Page 47

Chapter Seventeen

When Luke galloped toward him, Tobias immediately concentrated on his brother. The lingering sadness that had enveloped him was instantly replaced with concern for Luke.

The tension in Tobias’ shoulders went away at Luke’s relaxed expression. It was gratifying to see the way marriage to Leah had changed Luke, the calming effect that allowed his brother to keep the storms in his mind at bay.

Tobias wasn’t fool enough to think Luke was miraculously cured. Luke would always have PTSD, but that it was managed to a point where there was normality in his life was good enough.

“Heard what happened,” Luke said as he studied his brother for a beat. In those few seconds, it was as if his twin read every thought and shared his emotions. Sometimes, it sucked being a twin.

“Yep, suppose I dodged that bullet,” Tobias replied with a hollow chuckle.

Luke didn’t even crack a smile. “You okay?”

Why did he have to ask that? Tobias urged his horse to move. “Yeah. You?”

“Leah’s gone for a couple days to help her dad with some company stuff. So I’m hanging with the dogs. Eating pizza and drinking beer for dinner.”

Being that Luke loved to cook and was the main one to do so, Tobias figured it was a break from it for his brother.

“So much for scoring a dinner invite,” Tobias muttered. “I can have shitty pizza and beer at home.”

“Who says my pizza is shitty?”

At the realization Luke made it from scratch, Tobias’ ears perked. “You making some tonight?”

“I might.”

A wave of what felt like cement hit Tobias. He could barely breathe. Not sure how, he managed to dismount and stalk in a circle, his lungs screaming for air.

“What the fuck?” he gasped out. “Shit. I. Can’t. Br…”

Luke came up beside him, not freaking out, but quite the opposite. He put a hand on Tobias’ shoulder. “Look at me. Now huff out air a couple times.”

At first, it was ridiculous to huff when he couldn’t get any oxygen in, but he tried and after a couple times, he gulped in air. His brother guided him to bend over and put his hands on his knees.

“What the hell?” Tobias said. “Am I having a heart attack?”

“Nah. Panic attack. Anxiety.”

“Shit. Right. Nope, I think I better go to the doctor. I’m not in a good place mentally, but that doesn’t mean I want to die.”

Gingerly, Tobias straightened and took a deep breath. His chest didn’t feel tight. It had been his lungs that had been burning.

He glared at Luke. “Why would I be panicking? Or freaking out?”

“You tell me.” His brother was ever so eloquent. Then again, Luke didn’t have to say much to get a point across.

Tobias stared at his twin for a long time. “I have…had a son.”

Luke didn’t react. Instead, he watched him, guarding him, protecting him.

Although Luke already knew the details, Tobias repeated them. “Tori was pregnant and he died, right after being born. A boy.” The words came out stilted, as if told by someone who didn’t quite understand the subject. “She didn’t tell me. I fucking hate her for that. If I would have stayed, maybe he wouldn’t have died. Shit. I don’t know.”

He didn’t realize he was crying until a tear rolled into his mouth, the salty taste taking Tobias by surprise.

“I can’t ever forgive her for that, Luke. Do you have any idea? Shit I don’t know what to feel. What to think.”

“Why didn’t she tell you?”