Page 137 of A Most Forgettable Girl

Gunnilde’s hands were covering her mouth though she did not remember placing them there. She whispered his name against her fingers.

“I never intended to,” he carried on. “It just happened. It happened and it changed me, and I cannot regret it. Even if you never really return it in the same spirit.”

“Oh, but I do!” Gunnilde burst out, closing the gap between them. “I do love you!” Her eyes filled with tears. “And ever since I realized it, everything has been ruined!” she wailed. “It has all been so difficult and I have not known how to behave around you anymore!”

One minute she was standing beside him and the next she found herself seized and pulled into his lap. “Say it again,” he said appealingly, staring into her eyes. His hands cradled her face. “Please.”

She took a deep breath. “I love you, James Wycliffe. So very much. What I feel for you so far surpasses any liking I ever felt for Arthur, or any other passing fancy, that it feels entirely an entirely different emotion altogether. In fact, I don’t think I ever truly knew what love was before you, even though I considered myself an expert.”

“Yes,” he said raspily, and she could see how her words had affected him, for he looked quite choked with emotion, his throat working and his eyes welling up. She dropped a gentle kiss on his lips and his arms tightened around her.

“Again,” he murmured.

“Again the words, or again the kiss,” she laughed shakily.

“Both.”

“I love you, James, as I have never loved another man before or ever will again. I am quite sure of that.”

He nodded. “That’s good,” he breathed. “I feel the same way about you.” They kissed again, sweet and slow. He shook his head. “I can’t believe you couldn’t tell what a fool I am for you.”

“Sometimes you are a little hard to read,” she admitted fondly. “Though, looking back, perhaps I should have realized sooner.”

“I’m so sorry about last night,” he said, his gaze falling. “I was sick with jealousy over Farleigh, but that’s no excuse for how I behaved.” He hesitated. “What I said about you being a hardened flirt...”

“Do not regard it,” she laughed. “I am adding it to your ‘flaunting siren’ comment. You intended it for an insult but I do not choose to take it that way.” She kissed him again. “You have no need to be jealous over Douglas. I always thought he was sweet, and I loved to see him blush and stammer over Constance, but I never wanted him for my own. I promise you that.”

His arms tightened around her again. “I am glad,” he said tersely. “And I will work harder to be gracious around Bevan and Conway next time we cross paths.”

“You were not precisely discourteous to them,” she said perhaps a shade generously.

“I did not feel remotely courteous toward any of them.”

Gunnilde gave a gurgle of laughter. “Well, now you know my feelings I am sure their company will become easier to bear.” She twined her arms about his neck and sighed. “I know exactly when I realized I had fallen for you. It was after that night we frequented those taverns together. I woke up the next morning and I just knew. I had been quite at ease in our marriage until that point, but then suddenly I just felt so unsure of myself and...and well inadequate.”

“Inadequate?” He frowned. “Why?”

“I suppose I feared you did not feel the same way about me.”

“Shall I tell you how it was for me?” She nodded and he took a deep breath. “Even when I thought you would make me the most unsuitable wife in the kingdom, I still thought you were the most provocative, the most enticing, and the comeliest woman I’d ever seen.”

“James! Really?” she asked in high delight. “Sometimes you make me quite giddy.”

“And then you started with your talk of marriage pacts and helpmeets. I found I really wanted you.” His throat closed over the words. “You saved me from that jester, then you saved me from the wretched existence I had eked out for myself. I was—” He broke off frustratedly. “I did not even know what I was missing out on until you came into my life. I was...miserable. I felt totally alone. Every connection felt like a burden to me, even my brother, if I am honest.” His eyes avoided hers and he looked heartily ashamed.

Gunnilde considered. “Neville told me once that he guilted and plagued you for money as the rest of your family do. He said you were overburdened with cares.”

“Did he say that?” She nodded, and he was quiet for a moment. “He has improved greatly since your brother and his friends came into our lives, you know. He has not even complained of any maladies plaguing him of late. He was constantly imagining himself ill at one time, mostly from boredom and lack of purpose, I suspect.”

“I think he should take on some responsibilities. It is high time.”

“You mean marriage?” James asked, slanting a look at her. There was the ghost of a smile playing about his mouth.

Gunnilde started guiltily. “James, I promise you,” she said fervently, “I meant what I said. Never, never again will I interfere or meddle with the love lives of others. I have learned my lesson. I wrought so much disaster upon everyone.” She shuddered. “Today was proof enough of that.”

“What are you talking about?” he interrupted. “I do not care one whit if you take up your matchmaking again. Not now I feel assured of your heart. I think you should find husbands for Harriet and Winifred and even Mistress Bartree, should it please you!” She stared.

“It only irritates me that fool Farleigh now gazes after you like a lovesick swain but that is hardly your fault. If he was too stupid to realize his feelings before it was too late, then that is his own tragedy. Besides, I am glad he was oblivious, that worked out all the better for me.”