to be afraid of any other.”

He visibly swallowed before he faced me again. “I don’t think you understand. I don’t have control in any of my forms while triggered. Last month was simply my only guaranteed transformation. The rest are potentially even more brutal if the shift is initiated, depending on the characteristics of the sign. The only difference is I can avoid certain catalysts to prevent those issues, but if I do hit them, I can’t promise I won’t hurt you.”

“Oh.” There was still so much I didn’t understand.

“As it stands, by the time we hit my moon again, you’ll have finished out the year, and I won’t have to be around you anymore. But to suggest we become friends? That’s too dangerous. Being your mentor in a professional capacity is one thing, but the last thing I need is to feel like I can let down my guard around you.”

I frowned, then I drew my lower lip into my mouth, and I ran my tongue over his mark. He visibly shivered as a result. Even touching that mark seemed to affect him. Why did everything about me make such an impact, when he was just fine with everyone else? He could flirt with Linda, he could casually interact with Marcus, he could teach the class and answer anyone else’s questions with easy confidence, but he couldn’t answer mine. He couldn’t even be in the same room with me alone without claiming he was out of his mind.

“If that’s really how you feel, why did you mark me?” I knew I wasn’t experienced in relationships, but this didn’t seem like normal or reasonable behavior for anyone. “Won’t this just make it worse to be around each other?”

“Because that actually keeps you safer. It’s not really safer for me, but it’s safer for you.” He tilted back his chin, and I felt smaller as a result. “I know you believe yourself to be human, but right now, you’re giving off a scent that would draw any and every magic being in a twenty mile radius into your bed if you left your door unlocked and unguarded. The only thing that will keep the beasts at bay… is the mark of a potential mate. It’s not perfect, since we haven’t completed the pact—which we won’t be doing, for the record.” He shook his head before I could begin to ask. “But it will heavily restrict your pheromones to only those with a claim on you, until you make the choice to accept or reject the mate pact.”

There was so much to take in in that statement that I couldn’t begin to process it all. Not the least of which was this nonsense about me putting off a scent. I didn’t smell anything other than that mix of tobacco and rosemary. “So I can reject you or I can seal this pact? Is a completed pact permanent?”

He shook his head. “A pact can be rejected, but it’s much more difficult and complex than making one, and the consequences aren’t reversible after that. A one-sided mark can be rejected more than once, but once blood has been mixed consensually, it’s a do or die situation.”

“So kind of like a human divorce.” I attempted to lighten the mood, but Adrian wasn’t amused.

“Humans can get back together after a divorce. Shifters can’t.” He broke eye contact to run his hand through his hair. “Look, I’ll just say, me being an Incubus, you’re safer with my mark on you than you are without it, and that’s all you need to know. I have no intention of trying to be your friend from here.”

“I see.” My chin sunk to my chest at the finality of his statement. After all my inner hype, both of these men rejected me tonight.

“I’m happy to teach you and help with your school work, but let’s keep that relationship purely to school hours, and preferably with an audience. That’s all I can give you, Lila.” Those words gave me a tinge of hope, but I wouldn’t risk telling him that when he was offering me even the smallest olive branch.

He started to walk past me, so I made one last attempt at communication. “Can I ask you one more question?”

He paused as he was beside me, and he waited without giving consent or refusal.

I took a deep breath and looked at him. “I have two marks.” I turned my head to the side, and I used my fingernail to scrape away the foundation until the Leo symbol was visible. “I got this one after the last full moon, and I don’t know what it means.”

I noticed his Adam’s apple bob, but he still said nothing.

So he knew something about it?

“It looks like the Leo symbol.” I added next, hoping to lead him to some kind of explanation.

“That has nothing to do with me.” He said, then he walked past me and left me there on the hill to stew in my disappointed emotions, none of which I had the tools or knowledge to unpack in any meaningful way.

I should have headed back to the room, but instead, I sat down on that hill top and stared up at those stars. The full moon was too bright to look at, but the Milky Way looked beautiful in this dark night sky. I fixated on that fact, just wanting to clear my head.

Somehow I’d lost all of my highs, and now all I had were lows.

Chapter 26

I gripped the side of the bathroom sink, and I stared at my own reflection in the mirror. I could see the energy swirling in the gold of my irises, and I wondered how long I’d be able to hold out around her. Back inside, this hotel was built to block out the moon’s rays, but I’d already been exposed to it, and it was difficult to shake it off while we were still in the thick of the night.

I thought back to the way Lila had pleaded for me to come to the pool with her, and I hated that I’d had to decline. Just the thought of seeing her right now had my heart pounding.

I would keep it together. It would be fine.