A Contracted Spouse for the Prizefighter
Page 142
“You should have just told me you did not love me!” she burst out in a sob. “You should have been honest with me.” She struggled like a mad thing. “Then I would not have been so foolish and … and so blind! I wouldn’t have made such an exhibition of myself!”
“Of course, I fucking love you!”
“No Clem.” She shook her head wildly. “I know now that you do not—beyond a shadow of a doubt!”
He growled low and tightened his grip on her so hard that she was forced to stand still. “I love you so much I’ve lost my damn reason!”
“No,” she whispered, screwing up her eyes. “No, stop it, stop this please. We can put it right with no harm done! Just—please—not another word. I can’t bear it! Please Clem.”
He scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to the unmade bed, flinging her down and then following her so he landed heavily on top of her. Theo lay winded, blinking up at him. “I love you!” he said shakily, smoothing her hair back from her brow and framing her face with his hands. “Whatever doubts are rolling through that clever head of yours are my fault, and mine alone. You’re right. Nothing I said made a damned bit of sense. I’ve been acting like a bloody fool. My place is here, beside you, always. Till death us do part. That was what I signed up for.”
“No, Clem you did not,” she whispered.
“Yes, I did,” he insisted.
“It was just a business arrangement,” she reminded him painfully. “I lost sight of that fact and—”
“I lost sight of that fact long before you did!” he interrupted her loudly. “I started wanting you way, way before you even noticed me as a man.” Two more tears leaked out of her eyes and ran down the sides of her face. “God, please don’t cry, Dora,” he appealed desperately. “I love you so much. Please tell me I haven’t fucked this up beyond repair.” He lowered his brow until it rested against hers.
“I watched you on that stage, night after night,” he said in a low insistent voice. “I could not take my eyes off you, and I finally realized I had married a fucking genius. A genius, Dora, a one-of-a-kind, bona fide, genius. And you had been overlooked, ignored, and neglected for years. No one had noticed what a jewel you were, what a fucking gem of a woman, a masterpiece.” He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her, hungrily, desperately.
He tore his mouth away frustratedly. “Then, suddenly, every fucker noticed it. I just felt—God, I felt so unworthy of you,” he admitted rawly. “Even Harold Allsop is more deserving of you than me,” he pronounced with loathing. “At least he can make himself useful and write songs for you.” He ground his teeth as though admitting that had cost him. “I won’t stand aside for him, though,” he vowed with ill-concealed resentment. “Don’t expect me to be noble about it, because I won’t!”
Dora blinked. “Clem—” she began, but he cut her off.
“Please Dora,” he begged. “I swear to God, I will never act so fucking stupid again if you’ll just give me this one last chance.” She swallowed and nodded, and his face lit up. “Sweetheart!” he groaned. “You will?” As though unable to stop himself he started dropping kisses indiscriminately over her face. “I swear I’ll try and be the man you deserve,” he promised.
“Just don’t be a blithering idiot again,” she said with a spurt of spirit. “How about I settle for that?” He gave a choked laugh. “You scared me, Clem!” she admitted, growing serious again. “So badly. For a horrible moment, I thought you didn’t care. I thought it was just me.”
“No, never, never, never,” he vowed, his hand sliding down to cover her heart. “I was scared too,” he admitted, pulling back to let her see his sincerity. “I’ve never lost my heart to anyone before, and it was bloody terrifying. I was so fucking scared, Dora. I thought you would notice that I wasn’t fit for you to wipe your shoes on.”
“Clem!” she protested.
“It’s true, my darling, but if you love me, then … it doesn’t matter if I’m unworthy,” he said simply. “I’ll just make it work.” He looked at her searchingly. “Tell me you love me again, Dora.”
“I love you.”
“God, I’ve been such a fool. How can you possibly put up with me?”
Theo smiled at him again, with more conviction this time, and he lowered his face to hers groaning into their kiss.
“I love you,” he rasped. “I’ve been so fucking miserable. We’ve only been apart two nights our whole marriage and I can’t tell you how much I regret both of them.”
She lifted her arms to circle his shoulders. “I love you too,” she whispered. “I missed you badly too. It feels like it was longer than two nights.”
He stroked her face, gazing down at her for a full minute without words. “I’m a fortunate man. How did I get so lucky?” After a moment, he grimaced. “I expect your family wants my blood.”
“No,” she admitted. “I don’t think they’ve even noticed we’ve been fighting. Lil was the only one who picked up on it.”
His arms tightened around her. “What did you tell Lil?” he asked gruffly.
“Well, she sort of found out about Barty and she thinks you’re a jealous type so she drew her own conclusions.”
“Turns out she’s right,” he murmured.
She gave a gurgle of laughter. “You can’t be as bad as her husband. Ten years they were estranged. We’ve only been apart two nights and they weren’t even consecutive nights.”
He grunted but did not look interested in pursuing this subject. “There’s something else I should tell you. I do really want a baby with you, Dora,” he said gruffly. She glanced down. “You shouldn’t agree to it, not for a long time,” he added, his gaze sliding away from hers.