Page 29 of Last Destination

That’s not what I meant, and you know it. How many times are you going to beat yourself up over his mistakes?

“I made mistakes, too, Charlie. Worse ones. And now I’m making them all over again.”

My pillow shifted and cupped large hands around my back, and I snuggled further into the heat and safety.

It won’t bring him back, Marley. She paused, but I could hear the sounds of her breathing beside me. Hesitant, almost worried. It won’t bring me back.

A violent yawn overtook my lungs, stopping me from responding. My nose burned, and tears I couldn’t spare welled up behind closed eyelids. I squeezed them together tightly, refusing to release the burden. Pandora’s Box had cracked open, but if I pulled off the cover, I’d never escape its pain again.

“Sleep, ángel,” Madman murmured, and the rumble of his voice through my body was a soothing force.

My visions melded into shades of blue until sleep took me, and Charlie’s voice was nothing but a memory.

No orgasm in the world could take away my heartache today.

Madman had been graciously protective from afar this morning. The gang leader had held me through the night like I was a cherished treasure, and seemed to sense I needed space from the moment I opened my eyes.

Which, coincidentally, was when Ambrose and Nikki rounded the tree line with familiar, flushed faces. I wanted to be happy the two had found a connection, but I couldn’t summon a smile. My chest ached with every breath, as if my heart had solidified into a lead balloon in the early morning hours. Dread made the burden even heavier as we ate our mango breakfast and drank a few sips of water.

Cheer up, Marley. You just got laid. If I could have that man between my thighs, I’d be fucking ecstatic right now.

“I’ll trade you,” I mumbled and packed up the last of my things into Madman’s backpack. “I can be celibate, and you can survive the next few days in the rainforest.”

She floated in front of me, turning around with an exasperated roll of her eyes. You’re such a drama queen.

“And you’re such an asshole.” I emphasized the point with the high-pitched rip of the zipper pulling closed.

“Hey! What did I do to you?” Nikki’s exuberance since his — well, whatever it was they got up to this morning — was as uplifting as it was irritating. His emotions had been a rollercoaster since we’d discovered we weren’t getting rescued, but today he was the calm, even-keeled charmer I knew and … loved.

Had I said that to him yet? Did he realize what he meant to me beyond this jungle?

He tilted his head to one side. His beautiful ringlets were much frizzier in the humid air than in the chilled cabin of the plane, and he grinned at me, showing perfect teeth. There was no place to view my reflection, but I was certain I looked like a post-apocalyptic train wreck without conditioner and a hairbrush. How did he look so disgustingly attractive? Aside from some crushed leaves and tired eyes, and a few lost pounds from the obvious, he was as handsome as the day we’d met. More, even.

Instantly, I softened. The lead balloon lifted with the small bit of helium that was Nikki’s lightness. How fortunate we were to have Nikki’s brand of charm even as our crisis continued to spiral worse than our plane. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders, pushing my chin toward him with a gentle finger, inquisitive eyes scrutinizing me for confessions.

“Who’s the asshole, baby girl?” A concerned realization dawned on his features. “Did he hurt you? I thought you were enjoying him, but if I read that wrong …”

Oh, dear god. Nikki’d heard Madman and me last night. My cheeks burned scarlet. We hadn’t ever spoken about being exclusive — hell, when would there have been time? — and he’d obviously enjoyed something with Ambrose this morning, but… Should we have talked about this?

Damn it, we probably should have talked about this.

“No!” I licked my lips and tried again. “No, not him. That was, er — nice.” Jesus, Marley. “I was talking to the — zipper,” I finished lamely.

Charlie tutted at me, but I ignored her. Blood flooded my face so forcefully, I was positive an eggplant and I had the same complexion. How the fuck was I going to convince the cartel I was a migrant when I couldn’t even keep a straight face now?

Judging by the dangerously naughty grin spreading across Nikki’s lips, he’d misjudged my poor lying skills for sexual embarrassment. Great. Just great.

“Inappropriate question, but I can’t possibly walk away from this conversation with it unanswered.” He licked his lips, a wicked glint in his eye. “Was he any good?”

I opened my mouth. But then he held up his hand as if to stop me from answering.

“I definitely don’t want comparisons between him and I, unless I’m exorbitantly better.” His wink caught me off guard and despite myself, I laughed. Cold relief trickled through my veins to rival the heat of my panic.

Nikki’s confidence was a trait I’d always admired. I believed him when he said this — us — meant something to him, just as I believe his interest in Madman was curiosity, not jealousy.

“I did not fall asleep wanting,” I teased, relieved at his responding smirk. “And you?”

The single clear golden-green eye and the jagged shards of the covered one shifted from my face to the person in question speaking in low tones with Tessa on the other side of the trees.