Page 92

“No, but I’m interviewing one in Oxford, aren’t I?” Connie said smartly. “So put that in your pipe and smoke it!”

Ema rolled her eyes. “Lizzie, why can you not consume a mountain in chocolates and then you could be our Salome? Your hair is far more beautiful than Miss Wurtzel’s ever was.”

Connie burst out laughing, and Lizzie braced herself, expecting some detrimental comment about her looks. “You think that husband of hers would permit her to sit around in the altogether, to be ogled by all and sundry? Do me a favor. He’d see us shut down first.”

“She’s right,” Niamh agreed. “He looks sick as a dog having to part with her most mornings. Casts longing looks over his shoulder as he walks away and everything.”

“Oh, stop it,” Lizzie said uncomfortably. “He does not.”

“You wouldn’t know, for you never look,” Niamh teased.

“Besides,” Zaya huffed sadly. “I do not think Lizzie would ever grow big enough hips and thighs, even if she ate a whole mountain of candy. For she does not have the right frame for it.”

They all turned to survey Lizzie critically. “I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that!” Lizzie said spiritedly. “For I have no intention of even trying!”

The rest of the afternoon passed without much event. Charlie came for any commissions and for a fee took her letter for Maggie. He promised faithfully he would post it that very day. The only other occurrence was Lizzie having to escort a hysterical young woman out of the Wonderous Females tent all of a flutter.

The troublesome female in question had insisted on proclaiming in a loud, know-it-all voice that the goddess Anvi’s extra arms ‘were clearly not real but fake appendages suspended on strings’. Upon which, Ema had reached around from behind her twin and seized the girl’s wrist in a hard grasp, as Zaya began to laugh in a quite terrifying manner.

The visitor had screamed so loudly that quite a crowd had gathered at the tent entrance, trying to push their way in to find the source of the commotion. Sebastian rushed toward them barking loudly, which seemed to restore some order.

“Let her go!” Lizzie had insisted as the poor girl started to gibber.

Zaya crossed her arms. “She should not have insulted the goddess!” she said sticking her little chin in the air.

“She apologizes most sincerely, oh wonderous goddess!” a young man in spectacles stammered.

“You I like,” the goddess announced, making the young man blush. “For you speak handsomely.” She extended one of her other hands toward him, and after a moment’s confusion, he kissed it reverently. “I will release this foolish mortal for your sake.”

The young man bowed gratefully, and Ema released her victim. Lizzie half-dragged the fainting young woman out into the fresh air outside the tent as the young man propping up her other side scolded her soundly.

“It that doesn’t just serve you right, Jennifer!” he complained, wiping his brow with his handkerchief. “Wherever I take you it is always the same! Causing scenes and showing off! I’m sure I don’t know why I bother!”

“Ohhhhh,” Jennifer moaned. “Her fingers burned into my skin, Cedric. I’m sure she cursed me!”

“She did not curse you,” Lizzie said firmly.

The girl’s frightened eyes rolled toward her. “How can you be sure?” she wailed and began to weep noisily.

“If she had cursed you, there would have been a good quantity of colored smoke filling the tent,” Lizzie improvised. “I have seen the goddess curse many people, and you she did not curse, for she liked the look of your companion.”

Cedric’s rather thin chest puffed out at this. “There, there you see,” he said comfortingly and patted her gloved hand. “Let me buy you a cup of hot, spiced wine. You will feel better presently, I daresay.”

“The very thing!” Lizzie approved. “Or a nice cup of hot sweet tea for the shock she has had.”

Cedric thanked her profusely, and when she drew her hand away from a vigorous handshake, she found he had tipped her handsomely.

“Only let this be a lesson to you, my dear,” she heard him taxing the unfortunate Jennifer as he led her away.

When Lizzie returned to the tent, she found the queue outside the tent was heaving and three times as long as it had been before. Connie nodded to her as she and Sebastian passed by her in the entrance. “Nicely done, my dear,” she said. “We’ll miss you at Banbury.”

Lizzie felt quite sentimental by the time she’d finished for the evening. As the fair did not start until twelve, it was long past nine by the time things were wound up in the Wonderous Females tent.

Suppressing a yawn, Lizzie made her way toward the Toomes Family boxing saloon when, to her surprise, she noticed a familiar figure lurking outside. It was the solid respectable figure of Josiah Anderson. “Uncle!” she uttered in astonishment.

He gave a violent start on hearing her voice and wheeled about. “Lizzie!” he gasped faintly, his eyes raking over her.

“Were you looking for me?” she asked, quite flabbergasted to see him in such surroundings.