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“Still you should have said something.” Tobias’ voice was hoarse. “I wish you would have told me then.”
“I was too mad. You’d not discussed joining the military. We’d agreed that after my second year of college, we’d return to Laurel Creek. I would work at the restaurant and you would work for your uncle as an attorney.”
His brow crinkled. “I’d forgotten about that. I did plan to be a lawyer, didn’t I?”
“You did.”
Tobias drank some water. “What happened after I left?”
“It’s a blur. I told my parents about the baby. They wanted me to tell you immediately. But I kept putting it off. I was a dumb nineteen-year-old kid, who couldn’t handle the stress of war. Soldiers were dying overseas. I became obsessed about it, was glued to the news twenty-four-seven. I had a mental breakdown and lost the baby at almost five months along.”
With shaky breaths, Tori reached for a tissue and wiped at her eyes. “I blamed you, but it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t even know.”
“That’s why you broke off the engagement.”
Tori nodded. “Yes. I was heartbroken. I wanted you with me, to go through the grief with me. It was unreasonable. I know that now.”
She untied the ribbon and opened the box, pushing it to him. “His name is Thomas.”
Tobias couldn’t pullhis eyes away from the picture. The baby seemed as if he were asleep. Perfectly formed with the serene look of an infant. He had dark hair and a dimple in the center of his chin. The Hamilton chin. His lips curved at noting that.
The tiny hands were curled into fists beside his face, the blue blanket surrounding him was like a cloud for the little angel. A tear trickled down his face and Tobias ignored it.
His son. A little boy who’d never had a chance. “Why did he not make it?”
“The doctor said it was just too soon. He needed more time.” Tori was full out crying now, her reddened eyes blinking away the tears the spilled over. “I held him for hours. He was so very perfect and beautiful, Tobias.”
“I can see that.” Tobias looked to her. “He looks like both of us.”
She sniffed and nodded. “He does.”
“I’m so sorry,” Tori said, taking his left hand in both of them. “Please forgive me for keeping this from you. It was horribly unfair of me. Your mother asked me several times over the years to tell you, but I guess it was too hard.”
Her cell phone rang and she looked to the display. Tori answered. “Hey, Allison. Yes. Everything’s fine. We’ll talk tomorrow. Yes. I’m sure.”
“Wants to make sure we’re not choking each other?” Tobias said, attempting at lightness.
Tori smiled and wiped her eyes. “Yeah. She sounded shocked to not hear you screaming in the background.”
They went through the rest of the items in the box. There was a stack of pictures, some of Thomas alone and a few with her and her mother holding him. Tobias asked for a few and Tori gave them to him.
The birth certificate, death certificate and several other items were also in the box. There was a small jeweler’s box lastly and Tori handed it to Tobias. “I had this made for you, but was too chicken to ever give it to you.”
It was a chain necklace. On the end was a small vial with ashes. “His ashes,” Tori said in a whisper. “You don’t have to wear it. I don’t wear mine anymore. I keep it on my nightstand.”
He lifted the necklace. “I want to put it on.” Tori had to help with the clasp since his arm was still in a sling.
“Mom and I spread his ashes at St. Peter’s Catholic church, at the butterfly garden.”
“Thank you.” Tobias touched the vial. “This is all new to me. I’m not sure what to think.”
“It will take time.”
Tori placed a hand on his forearm. “Will you ever forgive me for not telling you?”
“Yeah, I already did.”
Tobias stood and took the stack of pictures and one of the baby’s hospital bracelets. “I better get going.”
He studied her for a long time. “I’m sorry you had to go through it alone. If I’d known, I’m not sure I would have been able to be here. The military wouldn’t have sent me back so soon after arriving, especially not during wartime. So I screwed up. I should’ve talked to you before joining.”
“It’s over now, Tobias. I’m just glad you know now. I imagine you will have to grieve since you just found out. So give yourself time and be patient. With your accident and all, you need to relax for a bit.”
With a weddingcoming up the next week, he wasn’t exactly giving himself much time. Tobias wondered if he should tell Tori, but then decided it wasn’t her concern. Although they’d always be connected with the past, it was best to break all contact with her.
Her nose was pink from crying and he fought against it but, in the end, he gave up. He hugged Tori against him, a farewell to the one woman he’d never stop loving.
“Goodbye.”
Her eyes searched his. “Yeah…bye.”
