Page 17 of Knot Your Pawn

Third step, check where the rest of my pack is.

I have no idea how much energy I’ve got today and how useful I might be, but I’ll take it one step at a time.

Even if I won’t be able to help anyone out there, I can still take my laptop in here with me and help them out from the corner of my closet.

It’s all about using what you’ve got, and this is what I’ve got today. My brain feels pretty clear, the main problem is that I still can’t regulate my emotions and that my body probably won’t hold up all day. But I can work with that. I’ve been working with that all my life.

Dressed in loose pants and a blouse, both of the softest fabrics we could find but that would also not be too hot in this summer weather, I make my way over to the room where the kids are.

Let’s hope they got some sleep.

Though, with how stressful last night was, I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t get much sleep.

The door to the room is slightly ajar and when I push it open further, I find Jorge and Luca sitting in the open doorway to the balcony, quietly chatting as most of the kids are still asleep in a makeshift nest in the corner of the room.

Jorge has one of the kids in his lap, while Luca hands the kid pieces of fruit. Another kid is walking around on the balcony, looking out over the fields, all quiet awe and excitement.

A lump forms in my throat and tears spring in my eyes as I take in the sight. They look so peaceful and I can imagine them sitting exactly like that, a couple of years into the future, with our own kids.

It’s beautiful.

This quiet peace is what I want our future to be like.

This exactly.

7

Jorge

Luca stops talking and looks to the door to the room in surprise. When I follow his gaze, I find Riley staring at us, eyes filled with tears as her pheromones fluctuate through the room, her love and tenderness clear.

She looks a lot better than she did a couple of hours ago, though I’m sure she’s not recovered yet. She was really down and at the end of her energy when I helped her to her room. I’ve not seen her that worn out before, but knowing how long it normally takes for her to recover, she’s going to need much more time than this.

I motion for her to come over, not wanting to raise my voice much above a whisper, trying to let the kids sleep as long as possible.

She quietly crosses the room and sits down next to me. She looks at the sleeping kids and then at the girl in my arms, before looking at the boy on the balcony. “How are they doing?”

Since Luca has more experience with kids and knows them better than me, I wait for him to answer.

“They’re doing okay. The fact that they can get some sleep in, and feel safe enough to do so. And that they don’t constantly wake up with nightmares is a good sign. It hopefully means they’ll be able to leave this horrible stretch of time behind them at some point.” He glances at us and then outside, not comfortable with meeting our gazes.

He had been getting better at it over the last half hour while I was talking to him, but he seems to have become shy again with Riley here. At least he’s getting there and that’s what counts.

What I understood from Luca, these kids haven’t been with the Hearts for very long and they definitely haven’t been ‘put to work’ in too bad situations. He said that the Hearts treat the kids that have been ‘put to work’ —in whatever capacity, not just sexual, even simply being messengers— differently.

These kids were probably being moved around, to hide them from anyone looking for them, before they got any jobs.

While some of them will have parents, or families, who want them back, not all of them will be that lucky.

That’s how the Hearts got hold of Mathew. He was a street kid, no parents, nobody to look after him, nobody to worry about him.

The other group they tend to target are kids in the system. A system so overworked and under-funded that some of them slip through the cracks. Especially when those cracks have been purposefully kept open by organisations like the Hearts…

I hope that the last days, or weeks, or however long they’ve been with the Hearts, will be nothing more than a nearly-forgotten nightmare for these kids, a bad dream that they barely remember. That they’ll feel loved and cared for from now on, that they’ll have brighter days ahead.

Riley’s phone buzzes and when she reads the message, her pheromones flare in anger before she calms them down again. “Are the others awake?” Her voice is low but tight.

“They should be in Mathew’s office or the library.” I’ve been avoiding them, since they’re doing things that I prefer not to know too much about.