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Her hand slid into his hair, and he was forced to draw back lest his feelings overwhelmed him. “Gervaise, I want you to do it,” she said with suppressed excitement. He blinked slowly down at her. Do what? “Let’s not go to the Continent,” she continued, seeing his blank look. “We could visit your mother at some later point. Instead, let us go to Benham and…and make it truly ours.”
He nodded. Had he not already said he would do whatever she wanted? Only gradually did her full meaning filter through his tender thoughts. “You mean…you’ll let me punish your friends and neighbors at my leisure?” he asked, a satisfied smile curving his lips.
“I don’t have any friends,” she reminded him.
“Not true.”
“Well, not in Penarth I don’t,” she said, stroking her fingers through his hair. Her touch almost had him trembling. He kissed her again, lingeringly.
“Except for Teddy and the Farises, of course,” she added when he drew back.
He cleared his throat. His heart was beating so loud he was afraid she would hear it. “You will need a whole wardrobe of elegant black,” he said, trying to focus on the task at hand, “in the very latest of styles. We will be in full mourning. Mourning jewelry, the lot. I will need to take you shopping again.” He liked that idea. Some veils might be intriguing, and perhaps an onyx locket with a matching ring.
“Full mourning?” Her expression wavered. “For Mama.”
“Ostensibly, but privately it would be for your father,” he said, running a comforting hand up and down her back.
“And for Sophy,” she added soberly. “I will have to contact her family and see what I can do for them. Pay for a respectable burial. Perhaps there is a younger sibling who might be desirous of a position. Or would such an offer be in very poor taste?”
“We will have to make enquiries,” he answered soothingly.
“How long do you think we should stay here before we could make travel plans?”
“Five days? Maybe a week. Jeremy and Emmeline will want to return home themselves as soon as possible. Emmeline is expecting, you know, and only came to town to help save you from ruination.”
“Yes, that was good of her, to put herself out on my account.”
“Hmmm. Not remotely necessary, however, as I’ve been begging you on my knees for weeks now to marry me.”
“That’s not—”
“Have I thanked you for that, by the way?” he asked casually. “I know you did not really want to, and I consider it a great favor that you finally capitulated.”
She was speechless for a minute, then said, “But that is not true, Gervaise. Indeed, I consider it a great favor that you agreed to marry me!” Seeing the look on his face, she added uncertainly, “You do believe me, don’t you?”
“Well, yesterday you said you would sooner die than marry me,” he pointed out. “Maybe that was where I gained the impression you were somewhat less than willing.”
The color drained from Caroline’s face. “What?” she whispered, aghast. “I never said that, Gervaise, and I never would!”
“I hate to contradict you, my sweet, but you most certainly did. Unfortunately, the moment is burned on my brain. Afterward I went and got disgracefully drunk to console myself. You can ask Jeb, or Effie, she was there too.”
“You— But I—” Her shoulders slumped and she gave a muffled exclamation as though something had just occurred to her. “Oh!” She sat up and twisted around, seizing hold of his shoulders in an insistent grip. “Gervaise, you must listen to me,” she said, giving him a little shake. He gazed back at her, quite enchanted by her sudden ferocity.
“I was not referring to marriage with you when I said that.” He lifted a cynical eyebrow. “You outlined a plan about my coming here to the Farises’ and then, after a decent period, returning to Benham Hall with Edgar. That was what I was refusing, never you.”
“I? I most certainly did not!” he objected strenuously. “I had no intention of letting you wriggle out of my grip. Not then, not now, not ever.”
She shook her head stubbornly. “No, Gervaise, you are not remembering clearly.” Her eyes glittered with sudden tears. “At that point you had already told me that you were leaving me and returning to your uncle’s house in Melbury Square.”
“What? No—” Now it was his turn to seize hold of her. “I was returning to my uncle’s house only until you could be prevailed upon to marry me. It was a misplaced effort to add some decency to proceedings, that was all. I would never have allowed you to be dragged back to Penarth without me. You do believe me, Caroline?” Her expression wavered.
“Damn it,” he swore. “I should have told Jeremy to go to hell with his notions of respectability! I can’t believe that you thought—” He broke off in frustration. “Shall I go and fetch him now to corroborate what I am saying? Or your brother, he owes me no loyalty and—”
“No, no, don’t go,” she said, reaching up to twine her arms about his and prevent him moving away. “I believe you, Gervaise. I—I must have simply misconstrued what you said in the moment.”
Feeling unspeakably relieved, Gervaise breathed easily once again. “Thank you,” he said, drawing her against his chest. Caroline hugged him back, burying her face in his neck. Her breath tickled him there and he felt himself finally relax. “So, when you said, ‘I’d sooner die’…?”
“I was talking of going back home with Edgar, of course!” she explained indignantly.