A Substitute Wife for the Prizefighter
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“Like what?”
“I don’t know exactly, but not like a man who has just achieved his life’s ambition, that’s for sure.”
He smiled a little grimly. “Maybe because now it’s within my grasp, I’ve realized it’s not my heart’s ambition at all,” he said slowly.
She caught his subtle change of life to heart and caught her breath. “It isn’t?” He shook his head. “Then, what is?”
He reached out and caught her hands in his. “Lizzie,” he began. “When I determined to make you mine,” he carried on calmly, “I reasoned it out quite coolly. I may have thought my motive was a little involved,” he winced. “But it turns out things were a lot more straightforward than I knew.” He paused a moment, as though mustering his thoughts. “Your honesty, your sheer obstinate, bloody-minded determination to do what you felt to be right, never mind what anyone else thought about it, flying fully in the face of adversity, and not backing down an inch. All of it resonated deeply with me. Here.”
He picked up her own hand to press it to his chest. Lizzie’s mouth fell open as she felt the emotion vibrate in his voice as he spoke. “I felt it here, and I knew you were the one for me. And every day, every hour, and every minute I have spent with you since has confirmed that instinct one-hundredfold. You’re the one for me.” She nodded dumbly. He took a deep breath.
“I can tell you now, Lizzie, your hair is not your only beauty. Not to me.” He dropped her hand and reached across to cup her chin. “This firm little chin, these dainty lips,” he said tracing them with his thumb. “These intelligent eyes, this determined nose … I find beauty in all of it. I could look at your face all day long and find no fault with it. And you know I like your body. When I’m champion, I’ll have your portrait painted by someone who can do you justice.” Lizzie stared at him. His expression, so fiercely sincere, robbed her of words completely.
He thought she was beautiful? An idea occurred to her so astonishing that it made her tremble. “Benedict,” she quavered. “Are you sure it’s not just that you’re, well … ” She licked her lips. Just say it. “In love with me?”
He held her gaze, the ghost of a smile playing about his mouth. “Of course, I am, Lizzie,” he said, astounding her. “I think I fell in love with you the very moment you called that reverend out, causing merry havoc at that damn dinner party.”
Lizzie’s mouth dropped open. “What?” she squeaked.
“If it wasn’t fully at that moment, then it might have been when you barged passed me the next morning with your chin high in the air. Or maybe,” he mused, “it was when you swung your bag at that thug’s head in Poultney Street.” When she continued open-mouthed, he sighed. “It might have been a combination of all three moments. I don’t know. I just know I spent the nights that week lying awake until the early hours, plotting and scheming how I could break my engagement to the wrong girl and get you where I wanted you.”
Lizzie swallowed convulsively. “You mean, you wanted it to be me in the church that morning?” she enquired incredulously.
He nodded. “I knew I wouldn’t rest night or day until I’d made you mine.”
So, she was not a last-minute substitute at all! “I thought – that is – I had no idea you felt that way!”
“I know,” he said simply. “I scarcely realized the truth myself. And I didn’t want to scare you. It was quite a turnaround.”
“You didn’t worry it might just have been a passing fancy?” she marveled.
He shook his head. “No.”
“How could you be so certain?”
“I just was, and that conviction has held firm ever since.” Her gaze fell beneath his own. He waited until she met his eye again before speaking. “As soon as I started getting those feelings, I began noticing more and more things about you that I liked. Not just the way you look, but your gutsiness, determination, everything about you. Everything. I love you, Lizzie. I won’t know true happiness until you feel the same way I do.”
Lizzie’s head reeled. She put out her hand blindly. “Wait,” she said, and he caught her hand in a comforting grip.
“Forever if I have to,” he assured her, kissing her fingers. “Though I hope it won’t take that long.”
“When you say you thought your motive was a little involved in marrying me, what did you mean?”
Benedict winced. “Trust you to home in on that.”
“You meant to get some measure of revenge on me, didn’t you? Confess.”
He smirked. “I did. You irritated me no end with your glares and disapproval at Sitwell Place. I meant to make you pay for that, but you made all my plans go awry. From the very first.”
Lizzie huffed out a breath. “I didn’t really know you then,” she began awkwardly. “I thought you a terrible villain.”
He laughed. “I know. And now?”
“Now … ” Lizzie avoided his gaze. “Now it’s different,” she admitted. “Very different. I feel I should be very cross to hear anyone say anything against you.”
“You’re well disposed toward me, then?” he asked teasingly, reaching across to thread his fingers through hers.
“Yes,” she agreed quietly. “Though, mind you, I’m not at all sure when that happened either. Maybe it was because you didn’t kick up a big fuss when I spent all my money on a dog. Or maybe,” she considered aloud. “Because you didn’t set me prancing in my drawers or telling fortunes as your grandmother told me you would.”