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I didn’t know what all was about to happen next in my life, but I was happy to have Soulful right here next to me. Once I got settled, I was for sure planning on asking him how the hell did Jocelyn find out. I know that I had been a nagging, hormone-raging woman. Feeling like Soulful wanted to keep me a secret when he was actually trying to protect me from exactly was happening now.

The entire ride to Soulful’s house was a quiet one. He didn’t look over at me like he normally would. I watched him whip his car like only a real nigga could. One hand controlling the steering wheel, seat let back leaving me to wonder how he could even see the road. He kept the music low enough so we could both hear our own thoughts.

Once we pulled in front of his house, he told me the code to his front door. I asked if he wanted me to carry some of my things and he just shook his head no. His entire persona was standoffish, I could tell that he was pissed off to the max. His house was empty, which was a surprise. Passion and Luv always remained in the front room, whenever I did come over to visit.

I loved Soulful’s room, it was spacious and very elegant. His bed looked like two king beds put together. His master bedroom was connected to a large hallway with his room sitting at the end with two big double doors. I stood by the door just amazed with how it looked like I was seeing it for the first time.

All of his furniture had gold leaf features offering an air of distinction from the rest of the house. The entire room was white and gold, making me kick my shoes off and sit them right next to the door. I inhaled deeply and the room smelled just like his sexy smelling cologne. He had tall windows, with high ceiling fans.

As I walked towards his bed, my feet soaked into the plush carpet.

“Don’t ever do what you did today.” I turned to face Soulful, his tall frame was almost too tall for the entrance of his bedroom. So, he was madder with me. I thought to myself as I took a seat at the edge of his bed.

“Not answering the fuckin phone when you know I’m trying to check in on yo ass.” He took his shirt off and tossed it right next to my shoes.

“I ain’t bout to be playing games with you either Era.” He sighed hard and walked into his room a little further until he was standing in the middle of the room, looking directly at me. Soulful was so damn fine, that I couldn’t help to ogle him.

“You look so damn handsome, Soulful and you smell good as hell. Come here.” He blushed on the sly and I loved the reluctant look he gave me while trying to remain serious. I bit my bottom lip to keep myself from laughing. It was a little funny but sad that a man as fine as him wasn’t used to this type of affection. Soulful was tall and fine as hell. He was stalky built and looking back at his old pictures that he had throughout the house from him in high school. I could see that he used to be chunky with lots of hair on his head. Now he grown out a full beard, he still had a little gut on him, but the rest of his body was solid and hard.

The tattoos he had scattered on his arms and neck added to his thuggish appeal. Right now, he stood in front of me with his jaws clenched a little. He ran both of his massive hands down his wavy head.

“Don’t play around with me right now Era. I ain’t on that right now.” That really wasn’t what I expected to hear, so I kept at it.

“Soulful, I’m serious. You are handsome as hell baby.” I smiled at him and licked my lips like I was hungry for him.

“Thank you, Era. On some real shit, I’m mad as fuck right now. I don’t even know what the fuck I should do, this the shit I was trying to avoid. I keep calling you, trying to make sure that you not gone be mad with a nigga. I got all scared thinking that you really was gone be done with me. You ignored me for hours, I go to the studio to check on you, you gone. Then I get to your house and you outside hearing that bitch ass nigga out. Listening to what the fuck he talking bout.” He looked at me accusingly and my breath almost left my body.

I was staring at a man that really had deep feelings for me and cared. It was obvious with the way he explained everything.

“Soulful, I…” he cut me off.

“What’s it gone be Era? We can work all the other shit out later. We can be together and take shit slow. I fucked up and was tired of Jocelyn begging me the other day, I slipped up and told her all about you, but I don’t really care because I don’t want to hide you. I know shit moving fast with our baby as well as our feelings. I can have a studio built in this house while we both lay low. I can deal with the media; I just don’t want you to have to deal with all that being pregnant with my baby. You new to this type of lifestyle, I don’t want to push you in face first. I want you in the baby living here under my roof.” He stopped talking and took a deep breath. He walked closer to me and each step he took my heart pounded hard inside my chest. I was literally speechless.

“Look man, I don’t know what the fuck I’m trying to say. I just know what you need to tell me at the moment and mean that shit. You make me feel shit that I never felt, the way you look at me and how you talk to me. You nurturing as hell and I never had that. So tell me, I’m already invested and before I go off the deep end and start loving you hard as fuck, I need you to tell me baby.” He kneeled and got between my thighs; he looked up at me with those deep soulful eyes.

“Tell me what you want from this, tell me what you want to do. We can move forward and make it happen. After you tell me, I can tell you what it is I want as well. I want us to be vocal right now.” The lines in his forehead increased, I hated seeing him this worried and stressed. It was my fault that I was moving things as slow as I was moving them. It had a lot to do with my last relationship and how I was played.

My intuition was telling me that things happen for a reason. Devin hurt me, but it had to be done in order for me to experience and finally get the true love of my life. I knew it was real, I could feel it radiating between both of us. I wanted Soulful, a man like him and all he had been through deserves a good woman, just like I deserved a good man. He was that man.

“I want us, I want to live with you. I want to built with you, create a bond so strong that nobody can come in and break. I trust that you will treat me right and I will do the same. I believe we can make each other feel the things that we need to feel. Confiding and becoming the best of friends and eventually more will come. We both new to all of this, the growing together as parents and creating a safe space for each other. I was scared at first but I know deep in my soul that the way things happened between us, we were just meant to be. The way you hold and love on me is something I never had. You want to show me off as your woman and I want to show you off as my man. I never lived with a man either, so it’s a first for everything. I’m excited to be your girl.” Soulful leaned in and trapped me with his thick full lips. He took my breath away again by kissing me so deep that I felt every bit of the kiss in other places that throbbed and yearned to be touched by him. My mind went back to the first time, I laid eyes on Soulful.

I remember it so well because it was the time, Praylah admitted to having severe depression and telling me and Ju’well about being bi polar.

“Era, it’s time to sing happy birthday now.” My stomach tightened as my mouth went dry. I wanted to be a celebrity and sing for millions of people. I didn’t understand why now at this very moment, I felt myself freezing up and not really wanting to sing for Soulful. Each step that I took towards the door had me feeling queasy. I made my way to the front of the restaurant clearing my throat hitting high and low notes preparing myself to sing. My eyes landed on Soulful and in person, photos from social media did this man no justice.

Handsome was an understatement. Sitting in his chair looking nonchalant like he didn’t too much care for all the attention to be on him. His butterscotch skin glowed under the lights, everything on him seemed perfect down to the crispy line-up and waves covering his head. His massive hand closed around the entire glass cup as he knocked down whatever dark liquid that was inside of his cup. His eyes landed on me and stayed on me, my heart sped up and I couldn’t believe that Soulful Hurtz had stolen my breath away from a great distance.

I met Soulful at a time when I felt like my dreams couldn’t and wouldn’t come true. Even when he ran out of that hotel from our one-night stand I still felt connected to him when I shouldn’t have at the time. He made my dreams come true from a distance, never bragging about it or announcing it like I owed him something in return. He was definitely sent to me from God and I appreciated him.

Chapter Thirty-Six

PRAYLAH

I had just left my therapy session, I felt so good and ready to conquer so much. Today, I was planning on having a girl's night with my girls and just relax. I missed spending time with Era, and Ju’well together. It seemed like we all were currently wrapped into our own personal things. Ju’well was now living with Honor and helping her recover fully from her injuries. Era, was staying with Soulful and they were inseparable. I loved how love looked on my girls, I was starting to miss it for myself.

I missed Matthew so much that I was becoming desperate to see him and feel him close to me again. A month after he left, I had found out that I was pregnant. I cried tears of joy because the last time we made love, it was so deep and strong, I already knew that I would be expecting soon after. Even though he was gone and getting better, I felt a sense of connection with this baby growing inside of me.

I haven’t told anyone that I was even pregnant because I thought it was fair for Matthew to know first. When he checked into that facility, I waited for days to hear from him. I got so desperate that I called his father. Praise told me that the facility thought that it would be best if he didn’t have a phone inside of the treatment facility. I thought it was a stupid thing that they kind of treated their patients like people in rehab.