Page 10 of Last Destination

Fuck.

“So, we steal them.” Madman folded his arms across his chest as if damning five desperate travelers to their deaths wasn’t a big deal.

“I am not stealing bracelets from people as desperate as we are.” I didn’t mean to sound so angry, but the amount of death on my hands was already more than I could handle. The vision of the child’s wayward sandal flitted behind my eyes, and I swallowed heavily.

I wouldn’t risk another innocent human being.

“Okay, wait a moment.” Nikki held up his hand in a placating gesture. He turned to Jamie. “Is there a way we can shadow their path? Maintain a parallel distance or something? We can’t be too far from the Panama border now.”

His golden-green eye met mine.

“I watched a documentary on the gap last year,” he added. “There are boats waiting at the river on the Panama side—the Indigenous ferry passengers to the outpost. They require payment, though.” Nikki screwed his handsome face into a frown. “My wallet has a few reals and pesos, but my cards are useless here.”

Madman unceremoniously unzipped his commandeered bag and riffled through its mysterious contents, bringing out an expensive brown leather wallet.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Ambrose protested, reaching for it over Madman’s shoulder.

Madman handed it to him, unperturbed. “Then you can take credit for paying for our passage.”

We watched in silence as Ambrose counted the American bills and then shoved the wallet back into his pocket.

“I have five hundred bucks,” he confirmed, making eye contact first with Nikki, then with me. The warm brown in his eyes had softened significantly since the first time we’d met, and the determination in them now brought me comfort. “If it’ll get us home, that’s what we’ll use it for. Even you.” He sneered at Jamie, that softness transforming into a manic glint. “But if you choose not to follow through, I will hunt you down. Your amends will make no difference to me.”

Jamie ignored him, focusing instead on Nikki. “I don’t know if we can shadow them. They have patrols, and they’re not in the business of caring about their charges.”

A shiver traveled up my spine like an electric current. No, they were not. In any other circumstances, this option would be insanity, but we were past the point of sane. In any survival story I’d ever read, no one made it through by choosing the safe path. As if we’d even had that option since crashing.

I made eye contact with everyone in our small circle, five people out of the twenty had made it one week through hell on earth. They were trusting me to guide them, but it wasn’t my sole decision.

“Is anyone opposed to trying that option?”

Each person shifted uncomfortably. Tessa bit her chapped lips so hard a dribble of blood formed below her chin. Ambrose exhaled hard through his nose and wouldn’t meet my eyes, focusing his attention on the water system like he was reverse-engineering it in his head.

Nikki and Madman shared a look I didn’t like, while Jamie thankfully had the sense to keep his mouth shut.

“Sorry, baby girl, but I don’t think that’s an option. Not if we want to survive.” Nikki’s croon carried softly through the humid air, but the words hit me like a punch in the face.

He scrambled over the tree roots to pull my hands into his. They shook with a mild tremor. Was malnutrition making his blood sugar low? Worry sat in my gut like a sinking stone when I noticed the shake in both hands, not just one. He’d stayed so calm and strong over the last few days. Shame filled me. I hadn’t been paying enough attention to his well-being.

“I know you don’t like it, but look at it this way. Aileron is putting people in danger. How many other people are at risk? Families? Children? If we don’t get back and expose them, so many others will suffer.”

He pulled off his glasses and brought his face to mine, peering into my soul without cracked lenses to hide behind. The beautiful stare I’d once had dreams about bore through me with careful sincerity, though the fatigue in them mirrored my exhaustion.

“It’s an impossible situation, and I know you want to do the right thing. Getting through is the right thing, baby girl. It’s the only thing.”

His gaze was tender despite the callous words. Unbidden tears seared the back of my eyes, and I scrunched my nose to stop them from flowing.

My papa had said similar things: our survival was all that mattered. Delusions of his own importance had killed four innocent people who hadn’t known their lives would end from a routine trip to the bank, and his mission had cost him his own life in the aftermath.

How did I tell Nikki that blood was on my hands? That I’d left him after he’d pushed my testing too far. Despite knowing how ill he was, I’d chosen my freedom over his safety? Five people dead, seventeen injured, because I avoided his calls and ignored every sign of his escalation.

Now, I had to knowingly choose who should die so I could live? I swallowed the bile creeping up my throat, and breathed deeply to deter its escape, determined not to puke on my only shirt.

“We need lunch,” Nikki abruptly announced to the group. He’d clearly sensed I was a microsecond away from a meltdown. He squeezed my shoulders and kissed the top of my forehead before moving back to his place beside Ambrose.

“And we need more rest if we’re a few days out. Captain, you think it's a good idea to stay one more night?” His gentle stare graciously offered me the role of leader once again.

It had rained this morning, and we finally had a day’s worth of water for each of us after a few hours of boiling. It wasn’t enough to get us through a few more days of travel, and we needed protein to keep our strength up. I didn’t want to spend another second more than necessary, but knowing what was ahead and how exhausted we were, it would be irresponsible to press on today.